The Long Road Home
by SarahAgnes
Summary: Adrieanna left Boston believing that the love of her life, Adam Cartwright, was dead. She wanted to start over, but will she be able to in his home town of Virginia City? She's conviced that she'll never be able to love again, especially with the past s
1. Prologue

She came from a dark and lonely past of struggles and burdens. It seemed as if there was absolutely no way to fill the void in her heart. And now the hole was deeper, and the more it dwelled in her, the deeper it became. She had spent her life trying to become like the mother she had barely known. Her body had been toughened by her father's will and iron hands. Through him, she was able to do the work of a man, almost better than a man could. Her brothers had helped her keep a child's heart and she was able to fill the female void as mothers came and went usually leaving a baby behind them. Nevertheless, the void in her heart grew, for 15 years it grew. Four years spent dancing had taught her a great deal about the world. She had even been able to find the one to fill the void, but he had left and hurrying to fill his place, she found another, but ended up with her heart in pieces. This is how she came to Virginia City, the roughest town in the Nevada Territory. She'd taken the job in a rush, only to get away, she needed to get away from the things and the people who'd hurt her, so she took that job to teach in a one room schoolhouse and now here she was praying for some light in her life.


	2. Chapter 1 : A Little Misunderstanding

The summer sun beat down on the stage. She shook the dust from her skirt again, and smoothed her hair as soon as she heard the driver announce that they where almost there. A few minutes later, she saw the sign. "Welcome to Virginia City, Jewel of the Comstock,"

Her heart wanted to stop. But, the wheels kept turning.

I've got no choice. I've got an obligation. Hell, I've signed a contract. She thought. What was I thinking? I don't see why in the world I've brought myself here.

She would probably go to his grave, and pay respects. She might find out where his family's ranch was, she might even go and look around. She needed a horse. She might buy it from there. But, could she make it? This was a strange place. She was completely alone. She had no friends here. Only the waft of a memory, she guessed it followed her from Boston. She could not get rid of it there, in Colorado, or here. There was no way of losing it here.

God, I shouldn't have come here, she thought. I'll probably run into his father, or his brothers. At least they don't know me. But it'll be almost the same as seeing him. Why can't I get over him? Why'd he have to be taken from me so suddenly? This should be my trip to him. I shouldn't have taken this job. I should just turn back. Why did I sign a contract, what was I thinking. I must have been out of my mind…

The screech of the stage brakes brought her out of her thoughts. The sounds of the town flooded into the windows. A cloud of dust filled the air as the stage came to a jolting halt.

As the dust settled, the door opened and light poured into the small wooden box. The other three passengers crawled out. The other travelers had someone to greet them on the sidewalk. From what she could see, no one had come to meet her. She would almost rather have it that way. She rose from her seat, and again shook the dust from her skirts again. The sun bounced off the ground and into her eyes as she stepped onto the ladder. She unfolded her parasol to block the beams and took a step onto the platform, but the light was almost blinding and making her dizzy.

"Careful, Miss." A familiar voice whispered beside her, as the one it belonged to caught her elbow. Looking up, she saw it was Charlie, who had been her driver since she left Colorado. She had learned to recognize Charlie's voice. It had become a comfort in a way too, especially when they had to stop in strange towns. She'd learned not to go on night strolls unless he was somewhere near, especially when there where cowboys in town. Too many times a drunk from the saloon had seen her, and well, one could guess what he wanted her company for, but Charlie had kept watch over her. He had not seemed happy about having only one female passenger, but his opinion of her eventually changed. After that, he changed from calling her "Woman" to "Miss" and treated her with some respect.

"Oh, thank you, Charlie. I guess I've spent too much time on wheels." She smiled; he smiled back, giving her some glimmer of courage. They both knew it was not the time spent traveling that had made her knees weak. She took a few steps into the shade and waited for her trunk to be unloaded.

A man walked up beside her. He had a handsome face and familiar eyes. He may have been in his 50's possibly; he dressed like a rancher, a very well off rancher. He seemed to be looking for someone, but she could not tell whom. All the other passengers were hugging relatives, or talking to business partners. She did not know if anyone would be there to greet her or not. They had been held up for four days because of the Apache's feud with the Cheyenne in the West part of the Colorado territory.

She knew that anymore than a four day stall, would have given him enough time to catch up with her, if he came after them. She knew her cousin would be there to protect her family. If one thing was for sure, she could always count on Matthew when she was gone. But, she must give credit to her brothers. Simon is only two years younger than she and he'd….

"Miss," Charlie called, breaking her thoughts. He motioned for her to come to him. He was now talking to the rancher. She walked over wondering if this was her welcoming party.

"See, Ben," Charlie continued, "she's the Cooper I brought from Colorado Springs."

"I'm sorry, Miss," the rancher, Ben, continued, now addressing her, "there's been some sort of misunderstanding."

"What kind of misunderstanding, sir?" She replied, her knees suddenly feeling very weak.

"Well, miss, you see we hired a Mr. A.M. Cooper to be our schoolteacher, and he was supposed to arrive from Colorado Springs on this stage and I've come to meet him, but instead of a him, we have…"

"There's no misunderstanding, Mr.…?" she asked.

"Cartwright, Ben Cartwright."

Oh, God! His father, She never thought this would happen!

"Well, Mr. Cartwright, I am A.M. Cooper, I've ridden this stage all the way from Colorado Springs, and a train from Boston before that."

"That sounds right, Miss Cooper, but we hired a man."

"No, you hired me."

"But your acceptance letter, that's a man's signature." He said, pulling the letter from his pocket, and showing her her own handwriting. "This is a man's signature."

"Actually, It's mine. I sign with my initials most of the time. I'm sorry to have confused you."

"But why write your initials?" Mr. Cartwright was confused.

"You try having a name that takes up half a page." She joked.

"And what would that name be, Miss?"

"Adrieanna Mycheala Cooper." She answered proudly.

"You're right that's quite a mouthful of a name."

"You can thank my mother," she said sarcastically, "Now Mr. Cartwright, if you don't mind, please explain why it's so important that you hired a man?"

"There's a lot of explaining to do, why don't we get you settled into your hotel room first, and then we'll meet for a late lunch."

Couldn't I just be shot? She thought. She did not want to go, but she felt obligated to take his suggestion. She was tired, and she didn't want to have to face his family… she knew he had no idea who she was, but …how could she…there's absolutely no way she could stay. She just hoped she would not have to work closely with Mr. Cartwright and his two remaining sons.

She found that there was a room waiting for her at the hotel. Apparently, the Cartwright name was quite respected in the area. She bet the community took his loss pretty hard, but Cartwright's eyes didn't seem to be filled with sorrow, they seemed to shine with glee. How could they, surely he felt the loss so much more than she did, and now an hour went by that she didn't think of her dear darling…

The hotel room was simple, but the bed looked inviting. Two weeks worth of traveling had taken a toll on her. She debated if she should unpack or not, so she pulled out a few dresses. She looked in the mirror, and realized how dusty she actually was, then poured some water into a basin and washed up. She changed into her favorite dress; it was his favorite too. It was a beautiful blue; he used to say it matched her eyes…

There was a knock at the door.

"Miss Cooper, are you ready for lunch yet?" Mr. Cartwright's voice came through loud and clear.

"I'll be down in a minute," she answered.

"All right, I'll be down in the lobby." He called back and she heard his footsteps go down the hall. She wished she could just stay there forever, but that was impossible. She'd have to face him eventually, look into his eyes, and see face of someone who's heart's had been crushed, and it was her fault. If only she'd have been there. If only…


	3. Chapter 2 : If I'd Have Only Known

Lunch went smoothly enough. Mr. Cartwright had been good company, but Adrien was almost afraid to speak. She was informed of the plan to keep her at the hotel. She did not like it, but there was not much she could do about it. She went to sleep that night praying that she would not have to go home.

She woke up the next morning with a knock at the door.

"Miss Cooper, may I come in?"

It was a familiar voice, but being slightly drowsy from being so quickly awakened, she could not place it.

"Just a minute please," she called through the door, pulling a dress from her closet.

That's not Mr. Cartwright, she thought as she unbraided her hair, brushed it, and quickly braided it back. She quickly poured some water from the pitcher into the basin and washed her face.

"I'm sorry, I came so …oh my God." Adrien had opened the door to her room. The sunlight streaming through the window had suddenly hit her face. It could not be, he was seeing things, but those sapphire eyes, the perfect dancer's figure, and her extensive raven locks couldn't be any one else. He was not just wishing and hoping when he Pa had said her name.

"Adrien?" He had to be absolutely sure.

At that moment she knew whom that voice belonged to, but how could it be? Last she heard he was… that couldn't be, he was right here in front of her…but why wasn't he… she'd thought he would at least be… but after all this time, no, she had to be imaging.

She stepped closer to him. He took his hat from his head. This can't be real, she thought. His skin was well tanned from the Nevada sun, his hair was still as dark as hers and his liquid brown eyes... she'd never seen such eyes before she met him. She reached up, and touched his face.

"I don't believe it," she whispered, "they told me you were…" She could not finish; the tears choked her voice back.

"Told you I was what?" he asked

"Please come in," she led him into her room, and shut the door.

"They told me you'd been killed!" she answered.

"When?" He asked confused.

"The day you were supposed to leave." A glint of a tear appeared in her eye.

"So that's why you never came to the station that day, I knew I should have come for you." He replied with anger in his voice.

"Then, why didn't you?" she asked.

"I waited, and don't you remember the night before that? I don't think I'd ever seen you that mad," he laughed slightly remembering the fiery temper he once loved.

"It doesn't matter now, just forget it." She looked away him, and wiped the tear away.

"I want to, but to think of what I lost because of it, I can't forget, not even if I wanted too." He came up behind her, and whispered in her ear.

"You really don't want to forget any of it?" she asked curious and losing apprehension.

"I guess, a lot of things have changed for the both of us, I got a wedding invitation from you a couple months ago." He stated, hoping to change to a lighter subject.

"I didn't send it." She said surprised.

"I don't know who did, but I guessed that was why you didn't meet me that day."

"No, that was never the reason."

" I know that now." He held her in a firm embrace, the strangeness between them suddenly changed.

" So whatever happened to your wedding?"

"Don't ask."

"Long story?"

"Too long."

"Maybe one of these days?" He asked, hoping to open her up.

"Adam, do you ever quit asking questions?"

" No, will you ever tell me?"

"Maybe someday, Adam, someday."

They hugged again, and Adrien began to feel a little less afraid.

"Why don't I treat you to breakfast?" He asked, suddenly exuberant.

"As long as you don't cook it, I'd be glad to." She answered rather matter-of-factly.

"Well, I see we haven't lost our sense of humor."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

"You know, if you look at this place right, it is kind of …charming." Adrien stated with a light laugh. They had found a table at a charming little café off a side street.

"Charming, that's the only adjective you have for this place?"

"You always said I talked too much." She laughed.

"That was just during things that should be silent." Adam quipped.

"Now, Adam, that was never silent, and you know it."

"That wasn't completely my fault."

"Well, it wasn't all mine." Adrien was having a hard time keeping herself from rolling on the ground in laughter. Her smile was something that Adam had especially missed.

"Adam, why did you show up at the hotel this morning?" she asked as they waited for the dishes to be cleared from the table.

"I wanted to show you something." He answered.

"You didn't even know I was here."

"I wasn't sure," he explained, "but if it was you, I wanted to show you something."

"What is it, Adam?"

"You'll have to come with me."

"Then lets go now!" she exclaimed excitedly, almost jumping out of her chair.

"Easy, girl. We'll go, just go check out of that hotel first," Adam got up to leave.

"Why do I need to check out?"

"Because you aren't staying there."

"Where am I going to stay then?"

"You'll see." They got up and left.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

"So, where we going?" Adrien asked. They were on the road to…Adrien actually did not know where. The sun was bright and it was a beautiful day.

"Well, when I found out that it was you coming to teach I remembered how much you hated living in town, so I thought maybe you'd like this little place I have."

"Do you live there?" she asked suddenly intrigued.

"No, I almost did," he answered, "but plans changed. I'll have to warn you, this place isn't exactly done yet."

"How not done?" she asked, this was not like him.

"There's some painting to do, flooring to finish upstairs, and some doors to hang. It's nothing really, I wouldn't have you stay there, but I know if you knew it was that close to being done then you'd shoot me for not letting you help and for making you stay in town."

"You know me all to well," she marveled at his ability to still pin point her personality perfectly.

"So, Adrien, why did you quit dancing?"

"It wasn't worth it anymore."

"But you loved it, Adrien."

"I know, I used too, but there was no one to take care of Rebecca while I was in rehearsals, and performing, and the off season was treacherous, I had to waitress to keep busy, and I began singing in bars too."

"Wasn't Rebecca enough to distract you?" Adam asked.

"She wasn't someone I wanted to be around at that time, and I think you know why."

"I do, but it's a shame, you are so talented, and you were dazzling on stage."

"Adam, you never had a negative thing to say about my dancing."

"Well, you were the only ballerina I ever knew showed personality instead of acting like a little idol to be worshipped."

"So when are we going to get to wherever we're going?" Adrien asked still intrigued by this mystery.

"Actually we're here," Adam announced as he turned the buggy in to a driveway, which seemed to lead to a wall of pine trees. As they crossed the wall, a quaint little cottage came into view; they crossed a footbridge to clear a small stream, which flowed in front of the house. It was beautiful enough to take Adrien's breath away. Adam helped her out of the buggy, and led her in to the front room, then gave her a moment to look around.

"So what do you think?" Adam asked, hopeful.

"It's perfect." She answered.

The next day, Adam took her to get a horse from the Ponderosa. Adrien picked a coal black Arabian mare with a white star on her head. She named her Beauty.

Adam watched her ride Beauty in the round pen. No matter where she is or what she does, she's graceful, beautiful; and at one time she was mine. He thought.

Oh, Lord, make her mine again. I promise, I won't let her go again, not ever again.


	4. Chapter 3 : The Meeting

"Adrien," Adam called from the front door, "are you ready yet?"

"I'm coming, just hold your horses" she replied as she ran down the stairs. It had only been a few days since she arrived, and the two had not spent much time apart.

"I thought I told you six o'clock," he said sternly

"When do I ever listen? And besides, you know me, I like to be fashionable late." She kidded.

He gave her another stern look.

"Don't look at me like that." She retorted

"Adrien, why do you still act like you're performing but you're not the prima ballerina anymore."

"You aren't my father, and secondly, I am on time."

" It isn't just that."

"I don't see what you're so worried about, they can't start till I get there."

"Well, they could hire someone else." He retorted.

"Then tomorrow you're taking me into town, and I'm getting on the first stage out of here."

"No, you're not, you're staying and I'm finishing painting the inside of this house. I have what we need at the ranch."

"Finally, I want to get started." She kidded

"Don't worry, next week, I'll bring everything over and I'll get this place fixed up for you." He began to explain.

"Adam Cartwright, if you don't listen to me…"

" Alright, alright, I'll get started tomorrow"

"No, we'll get started tomorrow"

"Adrien, I can't let you…" he begged.

"You can't let me do this kind of work, well let me tell you something, I grew up on a ranch too, if you don't remember, and I've done just as hard of work as you have. And I don't want anything to do with you if you think you can underestimate me just because I'm a woman."

"Down girl."

"I'm not a horse either, Adam Cartwright." She nagged, but a gleam still in her eyes.

"Can we go, you can finish chewing me out on the way to town."  
"Fine." She answered, mockingly indignant.

"Just one request, leave enough of me to fill that seat at the meeting." He stated, the mood still light.

"Alright, alright, I was finished with you anyway."

"Can we leave now?"

"I never said we couldn't" She opened the door and walked out.

Adam grabbed the reigns, and climbed into the buggy.

"Well aren't you going to help me up?" Adrien cried out indignantly.

"My word woman, first you don't want to be treated like a lady and now you do. When will I ever figure you out?"

He gave her his hand and pulled her up into the carriage.

"So what should I expect tonight?" she asked beginning to get nervous.

"Nothing you won't be prepared for." Adam sat silent for a moment. "My father's on there too."

"Why are you on if your father is too?"

"I'm the only person in town with a college degree."

"What's the point of this meeting anyway?"

"We want to make sure that you're the person for the job."

"But didn't you already hire me."

"Don't worry Adrien, you're the first teacher we've had that's passed their certification exam as well as you did. It's pretty much in the bag for you."

They rode on for what didn't seem long enough to be the mile and a half to the schoolhouse before it was in view. Adrien's stomach was beginning to tie itself in knots. Adam tied the horse to the hitching post on the side of the building and went to help Adrien down. After this was done, Adam headed for the door of the schoolhouse.

"Aren't you coming?" he asked as soon as he realized that Adrien was not following him.

"Adam, I don't know if I can do this," she answered, her nervousness beginning to show.

"Finally, feeling nervous? I thought I told you, you have nothing to worry about."

"This is different, it's not as simple as dancing or waiting tables in a café."

"No, it's not, but it's nothing you can't handle."

"But this meeting isn't all, what about after the summer's over and school actually starts?"

"Adrien, you can handle it. Now let's go."

He headed for the door again, this time she followed.

As she entered the room the eight men looked up and stared. Adam shut the door behind her, and moved to her side.

"Gentlemen, this is Virginia City's new teacher, Miss Cooper."

The men nodded and sat down at a long table that had been placed in the center of the room. She went to sit down but then she realized there wasn't a chair for her. Ben remained standing.

"Why don't you take a seat at your new desk?" he said.

She quickly sat down and tried not to look scared. This time she handled her nervousness by looking every one in the eye.

" First of all, Miss Cooper, we'd like to welcome you to Virginia City," Ben continued, "We hope you are happy here."

" Thank you very much, I'm getting along quite well."

"Well, we all know you have a new house to get settled into, so we won't be long, we'd just like to give you the interview that we couldn't get with you all the way on the east coast. Shall we get started?"

He sat down and another man spoke up.

"Shouldn't we introduce ourselves first?"

"Thank you, that almost slipped my mind," the first said as he again stood.

"This is Loren Slicker," he began, "he runs the local mercantile…."

The man he pointed to gave Adrien a slight nod, which she returned.

"… This is Jacob Bray," the man continued apparently going clockwise around the table, "he runs the bank. This is James Lodge, the head of the Miner's Association and then we have Gary Roberts who owns the hotel. This is Roy Coffee, the town sheriff, and then we have the head of the Cattlemen's association, Terry Ingram. This is our Mayor and head of the school board, Hamilton James. All we're going to do tonight is ask you a few questions to make sure you're the person for the job," Mr. Cartwright continued. He sat down and looked around the table waiting for someone to start.

"What have you been doing since you left school?" This time the question came from Mr. Ingram.

" I was a dancer in the Boston ballet for about three years."

"Why did you stop, Miss Cooper?" This question came from Mr. Lodge.

"My love for the dance was suddenly drained, and I was beginning to have a few problems in my legs anyway, and I had my sister to take care of too."

"Why wasn't your sister at home with your mother?"

"My mother died when Becca was born." She looked down at the desk.

"Why couldn't your father keep her?" Lodge was relentless.

She looked at Adam; this man was cutting to close. She could tell by Adam's face that he knew it too. Adam shot an angry look to his father, telling him these questions were not necessary.

"Mr. Lodge," Ben cut in, "why don't we let someone else have the floor?"

Adrien let her breathe go. Mr. Lodge did not say another word the rest of the night.

Sheriff Coffee spoke up.

"How much experience do you have in teachin' Miss?"

" I haven't actually taught on my own, but I did some tutoring in school. I graduated first in my class."

The rest of the night went on with questions like that of the Sheriff's, and no one mentioned anything about Rebecca, but that night Adrien never got back to the confident feeling she'd had before the mention of her father.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

That night, riding home, Adrien did not say a word. Adam could tell by her silence that Lodge had stepped on some toes. She had never talked about her father much before; Adam suspected he just was not a big part of Adrien's life. Any one could tell just from her conversation that she adored every one of her siblings. Her father, Adam concluded must be quite a rough subject if she panicked at his mention. He wanted to talk to about it, but he thought it could wait; she was too rattled tonight. But he couldn't let this go; she'd acted like something had been troubling her since she'd gotten here. He had to find out. He was not going to let this go.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

They pulled up to Adrien's house; she got herself down this time.

"Adrien, wait," he called out suddenly. He climbed out of the buggy, and walked up to the porch steps. The moonlight streamed from the sky and lit and shadowed her face.

"Adrien, I…I …I just wanted to tell you, he stammered as he took a few steps closer to her, I…I…I'm really glad you're here." He had Adrien in his arms now and he bent down to kiss her.

"Adam, please…" she turned her head away.

"What's wrong Adrien?" he asked confused.

"Things have changed, you said so yourself. I can't. We've changed too much."

He let her go and headed for home, wondering what she meant, his feelings had not changed for her, was she saying that hers had? But she acted like she still… He had never been more confused in his life.


	5. Chapter 4 : The House

A week had passed. Adrien had not seen Adam since the night of the school board meeting. The house still was not finished. She had to do something, if only she could talk to Adam. She did not mean to hurt him; she needed him. If only she could tell him that.

It was a bright sunny morning; Adrien had decided to sleep late. She woke up to the sound of a wagon in the yard. She looked out the window. Seeing it was Adam, she pulled on her robe and ran through the front door.

"I just wanted to drop this by, I guess you want to do it yourself, so I'll be going," he said with a sad tone.

"Adam, wait, Adrien pleaded, please, we need to talk," she pleaded.

"About what, you told me every thing I needed to know a week ago."

"No, please that wasn't what I meant. I…Will you just come in?" She was getting desperate.

"I'm expected back in a little while."

"Then I won't keep you long… Adam, please."

He reluctantly went inside, and sat down at the kitchen table.

"Alright, but get yourself cleaned up first, I'll make some coffee."

"Oh, thank you, Adam." She went upstairs, washed her face, re-braided her hair, and put on her favorite satin blue dress. She went back downstairs into the kitchen where Adam had the coffee waiting. She sat down and waited for him to say something. He sat there silently waiting for her to do the same.

"Adam, listen I…" She tried to explain.

"I know what you meant." He turned away but Adrien was relentless.

"Will you listen?" She asked intensely. His eyes seemed almost like darts.

"I'm listening."

"The other night, I didn't mean what I said, well not exactly what I said." She stopped for a moment, brushing her hands over her face. She was beginning to confuse herself.

"I know what you meant." Adam replied, completing her thought.

"Then what did I mean?" she asked, starting to get angry, knowing he did not understand.

"Everything we had before is gone, everything you felt for me, all the plans we made; it's all gone." Adam said, looking down at the table, he sounded as if were almost in tears.

"Adam, when I said things had changed that wasn't what I meant to say, I meant I've changed."

"What about us?"

"I thought there was no _us_ anymore before I came here, I tried to start over there, I came here to start over again after that."

"And just how did you start over?" Adam asked.

"I almost rushed into a marriage." Her eyes were cast to the floor; she turned away from him.

"Then why can't we pick up where we left off?" Adam asked confused.

"Because I need time, I just cancelled a wedding, I just found out you were still alive not long ago. I need time to sort things out. That's what I meant to say the other night." She answered.

"Why didn't you say that?"

"I didn't really know what to say. I never even thought of you trying to pick up where we left off." She got up and looked out the window.

"So what do we do now?" Adam asked still confused.

"I'd like to have my chance to start over." She declared.

"So, forget about us?"

"For now."

"For how long?" He asked solemnly.

"I don't know."

"When will you know?" He was not giving up easily.

"Why are you trying to rush me?" She felt pressured, suddenly the urge to run.

"How will I know when it's time?" He asked.

"Adam, how did it feel when you tried to kiss me?" she asked, hoping to steer him away from the subject.

"I don't really know." He answered, not knowing where this was going.

"Did it feel right?"

"Adrien, you know I wouldn't…"

"Adam, did it feel right?" She persisted.

"It didn't feel real."

"When it does, it's time." She told him.

She took a final swig of the coffee.

"I'm glad you made this and not me, it's been along time since I've had a decent cup."

Adam smiled for the first time that morning.

"I'm glad I could oblige you," he added, "now I have some things to do, so if you don't mind…"

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

She and Adam began working on the house. First thing to be done was to finish hanging the doors upstairs. Adrien was not much help here. After this was done Adam left Adrien to painting the first floor, while he did the finishing touches on the barn. It was lonely work after the conversation downstairs, but judging from the sun and his stomach, it would be dinnertime soon.

He worked a little bit longer, until he smelled something cooking from the barn. He had not realized exactly how hungry he was until he entered the kitchen and found lunch already on the table. He sat down and started eating before he realized Adrien was not present. He searched the first floor, which sickeningly smelled like whitewash.

"Adrien," he called upstairs.

"Yes," she answered from behind him. He turned to find her leaning up against the doorframe in a blue blouse and jeans!

"What's the surprised look for?" she asked smiling.

"This is different." He answered

"Well, I couldn't get whitewash all over my clothes."

"I wasn't meaning that."

"What did that mean?" she asked.

"I thought you'd grown out of wearing those." He stated, still surprised.

"I guess you've been away from society a little too long." She told him.

"You were the only girl I knew who wore those."

"What's the big deal, Adam, every girl I've known wears jeans when they work. I've even seen some women here wear them. Open your eyes, and stop worrying about only me.

"Who said I'm only worrying about you?" He asked.

"It sure seems like it sometimes, and it's not your place to complain about what I wear."

"Who said I was complaining?" He asked coyly.

"Adam!"


	6. Chapter 5 : Confessions

The house was soon complete, and Adrien and Adam had almost completely forgotten about their scrape after the school board meeting. It was getting into the dog days of summer, which Adrien found harder to handle than the Colorado summers she was accustomed too. More often than not, Adam ended up bringing her home earlier and earlier from their drives and rides. They spent Independence Day on her rooftop, watching the fireworks from town. But as usual that night was also cut short, because of Adrien's heat sickness. Adrien got used to spending her days inside, instead of helping Adam fix up the stable. Her days inside began to move faster after he was finished. Now he brought her poetry and novels from his own collection at home. As mid-July brought the worst of summer, Adrien became sicker and sicker.

"Adrien, why don't you go home?" Adam offered one evening after seeing her at her worst.

"Why should I?" She was sitting on the couch holding a glass of water.

"Look at you, you're miserable."

"I'm used to summer in the mountains."

"Then why don't I take you further into the Sierras for a little while?" He took her hand

"Let me get used to this. Next summer it won't be like this."

"At least let yourself get better." Adam persisted.

"I'm not going home."

"I didn't mean going home was your only option."

"Adam, please…" She stood up only to collapse onto the couch once more.

"Adrien, why are you so adamant about not going home?" He asked as he helped her sit back up.

"If I go home, he'll be there. It won't be long until he finds me here."

"Who?" Adam asked

"My father." She answered.

"What happened?"

"I found out what happened to her, to all of them."

"Adrien, make sense, who did your father do what to?"

"He killed her, he killed all of them." She said.

"Killed who?"

"My stepmother, all of my stepmothers."

"What do you mean?" Adam was getting confused.

"Last Christmas, I saw him do it."

"Tell me everything."

"I went home for Christmas to tell my family about my wedding. Christmas night, Lydia and my father had a big argument, he started hitting her, she kept crying and screaming, I tried to stop it, but I was no match for him. Then at the end of May, she came up missing. A few days later, she turned up dead. The posse found her in the woods. It looked like she'd been dead a while too; they figured she was beaten to death. The funny thing is that all my other stepmothers have ended up beaten to death. My cousin, Matthew is the sheriff, he's noticed the pattern too. He said something to me about it and then I realized that we were right. I had seen what he did last Christmas to Lydia, and Simon remembered seeing him beating Eliza too. Well anyway, I confronted my father, he told my to keep my mouth shut and if I didn't, he'd kill me too. He didn't let me talk to anyone but I was leaving, so I left. He didn't know where I was going; he didn't even know I had this job. I wrote Matthew a letter; I mailed it at my first stop on the way here. By now he knows, he hasn't written me back. That's what scares me, my father knows by now that I've told someone and he's probably on his way to get me, or even worse, Matthew may have confronted him, and he's been hurt or maybe even dead."

"Adrien, why didn't you stay and do something?" Adam asked suddenly understanding her behavior.

"I was scared, I know he won't hurt any of the children, they're all his, except Rebecca."

"Adrien, why didn't you at least tell me?"

"I knew that if he came after me, then I could just leave, and he wouldn't know where I went."

"Or you could've just told me in the first place, Adrien, I can protect you."

"I don't need you to protect me, I can take care of myself." She got up and went to the window.

"Adrien, even the strongest man needs protection." Adam tried to convince her.

"Adam, why won't you listen to me?" She pleaded.

"I've been listening."

"This is something I have to do myself. And until I have a problem, I'm not leaving."

He joined her at the window.

"Then will, you do something for me?" He asked, putting his hand on her shoulder.

"What?"

"Will you get some rest? You're going to end up killing yourself in this heat, and I can't exactly protect you from that."

"Are you ever going to quit being so protective?" She asked, turning to face him, trying to lighten the mood.

"Only when you take care of yourself."

"Oh, Adam…" she quietly laughed; he wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close.


	7. Chapter 6 : A Day Of Rain

Adrien sat by the same window she had a week before, watching the raindrops fall into the creek. She had made her promise and she had kept it. Now she was almost herself again, but still avoiding the outdoors. Adam felt better about leaving her alone and went back to his work on his father's ranch, but he still rode over to check on her every evening, but today's rain made work impossible. So Adam had ridden over with a few more books from his collection, he was sitting on the loveseat reading Longfellow right now, but Adrien was not paying attention.

"Something attempted, something done, has earned a night's repose…." Adam read on.

"Adrien, are you listening?"

"What, did you say something?" she answered coming out of her daydream.

"Adrien, I asked you if you'd heard this one before."

"I've heard almost everything Browning has ever written." She answered

"That wasn't Browning I was reading." He sounded a little annoyed.

"Oh, sorry, I guess I wasn't."

"Is something bothering you?" He asked, concerned that she was getting sick again.

"No, I was just thinking."

"Adrieanna…" He closed the book, and joined her at the window.  
"What?"

"Something is bothering you." He asked hoping to find some clue.

"Nothing's bothering me, just keep reading."

"Is it your father again?"

"No." she answered.

"Adrien, what is it?"

"There's nothing wrong." She looked back at the window. "I was just thinking."

"Adrien, don't lie to me." Adam chastised.

"I'm not…" Adam put his hand over her mouth.

"Adrien, listen you're going to sit down right over there, and tell me what's bothering you, or else. Got it?"

She nodded; Adam led her over to the couch and sat her down, and he removed his hand.

"Tell me." He restated his order.

"Adam, will you quit, I'm…" He put his hand back on her mouth.

"You're going to tell me." He said taking his hand down again.

"No." She answered.

"Then we'll sit here all day."

"Adam, please."

"No, you're going to tell me."

"Tell you what?" She asked.

"Adrien, what's wrong?"

"I'm not telling you."

"Then I'll get it out of you." Adam was not giving up.

"Why are you being so stubborn?"

"Because you're being stubborn."

"Adam." She turned her back towards him, and crossed her arms. He could tell that she was beginning to get very annoyed.

"Adrien."

"Please, just stop." Some tears began to appear in her eyes.

"Adrien, you're telling me."

"Alright, alright, if it'll shut you up."

"What's wrong?" Adam's voice began to soften.

She gave him a last pleading look.

"You got an invitation for a wedding in late February didn't you?" She began.

"Yes, I did. What about it?"

Will the mystery ever stop? He thought.  
"What was the date of the wedding?" She asked again.

"I don't remember."

"July 18th." She answered for him.

"That date seems close."

"It's today." She went back to her window.

"Why are you so depressed? I thought you were happy that you didn't end up married." Adam was beginning to again get confused.

"How could any person be happy about getting their heart broken?" She asked surprised at what he said.

"But Adrien, I thought that you didn't really love him."  
"It still hurts to have your plans shattered like that." She corrected him.

"What happened anyway?" He asked trying to get to the bottom of this.

"It's a long story."  
"You said that the day you got here."

"Well, it is!" She exclaimed.

"I'm not in a hurry."

"I planned to meet you at the station, the day you left. I'd made up my mind, I was going to go with as far as Denver, then I was going to see my family and then meet up with you later..."

She paused. Tears threatened again. Adam stood behind her and set his hand supportively on her shoulder.

"Adrien, it's alright." This time his voice was low and soft.

She looked up at him, letting tears fill her eyes.

"Oh, Adam, I'm so sorry…I should have never listened to him."

She threw herself into him, he held her close.

" Adrien, it's alright, let it out…Now, what did he tell you?"

"He told me you were dead."

"I still regret not coming for you." He tried to hold he closer. She pulled away and looked into his eyes.

"I shouldn't have believed him." She said.

"Who?"

"Gabriel."

"Jennings?" Adam looked disgusted.

"I know, it's hard to believe, I was almost Mrs. Gabriel Jennings." She crossed the room and sat down on the loveseat.

"What?" Adam was almost aghast. Jennings was the only man that Adam had ever met that he immediately didn't like, as he'd gotten to know more about him, that feeling was reinforced.

"Don't look so surprised, you got an invitation." She commented when she saw him face. Adam left the window, and joined her on the loveseat.

"It only had your name on it." He remembered.

"Really?"

"Yes."

"But both names where on the…"

"It was handwritten." He interrupted.

"I wonder how that…"

"It wasn't your writing, but it sounded like you wrote it." Adam filled in.

"Then, it must have been him." She concluded.

Adam stood up and began to pace. "Why would you want to marry Jennings anyway?"

"I needed to replace you, I thought you where gone." She answered.

Adam was confused and slightly hurt, he hoped that he had meant enough to at least be mourned over, but Adrien was different, especially when it came to mourning a loved one. When her mother died, she just ran, and then she acted like it never happened most of the time. He had just hoped that she would have acted different, but then again, he did not act much differently when he got home.

"So he told you I was dead? He had to have come up with one hell of a story."

"He didn't have that hard of a time, there was a shooting near there that morning, he just altered the timing slightly."

"And he said that I was caught in crossfire." Adam guessed.

"No, he said you started it."

"You actually believed that I would fire for no reason?" Adam asked in disbelief.

"I wasn't thinking. I was in shock from finding out you were dead." She explained, hearing the pain in Adam's voice.

"I don't believe it. I always knew he was cunning, but I never thought he was that smart."

"I didn't now he was either until I came here, and saw you alive."

"So you thought I was dead and then…?" Adam knew there had to be more to this story.

"He was _always_ around. He'd show up at work, I'd run into him after a rehearsal. He was everywhere, and he'd always talk about you. I'd start crying, he'd be there to comfort me. I eventually felt comfortable around him. After about two months he brought up the idea of marriage. Rebecca liked him and I was lonely, so I agreed."

"Then he sent an invitation to me, hoping I'd come, and by the time you found out I was alive, you'd have already said your vows and had no way out."

"He wanted to torture you, and get me stuck in a marriage I'd regret for the rest of my life. I'm so sorry, Adam." She apologized.

"It's all right, it wasn't your fault. I've got to admit, he was one clever bastard." Adam replied, "Well, what happened after that?"

"We made plans."

"So what happened to those plans"

"I was coming home from work one night, by this time I'd quit dancing and was working in the cafe, I was living with Shirley; I'd had a fight with Grace so I moved. Well, it was okay living there, the rent was higher, but there was so much tension between Grace and me I couldn't take it."

"Did she have problems with Gabe?"

"She didn't think that I should've believed him." She looked down at the floor, "And little did I know, she was actually right. I wonder how she knew."

"She was there when I left, we couldn't find you, and she heard what Jennings said. I couldn't miss that train."

"I know, I almost missed it home this summer, and for some reason they only go out to Denver, once a week."

"Adrien, you're avoiding the subject."

"Sorry."

"Anyway, you moved out because Grace didn't agree with you rushing into a marriage, you were living with Shirley and…"

"I didn't really like her, but the only time Shirley was home is when I was in rehearsal or at work. On night I came home early, and I found them …_together_."

"What exactly does _together _mean?" Adam asked.

"You know … _together_."

"No, I don't know."

"Adam, do I have to spell it out for you?" She thought he was being rather immature.

"Alright, I know what you mean. It's ok, I understand…well at least I think I do, so what happened after that?"

"I left, what did you expect me to do? Did you think I'd actually stay?" Adrien exclaimed surprised, she got up to retreat to her window, but Adam grabbed her wrist to stop her. She sat back down beside him; he looked into her eyes.

"I expected you to confront him right there."

"What made you think that?"

"That's what you used to do. You never were afraid of anything before."

"Things changed after you left."

"How?" Adam asked.

"Nothing was the same, I avoided any confrontation, I got so mad at people sometimes, but I … I just shook it off. Sometimes I'd get so mad I'd start shaking. The night I left Gabe, Will and Grace found me on the street, I was as drunk as a dog, the first and only time I'd ever drank in my life. I felt like it was over anyway. I just wanted to die. I would have if they hadn't found me."

"Is that how you got those scars on your arms?"

"How'd you know about those?" Adrien pulled her sleeves further over her wrists.

"They show every once in a while." Adam took her hands in his.

"When did you see them?" She asked, beginning to feel calm, but ashamed.

"One night you got so sick that you passed out. I cut the sleeves off your shirt so you'd cool off, I thought you knew."

"I guess I'd forgotten. But how'd you guess I got them that night."

"Things are starting to fit together, at first I'd thought something happened with your father, but I after what you just told me, I changed my mind."

"I was drunk, I didn't know what I was doing." Adrien explained.

"Apparently, but what where you thinking?"

"You were gone, and I couldn't replace you, no matter how hard I tried. Somewhere I got the idea to break a whiskey bottle and…"

"… And cut your wrists with one of the pieces, then after you cut your wrists, you got out of control."

"I never thought pain would be so pleasant."

Adam pulled her close.

"Just promise me that you'll never do it again, Gabe was never worth it and still isn't even worth a single tear."

"But you are." She looked up into his eyes; Adam was suddenly lost in her small pools of blue that still wanted to brim over. For a moment, he felt as if she was back, she was really the old Adrien, the one he'd fell in love with four years ago.

"Adrien, I… I… I…I still…I still…never mind" he trailed off and walked across the room to the window. Adrien trailed him.

"Adam, you still what?"

"Never mind, Adrien."

"Adam, just tell me, you still what?"

"Adrien, never mind, I almost made another stupid mistake."

"Adam, what do you mean?"

"I'll tell you later." He suddenly jumped from his seat. "Listen tomorrow, how about I take you out for lunch, you've been cooped up in this house way too long." He had a sudden spark in his eye.

"I'd love it Adam, but it's so hot, I don't want to get sick again."

"Don't wear those long sleeves."

"But what about my scars?" Adrien asked.

"Bring a light wrap with you if you have one, you can wear that while you're in the house." He presented his solution

"What do you mean while I'm in the house?"

"You're going to eat supper with us too. I'll come and get you as soon as I get my chores caught up, it'll probably be about 10:00, be ready."

"That's a little early for lunch isn't it?"

"Just be ready." He ordered with mischief sparkling in his eyes.

"Alright. But are you sure you need to come so early?"

"Just be ready." Adam gave her a stern, yet whimsical look.

"It looks like the rain's letting up. I guess that means we can eat supper on the porch tonight."

"No, if it's letting up, then I better get home."

"Why?"

"If I'm going to spend the day with you tomorrow then I need to do chores tonight." Adam explained.

"So much for supper then."

"Adrien, you know I would, but Pa won't like it that I'm gone all day and then tomorrow too."

"Then maybe tomorrow's not such a good idea."

"Don't worry about it. Pa'll understand when he finds out I'm with you."

"Are you sure?" She asked, hoping to get out of going to dinner.

"Adrien, don't worry about it, just be ready when I come for you." Adam pulled her up from the couch. "I better go, I'm sorry about supper."

"I understand, it's been a long time since someone took me on a picnic though." Adrien replied as she walked Adam outside.

"I have a feeling no one's taken you on this kind of picnic before." He stated, as he went out the door.

"Oh, no, what have I gotten into now." Adrien exclaimed, wandering what tomorrow would bring.


	8. Chapter 7 : Abbie

Adam's mind was spinning as he rode home that night. He had almost done it again. He could not believe himself. He was so tempted. Adrien was falling apart. And the last time he tried to make something happen he'd almost lost her for good. Now it was almost like nothing had happened at all, of course, her being sick for the last few weeks helped that quite a bit. But where had he gotten the idea for this picnic? Was he crazy?

"There's absolutely no way I can handle a whole day of being alone with her, he thought, but there's no backing out of it now. I could stand her up, and make some excuse for not coming to get her. No, that's not good either. If I don't show up I bet she'll ride over here, and then she'll know I stood her up. That'll be even worse. How am I going to get out of this one."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

He did not get out of it. He stayed up until 2 in the morning trying to figure out what to do, meanwhile doing chores, in fact he got so much done that he and his brothers wouldn't' t have to do anything the next morning except feed the stock. At least that would stop Joe's complaining about having to do Adam's chores for a while.

It did not seem like it had been long enough when Adam woke up. But he had to; Hoss and Joe were about to knock down the door trying to thank him for doing the chores. Quickly Adam slapped on his usual black wardrobe, and headed downstairs. He was still buttoning his shirt when he got to the breakfast table.

"Good morning, son." His father greeted him.

"Mornin' Pa." Adam replied. Hop Sing, the house cook, brought out breakfast and set it in the table. Hoss dug in immediately, while the other three just gazed in amazement. It was like this every morning, Hop Sing was singing in Chinese in the kitchen, Hoss was on his third plate of food before anyone was done dishing out their first, and Pa was making small talk with each of the boys before deciding what the days project would be.

"Pa, there isn't much use in giving us chores to do today." Joe said giving a wide smile to Adam.

Why can't Joe keep his mouth shut, Adam thought.

"And why is that, son?" his father replied.

"Because Adam did 'em all last night." Hoss replied.

"So that's why you came in so late." Ben replied inquisitively to Adam.

"I was trying to catch up on what I missed last night, and I guess I got a little carried away." Adam answered, angry with Joe, but the smiles on both brothers' faces quickly cooled it.

"So what do you boys plan to do today?" Their father asked.

"I guess, I'll go for a ride today, maybe I'll take Jennifer too." Joe replied.

"Joe, have you studied at all since school let out?" Adam asked.

"No, but I don't see why I have to, school doesn't go back until September," the youngest Cartwright replied.

"And in September, you won't remember a darn thing. There'll be no riding today, only studying, and Hoss the same goes for you." Ben ruled.

"Ah, come on Pa, this ain't fair, I was making plans for today," Hoss protested.

"Well, you can change your plans, today you're studying and that's final."

"Pa, I don't see why we have to study, we don't even have a teacher." Joe asked, slamming his fork on the table.

"You do to have a teacher, and you have books to study too."

"Come on, Pa," the two boys protested.

"That's enough, finish your breakfast, and go upstairs." The two boys went back to their breakfast with long faces.

"Well, Adam," his father continued, "Since you have no studying to do, what do you plan to do today?"

"Not much, since I don't have anything to do, I thought maybe I'd take Adrie…I mean, Miss Cooper, down to the lake and go fishing."

"Sounds like a good idea, son, why don't you bring her up for supper too." Ben suggested.

"I was thinking of just that." Adam answered.

"Who's this Adrien?" Joe asked, "Is she a girl?" His famous ladies man instincts kicking in.

"She's a woman," Adam answered.

"Well, who is she?" Joe asked again.

"She's your new teacher." Ben answered

"She's what?" Joe stood up, again slamming his fork on his plate and scattering food everywhere.

"Joseph, sit down." His father yelled.

"Why do we have to get a new teacher?" He pleaded.

"Because you need to learn, Joseph, now sit down." Ben yelled again.

Joe sat down, and continued eating, Adam and Ben continued their conversation.

"How's Miss Cooper doing out there anyway?" Ben asked Adam.

"She's doing alright, she doesn't miss the noise her brothers make, that's for sure." Shooting a look at Little Joe.

"How does she like that house you fixed up for her?"

"She loves it, we've been working on the stables lately though, she wants to bring some of her horses from Colorado over here."

"I've heard of a nice ranch there where she's from, I've actually thought of buying some stock from there. I can't remember the name of it though. Why don't you ask Miss Cooper?"

"There's only one big ranch over in that area, it's called Cedar Ridge."

"Really!" Ben was suddenly interested in the conversation, "Does she know the place well, and maybe she could get us a connection there."

"She is the connection there. Her and her brothers run the place, it's a spread about as big as ours."

"How does she run it when she's not there?"

"Her brother sends her a telegraph every time they need to make a deal, they give her all the details, she usually sits down in the café for a little while, thinks it over, and sends them her opinion back. She did it while she danced in Boston too, it's worked well for her so far, two of her brothers are pretty good businessmen, they're all really hard workers."

"How many brothers does she have?" Ben asked.

"Seven." Adam answered.

"My word, she comes from a big family." Ben exclaimed.

"Yes and she's the oldest of them all."

"Does she have any sisters?" Joe piped up, feeling the most important details were being left out.

"The ladies man instinct always kicks in eventually doesn't it?" Adam replied, rather cynically.

"But does she have any sisters." Joe piped up again, being a little more persistent.

" Well, if you must know, she has five."

"Thirteen children! That is quite a family." Ben exclaimed.

"Her father's been married a few times." Adam explained.

"I see." Ben answered.

"Has Miss Cooper ever been married before?" Ben asked, seeing that his son had interest in her."

"No, but she almost did once." Adam answered; he could not lie to his father.

"Hmmm. Why does this sound familiar?" Ben toyed.

"That's enough, Pa." Adam shot him an annoyed look, shutting the subject down.

"You and her must have had a very strong friendship in Boston."

"How did you know?" Adam asked.

"When I told you the name of our new teacher when she arrived, the look on your face gave it away." His father revealed.

"Really." Adam soaked this in.

"Were you too _good _friends in Boston?" Ben asked.

"Let's just leave it alone." Was Adam's answer?

"Adam, is there something you haven't told me?" his father asked.

"There's nothing to tell." He stated as he rose from the table.

"Where are you going?" his father inquired.

"Adrien's."

"Aren't you going a little early?" Ben asked.

"You'll see when I get home." Then he headed out the door, his father followed, and as Adam came out of the barn with his horse he called out, "Adam, remember, pace yourself she does have a contract to fullfill."

"Pa, that's something you won't have to worry about." He mounted and rode away before his father could reply.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

"Are you ready to go." Adam asked when Adrien met him at her door.

"Yes, just hold on a second." She ran back in side to grab a wrap. "I don't see why we have to leave so early." She said as she came back out.

"You'll see when you get there. Are you sure you want to wear that?"

"Don't tell me you're having problems with my jeans again."

"Oh, well you've been invited over for dinner tonight, and I don't think it'd make a good first impression on my brothers if their new teacher showed up wearing jeans to dinner."

"Well, I was planning on you bringing me back in time to change, I don't like riding horses in a skirt."

"Fine, we may have to cut lunch a little short then."

"Why?"

"Because you'll need about an hour or two to get ready…" Adam kidded.

"Adam, my god, I'm going to dinner not meeting the Queen of England."

"Then how long will it take you?" He asked.

"Not long, but don't worry about that now, if we're gonna go then let's go."

"Alright, do you have Beauty saddled?"

"Ready and waiting." She answered.

"Then shall we."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

The lake was a crystal blue, it the shallow pools you could see the fish swimming around digging in the mud for food. Adam and Adrien sat in a boat in the middle of the lake. Both of them held a fishing pole, while a few more leaned up against the edge of the boat. Adrien sat across from Adam, she leaned back on the stern, her hair was pulled up; her hat was pulled over her eyes to ward away the sun. Adam was in his usual black clothing; he sat with his elbows on his knees. He stared at Adrien from under the brim of his hat. Why does she have to be so beautiful? He thought. Why can't I ever get my mind off of her? Even when I was with Abbie, I….

Abbie, he had not thought of her in a while. I wonder how she's doing now? He thought. It had only been a few months since she'd left with Nick. He still could not believe it, his best friend. It's probably better this way though, he thought as he leaned back and took a long look at Adrien, she's here now and it's probably better that we don't go back to our old ways. I just wish that maybe I could of…

"Adam, is something wrong?" Adrien broke his thoughts.

"No. Why?" He answered, suddenly not sure that he had only been thinking.

"You just seem unusually quiet."

"I was just thinking about something, nothing's wrong, really." He tried to give he an assuring look.

"Adam, I can tell something's wrong, I don't think I've ever seen you this fidgety."

"I was just thinking, really I'm fine." Adrien shot him a cynical look.

"Adam, you made me spill it yesterday, now it's your turn."

"Alright," He gave in knowing that she would not give in either, "maybe there are a few things on my mind."

"Don't you want to talk about it, _it'll make you feel better_." She said teased.

"Where have I heard that before?" He slyly smiled.

"So seriously, what's wrong?" She asked.

"I was just thinking."

"About what?" She was still smiling.

"Well, I almost made the same mistake that you did."

"Who was she?"

"Her name was Abbie Wilcox, she was newly widowed."

"What happened?"

"She fell in love with my best friend."

"Nick?"

"How did you know?" Adam almost fell from the boat in surprise.

" I met a Nick Erickson in Colorado right before I left, he'd just married a Abbie Wilcox that day, I met him at the telegraph office, they were sending a message to get her little girl's name changed to Erickson."

"I figured they'd get married right off the bat."

"Adam, I know I don't really have to know, but how did it happen?"

"After her husband was killed, I helped her with the ranch. I was still hurting from what happened between us, so I guess I thought that if I moved on then I'd get over it, and Abbie was there, we got engaged, Nick showed up at the ranch, he and I became very good friends. Well, Abbie and I were going to be married soon, so I decided that as a surprise I'd go to San Francisco and get her the most beautiful wedding dress made. I was gone for about 8 weeks; the dress took forever. Meanwhile Nick started helping Abbie, and I guess things just happened, I over heard them talking in the barn one day after I got back, Nick was planning to leave, I talked to Abbie about it later that day. I told her I could forgive her, but she didn't want to be forgiven. The next day she was gone." His voice was shaky and every once in a while it cracked. "I was never really in love with her, I was in love with the idea of being married, but I wanted to be married to you. There were a few times I thought of going back, and finding you, but not even a week after Abbie left, I got the invitation for your wedding and I gave up hope."

"I wish you would of come for me." Adrien said, hoping that that would comfort him.

"If only I'd of known that then."

"Well, don't think about it now. It's all over, we made our mistakes, just forget about it." She still was trying to comfort him.

"It's hard to forget it."

"Just don't forget the lessons you learned from it."

"Why do you always know the right thing to say?" Adam smiled, starting to feel lighter now that this load was off his chest.

"It's just a gift." Adrien replied.

"Or maybe it's just luck."

"Well, today you're the lucky one." Adrien stated.

"And why is that?" He asked.

"You're lucky you didn't take me out for steak, I'm a little rusty on roping."


	9. Chapter 8 : Going On

Before Adrien knew it, it was September, school had started, and Adrien had adjusted well to her new lifestyle. Adam would stop by often during the student's recess hour, and eat lunch with her. Their friendship was growing stronger, and it was only at night now that Adam thought of the way they were back east. They went out to dinner once every week, and every Saturday, Adam would come and they'd discuss poetry together or they'd talk about the novels they were currently reading, often they'd sit and drink coffee while Adrien graded papers, and every Sunday they'd ride down to the lake and back. Her students gave her a great amount of respect, and the overall grade point averages were already higher than the school had had in 10 years. The school board was already offering her a contract for two more years.

"I guess you're planning on sticking around for a while." Adam said as he read over the contract lying on her desk.

"If you'll notice I haven't signed it yet." She replied.

"Why not? It's good pay, and things are going exceptionally well for you here. What's the hold up?"

" I don't know; I'm just being hesitant for some reason."

"What reason do you have to be hesitant?" Adam asked.

"We don't have time for me to name them all."

"Really, what is it? Your father, the ranch?" He asked.

"Adam, think, I'm almost 20, and I'm doing a girl's job."

"You don't realize what you're handling, we've had women with 20 years of experience that couldn't last a day. I'll tell you now Adrien, we didn't think you'd last at first, but we contracted you for a year just so we'd have a steady teacher for once, but you've lasted a month, and with barely any problem. You're amazing, Adrien." She gave him a hard look. "That wasn't what was bothering you, was it?"

"No, but thanks for the compliments."

"Well, they're true, but really what's bothering you?"

"It's nothing really." Adam looked upon her with concern. He saw it now. She really had changed. He had never realized it before, but of course, it was all there. How could he have not seen it before? She was no longer the cheerful, intelligent, outgoing beauty that made most young men fall head over heels for her. She was almost the opposite. She was shy and sad. All at once, Adam began to miss the old Adrien. It hurt him to see her this way. He wished he could change her back, but how? Or was the glimmer in her eyes lost forever? He looked at her, but he did not know her anymore.

"Adrien, what can I do, how can I help?"

"It's nothing Adam, just let me be."

"Adrien, don't think that what you're doing is pointless. You don't know what it was like before you got here, but the rest of us know all to well. I don't know what you're doing but you need to continue, but if you don't see a joy in teaching then this isn't where you need to be."

"Adam, it's not that I don't love teaching, I know that this is a s far as I go. No one is going to court the schoolteacher, especially one this old. I have no place to go in life. I just hate knowing that at 20 I'm finished."

"Adrien, you aren't finished, do you realize what you've accomplished, not only here but in your hometown, and back east. Don't tell me that you think you're finished when there's so much more you can do. And if I were you, I wouldn't worry about anyone courting you when you have a school to run. And I don't see how you would expect anyone too since you never go into town without me, and half the time you just send me to get your supplies for you, men aren't just going to line up at your door waiting for someone they've barely even seen."

"I know, Adam, I know. It's just depressing to know that everyone else my age is already married and a baby on the way."

"Adrien, so what if everyone else is marrying off, I count it as a blessing not being married. I'm not tied to anyone or anything, I will admit it is lonely sometimes, but in a way I'm glad we didn't marry back then, I've got too much running around left to do, I'd make a horrible husband like this."

"But we'd travel together, Adam, when I loved you, I would have given the world for you, I would have followed you anywhere."

"Would you still?"

"If I still loved you, I would." She answered.

"Why don't you love me anymore?" He had to know.

"I can't love any one anymore."

"And why not?"

"It hurts too much." She turned away from him

"Love doesn't always hurt." Adam said, turning her back towards him.

"It does for me."

"Adrien, you confuse me, you want to move on in life, but you're afraid to love someone. How can you expect to have one without the other?"

"I don't know; I don't want to live through being left again."

"How do you know you'll be left?" he asked.

"I've been left before…twice before."

"Adrien, I didn't leave you, I was lied to, I wouldn't have left you if I'd of known what was really going on." Adam replied.

" I know that now, but it doesn't change how much it hurt then."

"Adrien, I'm sorry, you don't know how sorry I am, but do you realize how much it hurt to think that you had just been leading me on, and that you waited till the last minute to crush me." Adam admitted, "I thought you were heartless, but I couldn't hate you, I just couldn't hate you, no matter how much I wanted to. It hurt to love you…"

"Then why was it so hard to hate me?" She asked.

"Because when I remembered your smile, the sun on your hair, your easygoing laugh, your grace and beauty as you performed, the way you looked so noble as you sang Rebecca to sleep, and the light…that spark in…that spark in your eyes when we kissed. I couldn't hate that, it hurt to think of you, but I still could smile and think beyond the pain. But now, I remember those things and it hurts worse."

"Why? You know what really happened." Adrien asked, turning the tables.

"I do, but I can't stand to see you heartbroken, now I think of those things and I wish you could be like that again, you're right Adrien you have changed, but it's not for the better. I just wish I knew how to change you back." Adam pleaded.

"Adam, I'm sorry, you know I'm not usually like this, but I can't help it, this wasn't the life I wanted, but it's the one I'm stuck with, so I might as well sign that contract. It's not like I'm going any place else."

"No, don't," Adam replied, "I want the board to add something first."

"Like what?"

"Just a little clause."

"And what would this little clause say?"

"It's just that we can't penalize you if you decide that for some justifiable reason you'd like to leave."

"It's fine with me, I don't really care."

"You may have to give up the annual pay raise."

"That doesn't matter, I told you I didn't care." Adrien repeated.

"I know what you said, but are you happy now."

"That wasn't what I was getting at." Adrien lamented.

"Then what were you…?"

"I didn't think I'd have to spell it out, Adam, I'm almost 20, I'm not married, no one's courting me, or even trying to…"

"The reason no one's trying to is because you never give anyone a chance." Adam reminded her.

"I'm in town all the time, no one talks to me, not a single man has made an advance since I got here."

"That's because you go into town, drop off your supply order at the store, go strait to the telegraph office, pick up your mail, read it in the café, where you sit in the corner, and hide until you've written your replies to the letters, and figured out how to answer the telegrams, then you go back to the telegraph office, give them your replies, mail your letters, pick up your order, and go home. You don't give anyone a chance to speak to you."

Adam was right.

"I guess you're right, but I don't understand why this place never has anything social to do, that's where I usually meet people."

"Well, it's getting more into fall, so there'll be more stuff to do. Why do you want to meet someone so bad anyway, I thought you didn't know how to love someone anymore."

"I'm hoping someone can teach me." She told him.

"Like who?" Adam asked.

"I don't know, I'll find someone." She answered, sitting back down at her desk.

"But you aren't looking, do you expect someone to show up on your door step?"

"Maybe someone will."

"Maybe someone already has."

"You don't give up, do you?" She asked.

"I'll never give up, not when I can remember what we once had."

" Adam, things are different now, I've changed … we've changed."

"People change, Adrien, that's life, most people learn to work through each other's changes. That's how relationships last. How do you expect to have a life with anyone if you don't' expect them to change." Adam tried to convince her.

"When you see someone change overtime it's easier, but just suddenly finding out, it's different, it's hard to accept, you know that."

" I do now." Adrien replied, he was right again.

"But you learn to work through it, that's what people do, Adrien."

"And people also do some very horrible despicable things, that does nothing, but hurt the people they supposedly cared about."

"Not the people who truly care about you."

"I can't remember the last time someone who truly cared about me didn't hurt me."

"I never did." Adam reminded her.

" Yes, you did. You left me, you believed someone you knew hated you." Adrien retorted.

" I was too hurt to think, I didn't want to believe it, I'm sorry I did, I was wrong, I never meant to hurt you Adrien. I thought we've already gone through this."

"I'm sorry, Adam, I don't know where my head is today."

"It's alright, I'm beginning to understand." He took her hand in his.

"I'm sorry I never meant to bring all this back to light."

"It's alright." There was something in his voice that soothed her.

" You better go; it's almost time to resume class." She said feeling better.

"I know." He picked up the contract and put it in his inside jacket pocket. "I'll get this fixed for you."

"Remember, it was your idea, make sure they know that."

"I will." Adam headed for the door.

"Adam," Adrien called back.

"Yes, Adrien," He answered turning around.

"Can I ask you something?"

"You can ask me anything."

"Why do you stick around?"

"Why wouldn't I?" he countered.

"Well. I've put you through hell since I've gotten here, I've completely rejected you twice today."

"Adrien, I know where you're coming from, sometimes it's hard for me to understand, and sometimes my feelings cloud my thinking, I just have to put them behind me, I thought I had."

"You did, until I came here." She replied

"Let's not worry about it now."

"Alright." He opened the door to leave, but hesitated.

"Hey, Adrien, are you busy Thursday night?"

"No, why?"

"Just wondering. Hey, I'll meet you at your place, Thursday okay."

" I guess." She answered." See you then."

"Bye." He left the building, and rode away, while Adrien finished grading papers.

God, why does he have to be this way, she thought, he's still so wonderful, he acts like that morning in Boston never happened, Isn't that what I wished for, what I dreamed of? Wasn't it his face I was seeing every time I kissed Gabe? Of course it was. Then, why am I trying to drive him away now?


	10. Chapter 9 : Twenty Candles

"I guess it's just you and me tonight, Star." Adrien said to the cat as she milked Buttons, "Maybe it's better no one remembered."

Beauty nickered softly from her stall as to comfort her. Adrien sighed softly. It had been one of those days that she seemed to be the students energy supply. She poured milk into a bowl and set it towards the cat and backed away.

"Come on, Star, it's all right, I won't try to pet you." The cat cautiously came out from behind the stack of hay, and began to drink the milk. "It's funny how much you think you won't miss them until you're separated."

"Separated from who?" a voice asked from the barn door.

"Adam," Adrien jumped, "how long have you been standing there?"

"Not long, now, whom are you separated from?"

"It's nothing, it's just one of those days." She sighed again.

"No, it's that day."

"What do you mean?"

"Here this might make things better." From behind him, he pulled out a shingle with Beauty's name carved out of it and a rose.

"Oh, Adam, it's beautiful." She exclaimed as she reached out to hug him.

"Then why don't I hang it now?" he said as he began looking for a hammer.  
"That's fine with me." She answered. "Why are you here anyway?"

"I just thought that today would be a good day to come over."

"But what did you mean by 'that day'?"

"You know, it's just that day, and if we're asking questions, who do you miss so much?"

"No one special."

"Oh, ok, anyway, have you been in the house yet?"

"Not since I got home, why?"

"Come on." Adam ordered with a gleam in his eye, pulling her out of Beauty's stall and through the barn door. Waiting inside for her on the kitchen table was a small cake and a large chest with a bow on it. There were two lit candles shedding light into the room, but they did not have the same effect they usually had because it was still an hour until sunset. The scene nearly took Adrien's breath away.

"Adam, this is beautiful. I can't believe you…"

"Thank you, now why don't you change into one of your party gowns that I know you have up there somewhere?"

"Adam, how did you know I'd sent for those?" She asked surprised.

"I've known you too long. You may be as tomboyish as they come, but you can't help but be classy."

She started to head up the stairs.

"And fix your hair while you're up there too." He called behind him.

Adam turned to blow out the candles.

"Hey, wait." He called stopping her halfway up the stairs. She turned where she was.

"Why, what is it?" she answered.

"Why don't I take this up, and then you can make you're decision." Adam called, as he lifted the chest, and headed upstairs.

"Adam, what in the world have you been up to?"

"You'll see my dear. You'll see."

She smiled brightly and ran upstairs behind him.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

An hour later, Adrien came back down wearing a beautiful blue silk and taffeta dress. The sleeves were off the shoulder and there was lace with beads off the top of the bodice.

"I think I have a new favorite dress." Adam commented as her took her hand and escorted her to the dining room. He had been busy in that hour too. While Adrien was putting her hair into perfect spiral curls, Adam had changed into black pants, a white shirt with a string tie, and a grey jacket.

"You look handsome yourself." She replied blushing.

"It looks like I guessed correctly on size. I had that made especially for you." Adam said spinning her around.

"But how did you get this, this kind of gown takes at least a year to make."

Adam looked down for a moment.

"Adam, what is it?" she asked, reaching out and physically lifting his gaze back to her eyes.

" I have a small thing to confess."

"What?"

"That dress." He stopped.

"What about it?" Adrien coaxed.

"Well… I hope you don't get angry…but …that dress was supposed to be a wedding present."

"It was for me right."  
"Yes, of course, I had it made for you before we left Boston. It was packed when I left, and when I got home I just couldn't bring myself to get rid of it."

"Adam, that's so…"

"Wait there's more."

"When you came back I wanted to give it to you anyway, … but I wanted it to be special… so I was waiting for the right time to give it to you … and I haven't had that chance before now, so I decided that it'd be your birthday present, and I just saved it for that." He tried to read her face before he received a reply. "I guess I was kind of selfish wasn't I. I'm sorry, you probably think I'm just trying to get rid of that dress don't you."

"Adam, what you did was very sweet, and thoughtful. Just keeping this around is so much a gesture in itself. Seeing it must have been hard for you especially when you thought I'd deserted you. I'm sorry, I can't feel anything but lo…I mean… I feel like the luckiest girl on earth right now to have a man…to have a friend like you." Adam breathed a sigh of relief, as he pulled a chair out from the table for her, but instead of sitting down, Adrien hugged him as tightly as she could.

"Thank you." She began, "I felt so forgotten today. My family didn't send a thing, and I was sure you'd forgotten, but you…you made everything so…so perfect." Her voice cracked, it was getting hard for her to hold back the tears. She let go of him and sat down. Adam escaped to the kitchen, only to bring out a wonderful meal that he had cooked himself.

The night went on pleasantly. Adrien laughed and talked, as she never had since she came. It was almost as if they had never been separated. Adam looked at her and saw a new fire in her eyes, and felt as if he fell in love with her all over again. Her smile seemed to have rekindled a fire in his heart again. A fire that made him feel, once again, complete.

That night Adam lay in his bed at home, exhausted, but unable to sleep. The last words of the night played though his head over, and over, and over…

He could not help it he had to say it as he was leaving.

"I don't see how I could have ever left Boston without you."

"You left because you thought it was what I wanted. That's what is so wonderful about you. When you let yourself love, you love deeply, and you'll do anything she wants, as long as she's happy. You're a wonderful catch, Adam. Any woman would be a fool to let you go. You have a beautiful, wonderful heart. Don't ever forget that." And with that he kissed her on the cheek and they said goodnight."

My dear Adrieanna, he thought to himself as he went to sleep, I may have physically left once to make you happy, but in my heart, I never left you. And I swear on my grave, I'll never leave you, in any way, ever again.


	11. Chapter 10 : Walls

The chill of the October morning went straight through the shawl on Adrien's shoulders, and the breeze sneaking through her sleeves made the book she was reading very hard to concentrate on. Adam was supposed to have come the night before, but he had not. He was probably busy, she thought, he is going to be gone a long time. For three weeks to be exact.

"Why do I feel so bothered about this, " she said to herself aloud, "it's not like I'm his girl or anything like that. He has absolutely no obligation to ever see me."

She went back to reading, but the more she tried the more she realized it was not the chill ruining her concentration.

"Adrieanna Mycheala Cooper, get your head together." She yelled at herself when she thought she heard the sound of hooves near, but no matter how hard she tried not to, she looked up the drive to see if there was anyone coming. Yet, the sun coming straight in her eyes kept her from seeing. Now, without a doubt she heard a horse, but not coming from her driveway. She looked up just in time to see Adam and Sport jump the nearby fence.

Adrien's book dropped to the porch as she got up and ran down the steps to the figure before her, who had luckily dismounted just in time to for her to wrap her arms around him.

"Easy killer," he joked, " I don't think Pa'd appreciate it if I got my neck broke not even ten minutes after leaving."

"At least you wouldn't have to go." She answered, her tone, at least to Adam, shockingly wishful.

"And neither would those steers. Then you'd have two very unhappy school board members on your hands."

"I think I could make it up to at least one of them." Adrien coyly stated.

" I know you could."

She finally loosened her grip on him.

"Why didn't you come last night?" She asked.

"Hoss and Joe had me a little 'tied up' so to speak," Adam answered, with a blush and a smile.

"Oh, knowing those two I could only guess…Wait, I don't want to know."

" Don't worry I don't feel like embarrassing myself that much."

They began to walk towards the house.

"I thought you were leaving this morning, what happened"

"Actually, nothing happened. We already left."

"What?" she exclaimed.

"Everyone's already on their way. After we got out of sight of the house, I left, and told them I'd meet them in a couple hours."

"Adam, are you crazy!"

"No, I trust this foreman, he's been working for Pa for years."

"Then why do you have to go at all?" she asked, realizing how much she'd miss him.

"I do, there's a timber contract waiting for me in San Francisco too."

"Then you shouldn't have left the group. What if you don't catch up?"

"I had to leave them, I left the book I was reading here." He answered, trying to make it sound like a legitimate reason.

"Oh, you mean this one," she said, picking up the book that fell on the porch, and handing it to him.

"You've been reading it haven't you?"

Adrien smiled.

"Well, it was just sitting there, and I got a little bored, I thought I'd have it done by the next time you came by. I'm sorry; I couldn't help it. I'm almost finished."

Adam took the book from her and put it in his saddlebag.

"I guess you'll just have to wait until I get back won't you?" he said slightly perturbed, and turned to mount back up.

"Adam, wait, it's getting cold, where's your jacket?"

"I packed it, _mother_."

"Alright, but if you've got room there's something that I really want…I mean there's something you might…oh hell, just come here." She pulled him up the porch steps and through the front door, and to the linen closet in the hall. She pulled out a blue and purple blanket.

"Here, you might need this." She said handing it to Adam.

"Adrien, I might but I…"

"It's Rebecca's."

'Then I definitely couldn't."

"She'd want you too and you know it." Adrien persisted.

"Then can I just have it?"

"Of course." She answered. He walked back out the front door.

" I really better be going."

"Alright, I'll miss you."

"And I'll miss you." He hugged her tightly, taking a second to catch a whiff of her hair. "Behave yourself, okay."

"Okay." He let go of her, and as they did his lips slightly brushed hers, and they hesitated for a moment in each other's eyes.

"Be careful." She whispered.

"I will just for you." Adam answered fighting the urge to kiss her goodbye.

And he rode off, back over the fence to catch up with the herd.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

The weeks passed slowly for Adrien. She tried to keep herself busy with reading and teaching new material, but the nights were getting colder, colder than she'd ever known in Colorado, but not as bad as Boston. Reading on the porch there would be impossible by now. Every morning before leaving for the schoolhouse, she could not help but look into the distance and look to see him coming over the hill. She'd eat lunch outside in case he'd ride into the yard. She would also stay late, so she could hold off the disappointment of him not waiting on the porch for her return.

"Adrien, get a hold of yourself, you've never been this dependant on a man before," she'd say to herself every time she found herself in a daze missing him, or counting the days he'd been gone.

She had only once admitted that she needed a man, and it had been that man. The feelings she had haunted her in her sleep, but the pain that they had brought before haunted her more.

"I will get through this…alone. I don't need him. I don't need anyone…"

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Adam's nights out on the range were much different. He missed her, the memory of her before she had left Boston warmed his lonely nights on watch, but the sight of her the way she was now, pained him. She seemed caged in her pain. She had built a wall around her heart too. He had to find the key… no… he must find the key. She seemed to be destroying herself, denying what she really felt.

One night Adam was sitting by himself, away from the rest of the hands, unconsciously he began to play the song he wrote for her a few years before, just as he had every night. He remembered her singing it. He had loved her so much then. He cared for her so much now.

"Do I just care for her? No, I cared for Abbie. This is stronger; this is… this is love. I love her. I love her. I don't just love her. This is real, even more now than it was then. This is true love. I truly love her. But how will I ever get through to her."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Three weeks later, Adam rode up to the hitching post alone. After tying his horses to it, he dragged himself in the house. Besides being tremendously tired, he was dusty and sweaty. Stumbling into the house, his father met him at the door.

"Adam, I didn't expect you back tonight," he said surprised.

"I've got something to take care of."

"Oh, really, I trust everything went well then."

"Yeah, picture perfect. I had the money wired to your account at the bank."

"I already knew that, what do you have to do?"

"I just need to see someone." Adam answered.

"In town?" His father questioned.

"No."

"Who is it?"

"Someone." Adam was keeping his answers short.

"Is it Miss Cooper?"

"Maybe."

"It is." Ben concluded. "Why have you taken to her so much?"

"We've known each other a long time."

"I wouldn't call four months a long time."

"Then maybe four years would be."

"Four years…you knew her in college!" Ben could not believe that Adam had not mentioned it.

"I can't believe that you didn't put it together before, especially after the reaction I had when she got here."

"I guess I never thought of it."

"Guess not." Adam disappeared up the stairs, but reappeared in his dark blue robe and a towel over his shoulder.

"That isn't exactly proper attire for visiting a lady is it?" His father kidded.

"It isn't very proper to visit someone with three weeks of dust, mud and sweat on you is it?"

"Just remember," he said smiling, "before you go calling her that she has a three year contract, and she must live up to it."

"If I remember that we made that contract when we thought that we hired a man."

"And I guess she's not a man, but she did sign it." His father reminded him.

"I know, I know, don't worry, as of now there won't be any proposals."

"That's good to know, Son."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Not long afterward, he was tying Sport to the rail of Adrien's porch. Instead of his usual black attire, he had changed into his gray sport coat and white shirt. In his hurry to get there, he had left the string tie at home. He snuck up to the house and instead of knocking; he walked right inside. Adrien was in the kitchen washing dishes. Adam stood in the door a moment and gazed at her, she was so beautiful, even more so than in Boston, now she seemed to have a glow around her.

"Honey, I'm home." Adam whispered in her ear from behind her,

"Adam, your back!" she screamed, quickly turning and hugging him, wet hands, wet apron, and all.

"Did you miss me?" He asked smiling.

"Of course I did. I had absolutely no one to talk to," she answered pulling away from him. "I wish I'd have known you were going to be back so soon."

"I'm sorry."

"So how did everything go?" she asked, settling down, and returning to the dishes.

"Fine."

"When did you get back?"

"About an hour ago."

"And you didn't head straight to bed?"

"Nope."

"Tired?"

"Like you wouldn't believe."

"Then I should kick you out and make you go to bed." She concluded.

"Oh Master, please have mercy." He kidded.

"You're so full of it. Here," she handed him a towel, "make yourself useful."

They stood in the kitchen and silently finished the dishes. Adrien seemed to be even more closed off to Adam than before he left, he'd hoped that the time apart would give her time to remember how things used to be, but it seemed like she just had made sure that those feelings stayed buried, but he could tell that sometimes the glint in her eyes would return, so he knew that her feelings weren't dead. But she was the only one who could dig those up.

Adrien, my sweet beautiful Adrieanna, how do I ever get through to you? How can I get you to see that I love you more than I ever have before? How do I break through the wall? How do I make you realize that you love me again?


	12. Chapter 11 : Winter Wonderlands

As fall died and November passed, the weather grew colder, and so did Adrien. She felt the unhappiness all around her, in her students, in her home, and especially in Adam. It seemed that no matter how many times she told him that she did not want to. He would bring up things about the past, especially Boston, especially right around the time that Rebecca was born. Her sweet heart Rebecca was almost three years old, and she missed her dearly. She wished Adam would not mention her; it was hard enough to be apart from her without talking about her.

To Adam, Adrien seemed to be pushing him away; she did not make her feelings known to him anymore. This was very hard for him to accept, because she was the one who first got him to open up his heart, and sometimes, he just wanted to let it pour. The more Adrien pushed him away the more Adam was determined to bring her back. She was there; he knew it. The walls were thick, tall, strong, and hard to climb, but he was not going to give up. She was in there, somewhere, and she still loved him.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

December dragged on, and Adrien and Adam's relationship continued as it was. The snows had been pouring down since the end of November, so school had been suspended until it melted off. Adam came by every now and then to see if Adrien was doing all right and to see if she needed anything, and every once in a while, when Adrien wasn't stewing of cabin fever, Adam would stop by and they'd talk, and every once in a while eat supper together.

One night, a couple days before Christmas, Adam had stopped by to just see how she was doing. By the dark clouds looming in the distance, he could tell that there was a blizzard moving in soon. Adrien was inside preparing for a Christmas alone. Her family had sent her a few ornaments from home along with some simple presents that they had forbid her to open until Christmas morning. She was decorating the tree Adam had brought her when he arrived.

"Hey Adrien, did you notice the storm moving in?" he called from the door, trying to shake the snow from his clothes at the door.

"No, I haven't really looked outside lately."

"It looks like we're in for it. I brought you some wood in case you were running low."

"Oh, my hero," she said sarcastically.

"Well, if that's the way you want it, then I'll take it back."

"Fine."

"You know I'd never do that."

"I know." She answered, taking his coat and hanging it up for him.

"So have you gotten anything from your family yet?"

"Yes, it's under there." She pointed under the tree. "Do you want some coffee?"

"If you don't mind."

"It's no trouble. I have some made already." She started to head for the kitchen.

"Don't worry about it I know where it is, I can get it myself."

Adam brought the coffee pot in from the kitchen, along with two cups.

"Adrien, why don't you sit down for a minute and talk to me?"

"Why, what's going on?"

"I want to see what you think of something." He tried to reel her in.

"We're the only ones here, why not just spill it out."

"Adrien please, I really want you to think about this."

"Alright." She reluctantly sat down beside Adam on the settee. "What is it?"

"Listen, I haven't seen Rebecca since I left Boston, and you don't talk about her much so I don't even know how she's doing."

"So, what's the problem, you haven't been concerned before." She wanted to end the conversation quickly.

"I have been, but you don't like the subject brought up, so I try to keep my feelings at bay."

"I don't see why it's any of your business, you left her with me in Boston, you could have brought her with you."

"But I wouldn't do that to you and you know it, Adrien, and anyway it would have given everything away, and anyway, I thought you were coming with me."

"So you were fine with Gabe being an influence on her."

"I doubt he was ever much."

"How do you know?"

"Because you left her with your family the summer after I left, so I doubt Gabe remembered that she existed after a while."

"How did you find out?'

"I kept in touch with John."

"Then why didn't he ever tell me you were alive?" She asked.

"He probably didn't want to put you through any more heartache, by the time I wrote him, you were already with Jennings."

"So what was your point in bringing all this up?"

"Is there anyway we could bring her here?" He asked, hopefully.

"Why?"

"Because, I have a right to see her, to have a part in her life."

"What makes you think that?"

"That should be obvious." He was surprised at her hesitance.

"I see your point, but bringing her here isn't a good idea."

"Why not?" Adam asked.

"People already are talking about the fact that I live out here, alone. What do you think it would do to her to have to hear those rumors, and just think of the ones that would start if she showed up? I'm not putting her through that."

"But what about having her here just temporarily? Just as a vacation, a trip to visit her sister."

"I don't know. It might work, but it'd have to be in the summer, and someone else in my family would have to come, she's only three, I couldn't let her travel alone."

"I'd never expect you to." They sat silent for a moment. "Do you think she'd know who I am, you know, if she ever saw me again?"

"I don't know." Adrien wondered. "It'd depend on how far back her memory goes."

"Well, will you think about it? Please. I'd really like to see her. I miss her. Don't you?" Adam asked.

"Of course I do. Not a minute goes by that I don't think of her."

"Not a minute goes by that I don't remember you putting her down to sleep." Adam looked into her eyes, hoping she would remember too.

"Adam, do you ever let go?"

"Why would you ever want to let go? It's memories like those that keep me going. How could you ever let go?"

"Sometimes it just hurts a lot less if you don't remember."

"Well, Adrien, I don't want you to think about it, you need to cheer up. It's Christmas. Can you smile just once?" He kidded, deciding to change the subject.

Adrien gave him a half smile, obviously forcing it.

"Come on, I know you can do better than that."

Adam was now acting so silly that Adrien could not help but laugh.

"That's my girl." He said sitting back down. "Hey, since you're in such a good mood, why don't you go up and dig your chess set out."

"But if you beat me it'll completely ruin it."

"Don't worry, I'll give you an offer you can't refuse."

Adrien ran upstairs, but halfway up the stairs, she yelled, "Adam, you might want to take a look at this."

"Why? What is it?" He asked, surprised at the change in her tone.

"How long do you think it's going to take for that storm to move in?"

"It won't come in till tonight I bet."

"I think your wrong."

"Why?"

"Look out the window." She told him.

Adam rose and drew back the curtains.

"Oh my god, what happened?"

"I don't know." Adrien said joining him at a downstairs window.

"I've got to get home."

"You can't go out in a storm like this! There's no telling what could happen if you attempted it."

"But Pa, he'll worry."

"He knows you had enough time to get here, and he knows you were planning on spending quite a while with me, he thinks you're here, so stay here."

"Alright, but Sport's outside, I need to put him up for the night."

"I'll help you." Adrien offered.

"If you insist. But you better wrap up, I don't want to have to stay longer because you caught pneumonia, and I'm the only one willing to take care of you."

"Alright, get Sport, I'll meet you out there."

"Okay, don't take too long."

By the time they got Sport in and the horses fed there was already half a foot of snow on the ground. The night drug by slowly. For once, it was Adrien trying to get Adam to settle down and concentrate, he kept looking out the window, hoping to see something.

"Adam, your father knows you're smarter than to go out into a blizzard alone. He knows where you are, it's all right, stop worrying."

" I'm sorry I can't help it, what if he isn't thinking like that?" Adam asked.

"He's smarter than to go out into a storm like this too, he knows that if he did and got lost, his sons would be without a father. It'd be better to lose one Cartwright than two."

"I'd just rather that Cartwright to be me." Adam replied.

"We won't lose any Cartwrights, and I know it."

"I hope you're right.'

"I am. Why don't you try to settle down and get some sleep?"

"I'll try but I'm not making any promises." Adam gave in.

"I'm sure everything's fine, you know where the guest room is."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Adam lay in bed for hours waiting until he heard Adrien come upstairs and go to bed. He thought he heard her pause for a moment at his door, but she went ahead and passed. He tossed and turned the entire night, in and out of sleep, and his dreams refusing to let up. Outside it was pitch black, as black as Adrien's hair. He lay facing the wall fighting the temptation to look out the window, but every time he looked all he could see was black, and he knew tonight should have been a beautiful full moon. After what seemed like hours, he heard his door opened.

"Adam, are you asleep?"

He started to answer, but something kept him from it.

"I doubted you'd be awake," she continued, "but in a way I hope you're listening. I just can't say this to your face."

She paused, trying to keep her composure, but as she went on Adam could hear the tears in her voice.

"Adam, you know I never really stopped loving you, no matter how hard I tried…"

_Thank you, God. _He thought_._

"…And believe me, I tried. I cursed you up and down, but I could never get myself to believe it. I tried to replace you, but that didn't work either…"

_At least you didn't end up stuck in a life of misery._

"… It got to where I couldn't look at Rebecca anymore without missing you. So I sent her away, and I had another excuse for my heart to be broken…"

_I never knew it hurt that bad. It's my fault; I should have never listened to him._

"…But it was easier, to know that at least, I'd see her again, and concentrating on that was easier than thinking about the fact that I'd never see you again. I did what I had to. I hope you understand; it hurt to love you…"

_I wish I'd have known._

"… It hurt so much I wanted to die, all I could do was shut everyone out of my heart. But Adam, I'm scared to open back up, what if I lose you again…"

_Oh, Adrien, you won't lose me, I won't let it happen ever again, I promise…_

"…I don't know if I could get through if that ever happened. Adam, I want to love you, I really do…"

_Just let go, Adrien, you already do._

"…But it's too late, I can't love anymore. I can't let myself. I think I'm gone forever. I hope, that someday, you can forgive me."

She ran out of the room in tears, Adam heard her door shut down the hall. He let the shock of the moment move over him. He lay awake for a long moment as if her presence lingered in the room, and almost in a trance like state, got up and walked down the hall to the door of her bedroom. He could hear her sobs muffled in her pillow. He tried the knob, but he could not bring himself to go in. That might be worse that what she already was going through. His heart pounded so hard it almost knocked the air out his chest. He sat there by the door trying to decide what to do. Finally, as her sobs slowed, and finally stopped, he gained the courage to go in and tell her how he felt. He found that she had cried herself to sleep, she was so beautiful, even with red eyelids, and dried tears on her cheeks. He bent down and brushed the hair from her face, she stirred. Adam jumped back hoping he hadn't pulled her from what he hoped to be a wonderful dream world.

"It's never to late, my dear," he breathlessly whispered, "I love you, and if you look in your heart, you'll see, that you love me too. You do love me, I can see it, and you would not have stayed here if you didn't. Adrien, look in your heart, please, you haven't lost the key, you wouldn't have come here if you had. You can love again; you wouldn't still be here otherwise. Look to me, love, and just let go."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Adam guessed that at least four feet of snow fell over night; it was looking like a definite white Christmas. Adam's trek to the barn was not easy; he had to shovel his way to it, and then around the doors. Adrien woke up early, even though she had not slept much the night before. She fixed breakfast just the way she knew Adam liked it, and lit the candles that were on the table left over from her birthday three months before. Adam came in trying to keep his teeth from chattering.

"G…Good morning." He said, gritting his teeth.

"Good morning." Adrien answered, holding back a small giggle.

"What's with you?" He asked noticing her humor.

"Nothing." She said, handing him a cup of coffee, and returning to the kitchen.

Adam went to the living room to drink his coffee by the fire.

"You know, I never noticed the resilience of the seasoned cowhand before." Adrien called from the dining room as she sat the table.

"What do you mean, resilience?"

"I meant that I never noticed how callused you are to the elements before."

"Callused?"

"Yes."

"And what brought you to this sort of conclusion?" He asked.

"Well, just look at you this morning, you spend hours outside in the falling snow, and you come in without a shiver. Your teeth aren't even chattering."

Adam got closer to the fire…and further from the dining room.

"Actually, now that I think about it, I think it's more of an environment thing."

"Again, how did we come to this sort of conclusion?"

"I remember how you handled the winters we spent together in Boston." She answered.

"And what was so different about those?"

"Well, those winters, we were constantly in the cold, so naturally you'd think we'd get used to it right? Of course. But here it's steaming hot, and all of a sudden it's freezing, but you aren't even cold."

"And you're point is?"

"I was getting to that. You had the mentality of a student then, you're mind was set on learning, you couldn't mentally prepare yourself for the winter, now you have to so you can spend the long hours doing things like tending to the cattle, or digging a trench to the barn for a helpless damsel in distress." Adrien's jovial tone was becoming more and more obvious.

"If that's a hidden thank you, you're welcome."

Suddenly her arms were around his neck. "More coffee, hero?"

"Yes, and I'm glad you noticed my… mental strengths. You know it takes a lot of work to achieve that."

"It must, I've never been able to do it; I guess I just don't have the ability." She said returning with his cup refilled.

"You'd never believe, how much … uh…mental…uh…strength it takes to do the sort of …uh…things I have to …en…endure."

"I'm just simply in awe. Are you mentally prepared for breakfast, or do you need more time for that too." She asked, still kidding.

"I think I can manage."

"Want to lose the coat, hero?"

"I think I'll keep it a few more minutes."

"But if you aren't cold, why keep it on?"

"Because I am," He said looking at the floor.

"You're what?"

"Rather chilly."

"I knew you would be. Coffee's on the table."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

…"_Oh, she's so tiny it's had to imagine she's ours"_

"_I know, she's beautiful, she's has your eyes, I'm so happy she didn't end up with mine. I love you so much."_

"_I love you too."_

_They kissed. She leaned back onto her pillow, baby in her arms, her hair sweaty, and some beads still rolling from her forehead._

"_Let me see her." He said taking the bundle nervous, but gently into his arms. "My God, I don't believe it, I just don't believe it."_

_He sat down in the rocking chair, gazing over at his exhausted lover, who was now asleep. After placing the baby into the bassinet for the first time, he dropped to his knees by the bed and took her hand._

"_You never looked so beautiful. I love you. I never thought I'd ever love a person this much. God, I love you. I can't believe it. I'll always love you, and look what you've given me. How can I ever repay you for that? I promise, I'll give you everything you could ever want, and her too. You both are wrapped around my finger so tight, I'll never be able to leave to room without you. I'll never leave without you anyway. I love you, I'll always love you…both of you…"_

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

"Adrien, are you alright?" Adam asked quietly outside her bedroom door.

"Yes," she answered, rising from the bed, wiping tears from her eyes.

"Can I come in?"

"Hold on." She glanced in the mirror and touched up her hair before opening the door.

"What do you need?"

"I was just wondering where you were."

"I was just working on a letter home. Rebecca likes to have my letters read to her before she goes to sleep." She sat down at the desk and opened a tablet that had the beginnings of a letter on the first sheet.

"That's so sweet. I need to write her sometime soon, does she remember me at all?"

"You haven't spent much time with her lately, have you?"

"She went to live with everyone else, the summer you left. I couldn't handle seeing her, and it wasn't good for her to be with me the way I was taking things." She explained, still not being able to look him in the eye.

"You were probably wise, of course you've always made good decisions."

"Anyway," Adrien rushed to change the subject, "are you going to try to go home tonight?"

"I don't know, it's possible, but it'll be hard on Sport, so if you don't mind…can I stay another night?"

"You can do whatever you need to. I won't kick you out in the cold." She assured him.

"I know." He stepped out the door, and came back with a hammer and a few finishing nails.

"What are you doing?"

"I have a few things to finish up in here."

"Like what?"

"You'll see." He began driving the nails into the wall.

"What are you doing to my wall?"

"You'll see." He stepped outside the door, and returned with a large picture frame.

"Adam, what is that?" She asked.

"Just a little something I've kept that would look beautiful in here."

"So, first you take over the construction of my house and now you're taking over decoration too!"

"Hold your horses, dear." He hung the frame on the nails to reveal an oil painting of a man and woman embracing waist deep in a stream. The woman had long auburn hair she was dressed in a white peasant dress with a forest green bodice. Her head was laid on the man's bare chest, and his strong arms were tight around her, comforting her, looking down on her with love and passion. They were both completely soaked, and the water dripping from her face made it hard to tell if she was crying, but she was definitely upset. The scene almost looked real, but the again the perfection and the colors suggested that it was fantasy.

"Adam, where did you get that?" She asked, surprised.

"Then you remember it?"

"How could I forget, I painted that."

"Do you remember when?" He asked.

"You were swimming in the river, I surprised you."

"I never expected that anyone would be out there."

"And it was even worse when I found out that you were friends with John, and you were living in the same boarding house with us." She laughed, remembering their first encounter.

"I remember you wouldn't look me in the eye for weeks, and John didn't make things any easier, you were so innocent then, but you were beautiful, you've always been beautiful."

Adrien rose from the desk to gaze at the painting, she could hardly believe she was seeing what she was, she looked at Adam, and remembered the day they met, and then the day when that scene played out.

"You still haven't answered my question, where did you get it. That canvas got pulled off the frame just days after I finished it, and I couldn't find it since a little while after you left Boston."

"That's because I've had it." He answered.

"Why'd you take it?"

"I knew you wouldn't mind."

"You're right I wouldn't have."

"How'd you get it here, this hasn't been hidden here under my nose for all this time, has it?" She asked, hoping she had not been so blind.

"No, I have a confession, I've been home this afternoon."

"So I guess you're going home tonight."

"I believe so, yes."

"It's still hard to believe that you've had it all this time."

"I thought then that you were coming with me when I took it, I thought re-stretching the canvas and framing it would make a nice wedding present too." He offered. She embraced him.

"Adam, I'm sorry all that happened, then if I'd have known what was really going on, I would have followed you, I would have been here a year ago."

"I know; that's why I thought this would make a nice Christmas present."

"Oh, Adam, you're right I love it, you've always been full of good ideas." She hugged him tightly again.

"Merry Christmas, Adrien."

"Merry Christmas, Adam."


	13. Chapter 12 : A Friend's Offer

The snow melted and the winter moved on, the nights seemed to grow colder and colder. Adam's determination grew, as the love in his heart did also. There would be days that he would just end up in town about the time that school would be dismissed for the day. When this would happen, he would always stop by and see her, and then he'd stay long enough that he'd end up tying Sport to her buggy and driving her home. It actually got to the point that Adrien missed him on the few days he was not there.

"You really didn't have to do this," Adrien said trying to hide her grin. Adam had stopped by during the noon hour again, and brought her lunch, this too was becoming a habitual occurrence.

"I know, but I was in the area and just thought I'd stop by."

"And what's your excuse for being in town today?" Adrien asked.

"I needed to do some stuff at the bank for Pa."

"I thought you did that yesterday."

"I need to pick up an order of feed too."

"Really, after all that you picked up last week?" She said with a hint of sarcasm.

"Alright, alright...I was bored."

"So you've been bored almost every day for the past month."

"Yeah, that's about it." He admitted.

"And your father has absolutely nothing for you to take care of?"  
"Well, yes and no."

"You dump some of it on Hoss, don't you?"

"Not that much, but he'll get used to it, I think he realizes that it could be worse."

"Isn't he just so lucky to have a brother like you."

"I'm sure he has no clue how good he has it." They both laughed.

"Adrien, what are you doing on the 14th?" Adam asked; Adrien froze. She knew what the fourteenth was, the Sweetheart's dance. She had not danced at all since she'd come West. From what she gathered, the whole town usually showed up, so she hoped they would not miss her.

"Adrien, are you going to the dance?" He asked, looking suddenly concerned.

"I was planning on it." She lied, and looked away.

"What dress are you wearing?"

"I was thinking of getting one made for me," she lied again.

"What are you thinking about?"

"I'm going between red satin, or hunter green taffeta."

"Your second best colors."

"I don't want to wear my blue just yet, it's too fancy for something like this, and anyway, it's my first dance here, I need to keep a conservative impression, that dress is off the shoulders."

"Every party dress you've ever owned has been off the shoulders, why change now?" Adam argued.

"I probably won't, but I still want a red one."

"And you'll still be the belle of the ball."

"How do you know?"

"I don't, I'm just guessing, but I'm confident that I'll be guessing right."

"But why should I even go, I don't have a sweetheart to take me."

"You would if you looked." Adam reminded her, hoping she would see him.

"If they want my attention bad enough, they'll find me."

"Well, why don't you make a few prospects jealous, and go with me?"

"How would that help me?"  
"It'll say 'Man, she must be a catch if Adam Cartwright's dancing with her'"

"I don't think so, it'll be more like, 'and why would a girl like that lower her standards enough to dance with Adam Cartwright'." She kidded, but in Adam's mind she was right.

"I remember a time when you'd lower those standards enough every night to dance with me." He took another shot.

"I know, I remember too. Trust me I'll never make that mistake again." She joked, then sighed remembering the days back in Boston. They would go dancing almost every night. It didn't matter where, and it never mattered if they where overdressed or underdressed; it was just wonderful to feel Adam's arms around her, and some night's it seemed as if his smile was as warm as the sun itself. She longed to feel that way again.

"But won't you make that mistake just one more time?" Adam pleaded.

"I might, if someone asks me properly." She kidded sitting back down at her desk.

"Well, then." Adam answered falling down on his knees in front of her. "Mademoiselle Cooper," he began, taking her hand and kissing it lightly, "would you do me the great honor of letting me escort you to the Sweetheart's dance on the night of the fourteenth of February?"

"Adam, you're absolutely horrible." She laughed.

"I guess I've lost my touch." He said as he stood up bearing a slight grin.

"No, you haven't. I'll go. You've talked me into it."

"I thought you where going anyway?"

"Oh, that's right I was...see you were so charming you made me forget my previous plans."

"Alright, I'll buy it this time. We'll work out the details for the dance later. I'd better go."

"Will you be by before I leave?"

"I don't know, why?" He asked.

"Don't be, I have things to do in town."

"Why can't I come?"

"I need to go to the dress shop and talk to Leita about that taffeta."

"Don't worry, it may have been a long time, but I haven't forgotten what it's like to be at a seamstress's with you."

"I'm not that bad." Her defenses came up immediately.

"Alright...if you say so. And go with the satin, I like the way it looks on you better."

"If you insist, I'll see you later."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Adrien actually did see Leita after school, and luckily she had enough red satin to get started on what Adrien wanted, she would have to order more though. She didn't exactly go with red, it was more of a deep crimson, Adam seemed to like it more that just a primary red on her, and her eyes didn't seem to clash as much. Adam always loved her in reds; he said her eyes stood out so much then, he was always obsessed with her eyes. Of course, she remembered the days when he was obsessed with her, everything about her from her eyes, to her hair, to the sound of her voice to the way she moved. She remembered looking up sometimes, and finding him just staring at her. It was almost spooky, until he would lean over and kiss her. His kisses were so passionate; she still remembered those so vividly that she could still feel them, taste them on her lips. She had not felt her heart skip a beat like that until today when Adam asked her to the dance, and now thinking about him, it did it again.

Why are you doing this? Stop it, she thought, just stop it. You do not want to fall in love again. Remember what happened last time.

Her thoughts suddenly, out of nowhere went to Gabe. Everything had happened so suddenly, and it fell apart as suddenly as it began. It was strange. Now, the last year did not seem to hurt so badly, but still she did not want to fall in love. What would she do if she got hurt again? Could she live through this one? There was no Grace to run to this time; Adam was all she had. But despite her inhibitions, Adrien went to bed that night full of excitement; she' d at least have one night to relive it all. She's be able to waltz back into a happier time, when the world was a song, and hope was high, and love was blind, and life...life was worth living.

She closed her eyes and dreamed her dreams. Meanwhile, Adam laid in bed also, wide awake, thinking, hoping, praying.

Oh, God, please let this be it. Let this be the key to her heart, let her look into my eyes and see what's there, what's in my heart. Let her look at me and let her see herself in my dreams. Let her look at me and know no one will ever hurt her again. Oh, God let her see ... let her see ... love.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

"_I don't see why a woman as beautiful and intelligent as you should be denied a higher education." He said in disgust._

"_But you said it right there. Woman…it's my curse, I'd give anything to be able to learn like you do." _

_The two of them walked along the tree-lined road, the leaves in glorious reds and yellows as the New England breezes rustled them in the afternoon sun._

"_It's not easy though."_

"_I doubt it's easy, but you get to learn to do something, you get to learn a trade, make something of yourself."_

"_But what about you, you already have your trade, you're already making something of yourself."_

"_Dancers come and go, they never make anything of themselves truly; they may great for a little while, but in this profession you age quickly, retire quickly. We're never truly anything." She decided._

"_Of course you are. People remember who has a presence on stage. I will that's for sure."_

"_If you forget, I'll know that there's something wrong with you."_

"_And why is that?"_

"_I've never seen anyone with a right mind attend every performance of one dancer. If you forget any dancer in my company, then you've lost most memory of your time here." She laughed._

"_Actually, it's you I remember, everyone else just fades."_

"_I swear, if I didn't know better, I'd think you were trying to come on to me."_

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

"Adrien, it's me." Adam called from outside the front door. The night of the dance had come. Adrien had not slept a complete night since Adam invited her. She had picked up her dress, and it was even more beautiful than she originally imagined. Leita had added some velvet trim in some places, and they had ordered some shoes from San Francisco to match. Now, she was just adding the finishing touches to her hair, which was simply a twist and spiral curls, even with her hair put up and curled, it still ended at the middle of her back.

"Come on in, Adam." She called out the upstairs window in her room, seconds later, she heard her door open and shut, so she knew she was heard.

"Adrien, are you ready yet?" he called from the bottom of the stairs.

"I'll be right there," she called as she stepped into her shoes.

"Oh my God." He gasped under his breath, as she appeared at the top of the stairs.

"So, what do you think?" she asked, as she slowly came down the stairs.

"You look gorgeous. Adrien, I'm … you're …oh my God!"

"So I guess I look descent then?"

"Yes, oh, of course you do." He answered still breathless.

"Well, lets go." Adrien went for the door, but Adam did not move; he just stared at her, dumbstruck, "Adam, aren't you ready?"

"Wait, there's one thing missing."

"What is it?"

"Hold on, close your eyes." Adrien felt a cold light metal chain go around her neck.

"Alright, open them." He ordered. Adrien looked in the mirror to find a beautiful heart shaped ruby pendant, surrounded by the smallest diamonds.

"Adam, where did you get this?" She asked.

"It was my mother's, my father's kept it all this time."

"I couldn't ever wear this, Adam."

"You are, but I want it back at the end of the night."

"Oh, I couldn't ever take this, not something of hers, but it's gorgeous."

"And it's gorgeous on you. Let's go." He opened the door for her.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Upon arriving at the dance, it seemed as if all eyes were glued on her as they entered. Adrien became very self-conscious; it was a struggle to convince her to go out on the dance floor. But once they started dancing, her eyes lit up, her smile was back, she laughed, and when she laughed, it was just like they really were waltzing into their memories, and into their dreams.

Everyone commented on Adrien's dress, and no one seemed to mind that it was off her shoulders. From what Adam could see, she was truly the belle of the ball. He had to admit that he liked seeing the jealousy in other men's faces when they saw him dancing with her, he wished that he'd always be the one receiving the jealousy than giving and feeling it.

After dropping her off that night, Adam rode up to the lake to clear his mind. Even in the darkness, the water shone like diamonds.

It seemed like tonight that there were diamonds in Adrien's eyes, he thought, she was the most beautiful I'd ever seen her, well, maybe once she's been more beautiful. That night was perfect. Tonight was perfect too. Adrien seemed like she was in love with me again.

For a few fleeting hours, Adam's dreams came true. He held the world in his arms for just a little while.

He spent the rest of the night lying there in the back of the surrey, reminiscing on the night, and the nights a couple years before, and for a little while it seemed as if that year apart had never happened, they'd never been separated, he'd never had even met Abbie, Gabe had never interfered on the day he left, he wished the illusion could continue, and he could go home to that house, and fall asleep beside Adrien, and put his arms around his wife. Maybe he'd have to get up in the night, and rock their crying child to sleep, she'd wake him up a few hours later, because he's fallen asleep in the rocking chair.

In the back of his mind he knew, he could not go home tonight and have that, there were many more things to overcome until then, but then and there he decided that he wasn't going to give up. Time and time again, he'd cursed distance for keeping her away, he cursed time for passing, and he cursed hope for not letting him give up. In fact, there were times that he cursed hope for letting him continue to love her. He tried to curse love too, but he could not do it. For it was love that got him out of bed every morning; it was love that kept her on his mind; it was love that brought him to her nearly every day. How could he curse it? He could not especially since he knew that in the end, love would conquer all.


	14. Chapter 13 : Spring Fever

"_What are you dancing to?"_

"_It's nothing." She answered._

"_Well, there's got to be something, you're dancing, aren't you?"_

"_Yes, I am."_

"_Well, I haven't seen this one in any of your performances yet. What is it?"_

"_If you must know, I make up my own music, and even words sometimes."_

"_How intriguing, why?"_

"_Because I like to dance to words, I like to show them in my own way."_

"_How intriguing."_

"_Tell me. Why are you so fascinated with my art?" She asked. They were in the sitting on the porch of the house. The spring leaves were growing on the trees in a beautiful green._

"_I'm sorry, it's intriguing." He answered. "The way you move, the way you …you …how do you get up on your toes like that?"_

"_It's easy. Come here." She grabbed his hands and pulled him to his feet. "Just got up like this." She stood on her toes with ease; he tried._

"_I can't do this, I'm not talented enough." He concluded._

"_It's those boots, take them off." She ordered. He did and stood back up._

"_Now," she began again, "on your toes." He tried again, but lost his balance._

"_You can't just stay in one place at first." She told him. "You need some movement." She went up again, lifting her skirt to show her feet taking little steps in place. "See it helps your balance."_

"_Alright, let me try that." He said, trying yet again. He lost his balance and he fell back, reaching out for her. She fell back onto the loveseat with him. They both laughed. Their eyes met. Suddenly, they were drawn to each other. They moved closer together. Their lips met. _

_The kiss was soft. He pulled back quickly. _

"_I'm sorry." He confessed. She stood up and walked to the doorway._

"_I guess I was right about you, Mister Cartwright." She was very angry and turned to leave._

"_Wait." He called. "I'm sorry… I didn't mean to …Really, I like you, but…"_

"_But what?"_

"_But you're so…I've been so…you seem so…"_

"_Can you finish a sentence?"_

"_I'm sorry, sometimes you're so perfect you don't seem real. I'm sorry, I really shouldn't have done that."_

"_It's alright, I've actually been hoping you would, but it just shocked me when you apologized for it."_

"_Really, well then…" He leaned over and kissed her again, this time longer and harder. They kissed again and again, each one getting more passionate. She pulled back._

"_Would you like to go inside? Maybe up to… my room? " He asked, a mischievous glint in his eye._

"_Yes," she answered, "yes, I would."_

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

It was the beginning of March before the Chinook blew. But when it did, it didn't take long for the snow to melt off and fill the valley's streams. The winter had been easy so everyone one the Ponderosa was in high spirits, Adam especially. Of course he had every reason to be.

Something had happened to her at the Sweetheart's dance. The stars that fell in her eyes that night were yet to fade. It was if that rusty lock on her heart had finally let the key turn, and set her soul free. Suddenly, she was happy and talkative. She stayed in town more often, and spoke to people; it was more than just answering their questions she was carrying on conversations with people. It surprised Adam when he first heard people mention something that they talked to her about, but it was becoming an everyday occurrence. But after the surprise left his mind, he was left thinking; She's back, my Adrien's back. Ben was also becoming extremely impressed with not only her teaching ability, but also her personality. Now that she had opened up, she was more captivating than Adam ever remembered.

Adam was beginning to remember when they first met. She was beautiful and innocent all at the same time, and after she got over the embarrassment of their first encounter, he found that she also had a beautiful mind too. After that, the connection was almost immediate. Adam actually began to believe in true love, but he did not show how he felt for almost a year. He was afraid the age difference would become an issue. He was four years older and in college, and she was a teenager, and a rising star in her own right. It was summer before they admitted how they felt about each other, and they barely spent a moment apart until that fateful day, that now they'd sworn from speaking of ever again.

The two did not get much time together lately, but with the spring came much work, and Adrien understood. She had been there before, the herds needed to be rounded up and accounted for, and then there was Adrien's favorite, bronc busting. From what Adrien had herd around town, if Adam could not ride a horse out, then no one could. She was looking forward to watching Adam work, but she was looking forward to dancing with him more after all the work was done. Again, rumor around town was that this dance was no ordinary dance, but it was one of the biggest social affairs on the Comstock. Adrien contemplated having another dress made, but the last one took a little over a month's wages. Not that money mattered to Adrien, she could always send for some in her account at home, but she did not want to leave a paper trail for her father to follow. There was no way of getting out of this event either, Adam and Ben had both gone out of their way to invite her, and Adam had settled the apparel problem anyway. He had asked her to wear the blue dress he gave her. Adrien still wanted to save it for something else, but she obliged anyway.

The day of the busting had finally come; Adrien had made her way out to the Ponderosa along with some of the neighbors to watch the events of the day. When she got there the most of the hands were sitting on the fence of the corral waiting for the first horse to come out. Adam came out of the barn leading a young mare; he was not wearing his usual black, instead he had an off-white shirt, black jeans, and chaps. She could not take her eyes off him, he had such a handsome rough look, and that was something she had not seen much of from him.

Joe was the first to try to ride the mare, but he was effortlessly tossed to the ground. One of the hands tried next, but it was not long until he found himself on the ground also. A few more of the hands tried too, but the same happened. Adam stepped up, and gave it a try. The mare bucked with all she had, but Adam held on, digging in with his spurs, gritting his teeth. Finally, the mare quit bucking. Adam slowed her into a canter for a few minutes, and then had her led away to be unsaddled and put back in the barn.

The day went on mostly in the same way, but Adam was the only man who wasn't thrown. Then Hoss led out a beautiful, big, paint stallion and led it to Archie. Adam muttered under his breath, "I hope that mother gets tired before he rolls around to me."

Archie mounted, but was thrown in the first lunge. A few more men tried and fell to the same fate. Finally, Adam took a deep breath and got off the fence and mounted the horse. The stallion began bucking before he was even in the saddle. But Adam held his ground, but then the horse seemed to buck, twist and spin at in one motion, and Adam fell to the ground. The stallion trotted over to the fence and stopped, but no one moved and the horse's next challenger did not move to catch him, because Adam did not move.

All at once, everyone ran to him, but Adrien did not move. She had seen this happen to her brothers; it had happened to her, what was wrong with her now? Hoss picked him up and carried him into the house, realizing what was going on, she followed.

Hoss laid Adam down on the settee in the front room; he was limp as a rag doll.

"Adam, Adam, are you there?" Hoss calmly pleaded, "Wake up, Adam." Adam stirred.

"Adrie…" he muttered, breathlessly; eyes still closed.

"Alright everyone, he's fine, let's get back to work." Ben said, herding everyone back outside to finish, and then retreated to the kitchen to get his son something to drink.

"Adrien," Adam called, opening his eyes.

"Yes, Adam." She answered.

"I just wanted to say, it's nice waking up to you."

"Adam," she chastised, "that's not funny."

"Please, I have a headache." He said as he sat up.

"Serves you right." She countered, throwing a pillow at him.

"Hey, if you're not careful, I won't be able to dance tomorrow night."

"If you're going to make me dress up, and drag myself out here, you better dance with me or you will have one hell of a headache to deal with."

"And I'll feel it in the morning too, right?"

"You bet."

"Well, why don't I go sleep this off, so I won't be feeling this tomorrow too."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

"Well, Miss Cooper, it's nice to see you, and I must say you do look quite elegant tonight."

"Why, thank you, Mr. Lodge," she answered, "You've cleaned up rather nice yourself also."

"Oh, you flatter me too much, save a dance for me." And he was off to flirt with some of the more prominent miner's wives.

"He can be such a greasy snake sometimes." Adam commented behind her while opening a bottle of champagne.

"Adam, I never thought of you to be the kind to say those sort of things." Adrien kidded.

"Wouldn't you if a little sly serpent like that can nosing around trying to fill your date's dance card, before you even get a chance." He said with a smirk, and offered her a glass. "Champagne?"

"Thank you. Now, what makes you think I was your date?" she asked, taking the glass.

"I invited you and then I picked you up…" He took a sip from his glass.  
"… And you forgot that I was also asked here by your father." She also had a taste.

"But I asked first. I picked a good year didn't I?"

"Yes, you did, and just because you asked first doesn't mean that I'm your date."

"So are you saying that you're my father's date?" Adam asked.

"No, I'm no one's."

"Then I guess you can find your own way home. Shall we dance?"

"I don't know; I'll have to check my card."

"That's not funny, Adrien." They made there way out to the floor, and danced in silence. When the last note played, she left, saying, "I guess I have to find my way home now."

The rest of the night she stood in the corner, and flirted with a group of young cowhands, and that was only when she was not dancing with them. Adam stood in the opposite corner, nursing a brandy, and carrying on short conversations with whoever addressed him, and steaming. Occasionally, he would catch Adrieanna giving him a mischievous 'I know you're jealous and I don't care' look. But she was right he was jealous, and it didn't help that her dance partners seemed to be rubbing it in his face. The night moved slowly. Finally, Adam made his move.

"Adrien, may I have this dance?" he said rather sternly.

"Why, Mister Cartwright, I thought you'd never ask," and she got up to be led out to the dance floor.

"Miss Cooper, wait!" a young, freckled face cowhand pleaded, "You promised you'd dance with me, and I've been waitin' all night. You're dancin' with me." Adam stepped up to defend her, but Adrien took care of it herself.

"Well, maybe you should think about addressing me like a lady, and you just might get your dance." Giving her hand to Adam, they made their way out to the dance floor. The music began to a slow waltz.

"Now how am I supposed to find my own way home if you've got me out on the dance floor."

"Adrien, I was kidding and you know it."

"How am I supposed to know? I'm just a helpless, innocent girl depending on you the only person I know to trust, and there you go leaving me to defend myself, and I don't have a clue of what to do." She continued to put on the damsel in distress act.

"Helpless? Sure, Adrien, you're helpless," Adam kidded. The song ended and Adrien pulled away to go back to her congregates.

"No, Adrien." He spoke low, and softly.

"What?" she answered, questioning, worried.

"You're relentless. Just stay here."

She obliged, Adam pulled here close, and they danced cheek-to-cheek, heart to heart. Adrien closed her eyes, and let the music and the warmth of Adam's arms carry her.

Suddenly, she found that she and Adam near the door, which he opened and waltzed her outside without missing a single step.

"Adam, why are we leaving so early?" she asked surprised. Adam just kept dancing.

"We aren't leaving, dear. We're just dancing on a different floor." He waltzed her through the yard and into a clearing behind the barn. They stopped. Adam tipped Adrien's head up and looked down in to her eyes.

"My God, it's as if the stars never left them."

"Adam, what are you talking about?"

"Your eyes, they shine like jewels, even more than they used too."

"Adam…" He put his finger over her lips to quiet her. "Don't talk just let me look at you."

He pulled her close to him, looked into her eyes one more time, and then, slowly leaned down. Their lips met softly, Adrien moved to pull away.

"Adam, what are you doing?" she said surprised.

"It's called kissing, Adrien." he replied with a smile.

"Adam, I thought I told you…"

"Yes, you did, but the you told me something else too."

"When?"

"Christmas Eve. You came and knelt by my bed and poured your heart out to me."

"I thought you were asleep." He suddenly felt violated.

"I wasn't, but I didn't have the heart to stop you."

"You should have…"

"I know, but Adrien, I'm not going anywhere. You can let go. No one's here to take me from you."

She turned away to hide the tears threatening to fall.

"Adrien," he said, stepping behind her, and putting his arms around her, "I love you, I've always loved you from the first moment I ever laid eyes on you, and when I thought you didn't love me anymore, I wanted to die. The day you came here, it was like I was reborn. I finally felt like I'd come home, when you got here. You said yourself that you love me, you're just afraid to let me." He fell down on his knees. "Here I am, Adrie, put those terrible memories behind you. My arms are open, if you fall, I'll be here to catch you."

He stood and kissed her again. Time seemed to freeze. Adrien wanted to say no, we can't, I can't, and run, but she couldn't bring herself to do so. She wanted to pull himself from his embrace, but she could not pull away either.

Suddenly, the walls of fear and pain came crashing down. She felt herself getting closer to him, their embrace tightened around each other. She began kissing him back; their kisses became sweeter and longer.

"Adrien, do you love me?" he whispered.

"Yes, Adam, I do. I never stopped loving you." She replied softly.

"Oh, my Adrien," he pulled her even closer, "my sweet, sweet Adrieanna."

They sat down on the porch, and hugged, and talked until it was almost morning light. Nothing felt better than being in Adam's arms. With every touch, every kiss, her heart skipped a beat. She truly felt at home.

If this is love, she thought, let me fall.


	15. Chapter 14 : Fall of Dreams

The summer was rather difficult. Adrieanna left not long after school ended. It was a teary goodbye. She did not actually want to go, but she missed Rebecca.

"I'm sorry, Adam, but I feel like I'm choking without her."

By August, Adam knew what she'd been talking about all too well. He'd choked the whole summer; his heart dry and his lips parched waiting for the moisture of a kiss. She surprised him by coming home a few days early. She caught him off guard in the barn while he was brushing Beauty. Their eyes met, not a word needed be said. Their longing was displayed in kisses.

The nights began to get cooler as the beauty of fall began to creep into the mountains. School began again, and their simple routine began again. Adrien did have a few troublemakers, but Adam just saw it as another reason to stop by during the day. Adam always found reasons to be in town, he drove her to and from school most days. He always found little things to work on at her house too. Most Saturdays he spent with her, but Sundays never failed, he was always there to drive her to church and afterwards, they'd drive over to the footbridge and have a picnic lunch. Adrien began to recall the last year, and truly began to believe that she was dreaming, if not that then she must have been transported in to her own little world of happiness.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

The sun rose to a clear blue sky that morning. Adrien smelled bacon and biscuits cooking downstairs. She rose quickly and threw on a robe.

Oh, no…he didn't find me… I know no one at home would have told him… how dare he come into my home…how brazen… She stepped into the hall. …Oh my God, what does he want with me?

She ran downstairs, but not with out grabbing the knife that she kept in her dresser.

"Good morning dear." Adam said coming up behind her in the kitchen doorway.

"Adam!" she exclaimed surprised, hiding the knife behind her back, "What are you doing here?"

"I thought I'd surprise you. Happy birthday, dear."

She walked into the kitchen and leaned up against the cabinet.

"Adam, this is so sweet." She slipped the knife into the drawer behind her. She had forgotten for a moment what today was.

"I've become a better cook in the last couple years, haven't I?" He asked.

"That's good news, I don't ever have to wake up to something burning anymore."

"That's not funny."

"Did I sound like I was being funny?"

"Weren't you?" He asked again.

"I'll think about it after I have my coffee."

"Oh, yes, I forgot."

"What?"

"You aren't a morning person."

"I didn't think you'd forget that." She replied. He handed her a cup of coffee.

"I forgot that, but I didn't forget how beautiful you look in the morning."

"You're such a flatterer."

"But don't you love it?"

"Of course I do, but I love you more." She kissed him lightly.

"You know, I'd think you'd be even more beautiful with this." In front of her appeared a silver comb detailed with pearls and sapphires.

"Adam!" she exclaimed, "I …I …I don't know what to say!"

"Then say you love it."

"Oh, I do it's beautiful!"

"You've got to promise me one thing though."

"What?"

"That you'll save wearing that till tonight."

"Why?" She was rather confused.

"Because I want you to wear it with that dark blue off the shoulder dress that you used to wear in Boston, it'll look perfect."

"But Adam, I'll have to put my hair up to wear this and you like it down."

"I know that I have a preference, but sometimes I like to see that beautiful neck of yours," he said as he gave her a few pecks on the curve of her neck.

"Oh, Adam."

"Hurry up and eat breakfast before it gets cold. We have a lot to do today."

"What are we doing, darling?"

"Well, this morning, we're going to spend here."

"Adam, you're not expecting to…"

"No, I just want to spend some time looking into those beautiful blue eyes."

"And what would be coming after our staring contest?" she asked.

"How does lunch on the East hill sound?"

"It sounds wonderful."

"And then, we'll go for a nice long ride to the lake, and then we'll come back here, you'll get changed, and we'll go to town for dinner, and then we'll find someplace to dance the night away."

"Adam, you're a hopeless romantic, you know."

"And I enjoy every minute of it."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

A couple weeks later, Adam left to oversee the fall drives again. She went to the Ponderosa to see him off. It was a very tense goodbye. It was like Adam was afraid to touch her. He promised to be careful, and whispered in her ear that he loved her. He and his father settled a few last minute details. He kissed her discreetly on the cheek and then mounted up, and rode away. For three weeks, she agonized about what had transpired that morning. Was she losing him? Had she opened herself up only to be crushed again?

She wanted to run, but this time she could not, and this time there was not another Rebecca to bring them back together again.


	16. Chapter 15 : Man To Man

"Adrien, are you there? Open up, darling." Adam called from her front door. No answer. This was very unusual; she was usually home by now.

"Adrien, it's Adam, I'm home. Are you there?" He decided to look inside the barn; Beauty was there. He went back to the front door.

"Adrien, I know you're in there. What's wrong? Are you all right? Open up."

There was still no answer. The door was unlocked, so he went in.

"Adrien, darling, where are you?" No answer. He found her in the sitting room, looking out the windowsill.

"Adrien," he asked, "Why didn't you answer the door?"

"I didn't feel like talking to anyone." She answered as her voice cracked.

"Adrien, didn't you miss me?"

"Yes, I did."

"Then why didn't you want to talk to me?"

"I don't want to hurt myself anymore."

"Why, what's going on, what happened?"

"I'm losing you." She began to cry.

"Adrien, what in the world made you think that?"

"You didn't even kiss me before you left, you didn't hug me, you didn't hold me, you acted like you wanted to get away from me as soon as you could."

"Adrien, I'm sorry, I should have said something before." He said realizing the mistake he had made.

"So I'm right, you don't want me anymore." He took her in his arms.

"No, Adrien, you aren't right, I love you and I want you more than anything else in this world."

"Then what do you need to explain? Is there someone you love more?" She started to cry harder and push him away, but he just held on tighter.

"Oh, no, Adrien, I couldn't love anyone more than you." He started to kiss the tears away.

"Then what do you need to explain?"

"Oh, darling, I should have said something before." He held her close, "Your pain is all my fault."

"Adam, quit stalling, just please tell my whatever it is."

"Adrien, my father doesn't know about us."

"Why?" She asked, surprised.

"I just don't know how to tell him, you're …you're so different, and I…"

"You're ashamed of me."

"No, I'm not. My father adores you actually, I just know what he's going to say, and I don't want that look." He grimaced at the thought of his father's look.

"What look?" She asked.

"That look that says, you expect her to stay, to leave her family behind, to let a beautiful mind go to waste just to be with a lowly cattleman."

"So you've been lying to him all this time."

"Yes, I have."

"That's not right, Adam." She chastised.

"I know."

"You need to tell him, and soon."

"I will."

"Promise?"

"I promise." He kissed her on the forehead, and then again on the lips. "I love you, Adrien, don't you ever doubt that.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

The days got cold, and some snow fell. Adam made sure Adrien wanted for nothing. The Nevada sunrise was beautiful against the snowy mountains. Adrien woke up to it every morning thinking of Adam, and every night she'd go to sleep thinking of him. Their bond together was getting stronger with every second they spent together. There was only one source of conflict between them. Adam was still holding off on telling his father about them. Adrien was growing nervous of the explosion that would happen if he found out on his own.

"Adrien, don't worry, I'm going to, but I've just got to find the right words." He would always say, but she did not feel right, knowing that they were hiding.

"Adam, how can you hide something this wonderful?" She asked, as she returned another kiss.

"Trust me darling it's hard."

"Do you really think that he doesn't suspect a thing?"

"Do you think he does?"

"He's got too, you spend too much time with me just to be friends."

"That just makes this worse." Adam said, realizing that she was right.

"No think of it differently, it's easier, he'll understand, it won't be a total surprise."

"Adrien…" he argued.

"Tell him tonight, Adam. I mean it."

"And what will you do if I don't?"

"I'll refuse to see you."

"You're so cruel."

"I know, but remember you promised."

"I know I did."

"Tonight, Adam."

"I will." He untied Sport, and mounted.

"Do you want me to go with you?" She offered.

"No, I can do this alone."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Adam walked into his house and took one look around the room, as if it was the last time he would ever see it again.

"Adam, you're home a little earlier than usual." His father stated from behind his desk.

"Yeah, I know."

"Hoss took care of your chores for you already."

"I'll have to thank him in the morning, I suspect he's already in bed."

"Yes, he and Joe have to so they can take care of the responsibilities you've been neglecting." His father reminded him.

"I'm sorry, Pa, I know that you deserve an explanation for my behavior lately."

"I've been looking for you to give me one."

"Pa, really can I talk to you man to man."

"All right, sit down." Adam sat across from his father. Ben poured them both a brandy.

"Pa, I haven't been completely honest about my relationship with Adrie…I mean, Miss Cooper."

"I know that you spend any free time, and time that shouldn't be free with her."

"I know, Pa, as you know already, Miss Cooper and I were companions when I was attending college in Boston."

"Yes, if I remember correctly, she was one of your best friends." He said, happy that he had gotten that much information out of his son.

"Yes, she and I were close, even closer than that actually." He paused for a moment. "She was the girl I wanted to bring home, Pa. We were supposed to be married."

"Didn't you tell me that the girl you were supposed to bring home didn't leave because she was in love with someone else?"

"Yes, she was the girl."

"Then what happened there?"

"She was told shortly after I left that I was dead."

"So she went on with her new love?" Ben asked, beginning to think of Adrien as a trader.

"No, she was waiting for me to come for her, to help her take everything to the station."

"I'm sorry, Adam, I'm rather confused."

"There was a man who hated me, and knew how exactly to get to me, and that was taking Adrien from me, I found out that the note from Miss Cooper that I received that day, was written by him, he went so far as to tell her that I was dead, he took advantage of her in her grieve, and conned her into marriage, and he invited me to their wedding, just to torment me."

"Then what happened to her marriage?"

"She found him with another woman."

"The poor girl. She knows about your losses too, I presume." Ben's attitude toward her suddenly changed back, and suddenly he was compassionate towards her.

"Yes, she does."

"So you two have been getting through your ordeals together."

"Yes, but in the process, something else has happened."

"And what would that be?" His father asked, knowing what the answer was.

"The love that we once had, has I guess you can say, has rekindled."

"Well, Adam. I'm happy for you. When did this happen?"

"In April, at the dance we had here."

"So you two have been secretly courting for almost eight months."

"Well, she didn't know that you didn't know about us until I returned from the drive, and since then she's been urging me to tell you." Adam admitted.

"That's good of her."

"I'm sorry Pa, I never meant to lie to you."

"I forgive you, son, and I am happy for you."

"Thanks, Pa."

" Well, I can't say I'm surprised, and I can't say I didn't want it to happen, she's beautiful, smart, and apparently I was right in the fact that you two would be compatible, and all the time you've been spending together, you could have built her another house with one hand tied behind your back by now." Ben joked.

"I know Pa, I didn't say anything because of the reaction I was expecting."

"I'm glad you're moving on with your life, Adam. You were so disheartened when you returned, and then losing Abbie. We were all scared for you then, Adam, but since she's arrived, you've been yourself again, especially since April. I'm happy for you. I hope you two are happy together."

"We are, Pa, she's amazing." Adam replied.

"Well, why don't we go to bed now? You have to get up early in the morning and make up some chores."

"Don't worry, Pa, I will."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Now free of inhibitions, Adam invited Adrien to the Ponderosa for Christmas. There was a light snow the morning of Christmas Eve, leaving just enough on the ground to get the sled out. Adrien decided to wear her green dress. It was a simple velvet and satin, the off the shoulder style that Adam loved. She still wore the comb that Adam gave her. It still looked perfect because of her eyes.

Adam arrived precisely on time as usual. He came in and waited for her to descend at the bottom of the stairs.

"How do I look?" she asked from the top.

"Adrien, you never fail to amaze me."

"Adam, Are you ever going to run out of lines?"

"I hope I don't, you're so adorable when you blush."

"Adam!" she began to turn red again.

"You're beautiful Adrien, I just can't help it."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

"Miss Cooper, how long do you plan on staying in Virginia City?" Ben asked at dinner.

"I'm not sure actually, my presence here depends on how a few situations turn out." She squeezed Adam's hand under the table.

"Well, I hope you stay for a while." Adam chimed in.

"And why would you want me to stay?" Adrien asked.

"Well, it's obvious isn't it?" Adam asked.

"Why don't you elaborate?" She continued.

"Yes, son, why don't you." His father added.

"Well, Adrien, you're a great teacher, look at what you've done with the school. Joe actually wants to do his homework now." Joe started to blush.

"Yes, I've noticed." Adrien answered smiling at Joe.

"Well, I've noticed too." Ben added, "And I'm sure the change is just as dramatic with many other students."

"I'm sure glad we didn't have no homework when I was in school." Hoss bravely stated.

"Hoss, you did have homework last year" Adam chastised, "you just didn't do it."

"But I passed." Hoss reminded him.

"The only reason you passed is because she made you stay after and make it all up when she could have just held you back. Aren't you glad she did that?" It was Hoss's turn to blush. Adrien, Adam, and Ben began to laugh.

After dinner, they all sat around the fireplace, and exchanged gifts. Adam surprised Adrien with a pair of sapphire and diamond earrings to match the comb that she received for her birthday.

"Oh, Adam, it's gorgeous!" She exclaimed, she leaned over to kiss him, but hesitated. Adam sensed her apprehension and leaned over to kiss her on the cheek and whisper, "It's alright, they know." He took her hand and held it tight.

After that, Adam got out his guitar out and sang. It was the first time she had heard him since he left Boston. His warm, smooth, baritone voice seemed to almost melt her from inside out. She closed her eyes, and let the music carry her into her dreams of the future.

This was the first time since Adam left that she had been able to look into the future and smile. She was able to dream. She did not need memories to make her happy anymore. She wanted a future, that is, as long as it was a future with Adam in it.

She did not see Adam again until New Year's Eve, but they spent the night drinking champagne and dancing to their own silent music. Adam left that night just before sunrise. Adrien tried but could not go to sleep. The most horrible thought plagued her mind.

It's too wonderful, too perfect; something's bound to go wrong, terribly, terribly wrong.


	17. Chapter 16 : The Shadow On The Mountain

Winter turned to spring all to quickly. This time, Adrien and Adam attended the Sweetheart's dance as a couple. It was wonderful, but Adrien could not help but look over her shoulder. The telegrams she had begun to receive a few days after that did not help.

_Adrien, STOP_

_Ethan Cooper was seen in San FranciscoSTOP_

_I've made contact with your sistersSTOP_

_I'm still getting informationSTOP_

_I'm trying to close inSTOP_

_Sheriff Matthew Cooper_

_Colorado Springs, CO_

It caught her off guard, she had not thought about him in quite awhile. It's just like him to catch me off guard, and now he's in San Francisco. Rebecca was there with Jasmine and Gabrielle. He knew she was there. He wouldn't hurt her. How could he hurt her? She's so innocent. How could anyone hurt her? No, he'd never hurt her, or would he?

But she had to remember whom she was dealing with. People like that do not give in to innocence, much less logic.

"Oh, Lord, please, please, watch over my Becca." She prayed.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

_Adrien, STOP_

_A definite ID in San Francisco STOP_

_I've arranged for the girls to come homeSTOP_

_I think they'd be safer at homeSTOP_

_Sheriff Matthew Cooper_

_Colorado Springs, CO_

My guardian angel, she thought. Maybe he still doesn't know where I am, but what if he's following Rebecca, waiting for me to show up. Smart move, but you can't outsmart your own daughter. No matter how much I loathe you, I'm a part of you; I know your mind. You'll never be too clever for me.  
Adam sensed the tension, but he left well enough alone, he knew how Adrien was when she was stressed and trying to help would just make it worse. Of course, Adrien had not said anything about the messages. He hoped it was just something that was going on with her college bound students.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

_Adrien, STOP_

_He's been seen hereSTOP_

_I fear for Rebecca's safetySTOP_

_So, I decided to send her to youSTOP_

_Emma's accompanying herSTOP_

_She'll be there in about five daysSTOP_

_Sheriff Matthew Cooper_

_Colorado Springs, CO_

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

"Adrien, what is it? I'm in the middle of an important business meeting." Adam irately whispered.

"Read this."

He jerked the paper from her hand.

"Adam, what do we do?" she asked, desperately.

"This isn't the conversation to have in the middle of a saloon."

They stepped outside on to the walk.

"What do you mean 'what do we do'? Everyone thinks that she's…" He looked rather shocked.

"No, everyone here thinks that."

"You mean that everyone in Colorado…"

"I never worried about it, I haven't been there so no one can ask questions."

"Does she …"

"Of course she does. I wouldn't lie to my own…"

"I know, but it could have waited."

" I can't do that."

"I know, but it would be more convenient if you had. Why can't you tell Matthew not to send her?"

"No, she's on her way already and right now, I want her with me."

"Well, we'll just play it by ear for a while." He turned to go back into the bar.

"Adam" she said pretentiously.

"What."

"There's another question."

"What is it?"

"What are we going to do while I'm at school?"

"I'll take care of her."

"Alright. Thanks Adam."

"I've got to go." He went back in the door, and came back out.

"Hey, Adrie,"

"Yes."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Rebecca arrived a few days later. The stage came during school hours so Adrien was not able to meet it, but Adam was there. Matthew's wife, Emma, came with her, but went with the stage to San Francisco.

Adam and Rebecca connected almost immediately. It was like they belonged together.

"She's grown so much since I saw her last time. I've missed so much." Adam declared

"Are you kidding, she's grown since August." Adrien stated.

"She's so adorable. You both have the same eyes."

"I wonder why" she said coyly.

"Really, she is a beautiful child."

"She is, isn't she?"

"I love you, Adrien."

"I love you too, Adam." He wrapped his arms around her.

"Oh, Adam, I got this today." She handed him another telegraph from Matthew.

_Adrien,STOP_

_I have Ethan Cooper in custodySTOP_

_Charges have been filedSTOP_

_Send Rebecca home whenever you likeSTOP_

_Just send for Emma to pick her upSTOP_

_We'd all like to see her home _

_The end is nearSTOP_

_I'll keep you postedSTOP_

_Sheriff Matthew Cooper_

_Colorado Springs, Colorado_

"I hope he's right, Adrien." Adam said handing it back.

"I hope so too. When should we send her home?" she asked.

"Let's wait a little while, I never realized how must I missed her until she was here again." He hugged her tightly.

"Does that mean what I think it does?" Adrien asked.

"Yes, it does, and she knows everything, well, at least all her little mind can handle."

"She's brighter than most children her age."

"I've noticed." Adam replied.

"I'm glad you told her."

"Well, she knew your side, she might as well know mine."

"How'd she react?"

"She was overjoyed. I guess." Adam answered.

"Well, how does it feel?"

"I like it."

"You really love her don't you?" Adrien asked.

"I did the minute she was born, I've just missed her so much."

"I love you, Adam."

"I love you too."

"How would you feel about not sending her home?" He asked.

"I don't know, I think Matthew and Emma would have my hide if I didn't let her go back for a visit, but I don't see why we all couldn't go together."

"I like that idea." Adam added.

"I'm so glad this is over."

"Me too, Adrie, me too."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

It had been a long day at school, Adrien missed Rebecca; it'd been a couple weeks since she arrived, and even though she was as close as the Ponderosa, she missed her. It was heart breaking for her to be so close to her and be away from her, but she had felt like she had to check and see if Matthew had sent anything. She saw something familiar through the window. Adrien stopped dead in her tracks. No, that couldn't have been who I thought it was, she thought. She looked again; he wasn't there. She began to shiver.

"Miss Cooper, are you alright?" Adrien looked up to find Mr. Welch in front of her.

Oh, my God, he's here, he's here. He found me. He's outsmarted me. What am I going to do?

"Yes, I'm fine, thank you, Mr. Welch," she answered trying to stay calm.

"You, sure ma'm, you's as white as a sheet?"

"Well, maybe it wouldn't hurt to sit down." He grabbed he arm and helped her to a nearby bench.

"Do you need a drink or something, Miss?"

"No, just give me a minute." She took a minute to breathe. "Mr. Welch, have seen Adam Cartwright in town by chance today."

"Yes'm, I did see Mr. Adam at the bank this mornin'"

"Do you think he'd still be in town?"

"I don't know, Miss Cooper, but I'll go look if you want me to."

"Yes, I'd like you to, tell him to meet me in the hotel lobby."

"I will, Miss, I'll look in the Silver Dollar first; he always stops there for a beer."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

"Oh, Adam, I'm so glad Welch found you." she exclaimed. She could tell by Adam's face he was worried.

"Adrien, what is it? What's wrong?"

Welch wasn't lying, he thought, she looks like a ghost.

"Where's Becca?" she asked, her panic was obvious.

"She's with Leita, I took her to get a dress made for the doll I bought her last week."

"Who's with her?"

"Hoss is. What's going on?"

"He's here." Adrian answered.

"Adrien, who? Who's here?" He sounded urgent.

"My father, I want Becca. I want her with me. I don't want her out of my sight. Adam, I'm so scared." She burst into tears.

"It's alright, I'm not going to let anything happen to you." He held her close.

"Did you message Matthew?" He asked

"No, I was going to, but I guess I froze, Welch was in the office too."

"I'm going to go send Matthew a message, and see what's going on."

"No, Adam, don't leave me. I'm scared."

"Actually, I have a better idea."

"What?"

"I'm going to have Roy come out to the house, and we're going to talk to him, and see what can be done."

"Do we really have to do that?"

"Adrien, I think it's in your best interest, and I think Roy would want you to know if there was a wanted criminal around."

"God, just when I thought this was over."

"It'll be alright, Adrien. I'm going to talk to Roy, you go to Leita's, I'll watch and make sure you get there alright, you'll be with Hoss, so you'll be fine. Go with him to get Beauty, the three of you go to the Ponderosa and wait for me, I'm going to tell Roy to come out to the house, and send a telegram to Matthew."

"What would I do with out you?"

"Don't think like that. You'll always have me." They went out the door. Adam nudged her to go across the street.

"It's alright, I won't let anything happen to you." She started to go.

"Adrien." She looked back. "I love you.'

"I love you too."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

"Why wasn't I informed of this before?" Sheriff Coffee was livid. "I need to know when dangerous folk like this are headed this way." The four of them, Ben, Coffee, Adam, and Adrien, sat at Ben's desk

"We were going to, but he didn't know where Adrien was, and he was captured a few weeks ago, we thought it was over," Adam explained.

"I'm surprised Matthew didn't let us know that he escaped," Adrien commented, she stood up and began to pace the room.

"He's probably so involved in finding him that he hasn't thought about it." Adam assured her.

"Well, what do we do until then?" this time Adam's question was directed at Coffee, "we can't just wait until he does something to Adrien, or Rebecca to catch him."

"I know." Coffee answered in deep thought.

"Why don't you and Rebecca stay here?" Ben suggested.

"That's not a bad idea. Miss Cooper, you'll do that." Coffee ordered.

"And I don't want you in town, so as president of the school board, I'm suspending you until further notice." Ben added.

"So I'm being forced out of my own home, and losing my job!" she exclaimed, "I can't believe this is happening." She fell back down into her chair. Adam went quickly to her side. "I'd rather him kill me."

"Adrien, don't say that, you don't mean it." Adam's voice was soft and low. He held her close to him. "You know you don't mean it."

"It's for your own protection, Miss Cooper." Coffee assured her. "As soon as we find him this will be over."

"Well, since I'm not teaching, what are we going to do about the school?" Adrien asked.

"We'll have to close it." Ben answered.

"No, we can't close early, they'll just be behind next year." Adrien answered.

"She's right, Pa." Adam backed her up.

"Well, what will we do?" Ben was clueless.

"We could get a substitute." Adam suggested.

"That's a good idea, Adam!" Adrien supported.

"But who would we get to teach?" Ben asked, knowing the education that most of the townspeople had.

"Why not the only person in town who's been to college in this town?" Adrien suggested. "Adam, couldn't you take over for a little while?"

"Adrien, I'd rather be helping to find your father."

She gave him a look of disappointment.

"But if you want me to," he continued, "I'll think about it."

"Well, Ben, I better get a posse together." Coffee said, picking up his hat, "Miss Cooper, don't worry, we'll find him before anything happens."

"Thank you, Sheriff." She answered.

"Ben, Adam." He shook their hands and left the house.

"Adrien, I want you to sleep in one of the guest rooms upstairs." Adam declared.

"But why not the one downstairs that's usually used?" his father asked.

"Because it has a door that goes outside the house, you can go in and out without anyone inside knowing that you are. If Cooper's after her, I don't want to help him any."

"That's a good idea. Why don't you two go upstairs and get two rooms ready." Ben suggested.

They headed upstairs. Adam went into the room across the hall from his.

"I think you can stay in here." He decided aloud.

"But, Adam," Adrien realized, " this is so close to your room. Are you sure this is wise?"

"I want you close so I can here anyone going in or out. Rebecca will stay in the room down by the hall. She naps there during the day, there's no point in moving her."

"Alright, Adam." Adrien agreed.

Adam pulled her close to him.

"Adrien, it's all right, he'll never hurt you. I promised didn't I?" He asked.

"Adam, I don't want to think about it right now." She pulled away. "I have something else on my mind."

"What is it dear?" He asked, the concern showing in his face.

"I want to keep teaching, Adam, if I stay here and do nothing I'll…I'll…I'll go insane."

Adam smiled and tried to keep from laughing, she was adorable when she was angry, but he knew just how serious she was.

"Adrien, I can't let you stay in town alone. There's no telling what would happen there."

"Well, maybe if I at least knew what was going on it wouldn't be so bad," she reasoned, "If you took over for me…"

"No, Adrien, I need to help the rest of the men…"

"Adam, please," she begged, "I need you here with me too." She looked out the window, into the sunset. Suddenly, she turned as white as a sheet, whiter than she had that afternoon. "Oh, my god!"

"What is it, Adrien, what is it?" Adam ran to her, and looked out the window, hoping to find what she was seeing.

"The shadow…the shadow has come…" She continued, almost in a trance-like state.

"What shadow, Adrien, what are you talking about?" Adam did not understand.

As she spoke the room began to seem colder and colder, chills began to go up Adam's spine.

"The shadow … the shadow on … on the mountain … it has come … it has returned … our doom is near … the shadow on the mountain is come."


	18. Chapter 17 : For Rebecca's Sake

"Adrien," Adam spun her around and shook her, her eyes seemed to look through him, and he looked at her in surprise, "what does that mean?"

"It's a sign." She became herself again as she spoke, "It is the most feared thing…that a person can ever see." She turned away from him, letting her eyes become fixed on the mountains.

"What do you mean the shadow on the mountain?"

"The sun is setting, look at the mountains." She motioned to the window; Adam looked and saw. "When the shadow of the great raven comes on the mountain there is great evil in our midst, it is the end of an age, the end of a time. I have only seen this shadow once before, and the Cheyenne's medicine man pointed it out to me when Eliza was killed. I've never forgotten it."

Adam suddenly knew what she meant, and realized where her fear came from.

"Adrien, you're right," he turned to leave, "I'm needed more here by you and the school. I'll stay and teach for you. I'll go and get some of your things from your house, and please, stay away from the window."

She sat down on the bed without a word without a word. Adam went back and kissed her on the cheek.

"If you overcame the shadow once, you can do it again," Adam continued as he went out the door, "and this time, you're not alone."

He left and went downstairs. Hoss was playing with Rebecca downstairs. He looked at her and smiled. She was so innocent and pure; she did not have a clue how much danger that they were all in. She truly was a beautiful child.

Adam pulled on his jacket; the spring evenings were still cool. He walked over to his father at his desk and sat down for a moment.

"Are you going to get some of Adrien and Rebecca's things?" He asked.

"Yes, I am, just a…" He leaned in close to his father, "watch Adrien, this whole thing has gotten her really upset."

"Alright, I'll keep her occupied." Ben answered. Adam rose and headed for the door.

"…and another thing," He turned back and looked his father straight in the eye, "Don't let her look out the window until dark."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

"Adam, I like the results you've been having, but I'm starting to get nervous." Adrien commented looking at some of the tests that Adam was grading at the end of the day.

"What would you be getting nervous about?" Adam smirked, but didn't look up from his project.

"I think if you keep doing this well, then my job could be in danger." She answered. Hop Sing came into the dining room and sat some cookies out on the table in front of him.

Adam reached for one, but Hop sing was quicker and slapped him on the hand.

"Bad, Mista' Adam, bad!" He yelled.

"What was that for?" Adam asked rubbing his hand.

"Hop Sing make cookies for sweet litta' Miss Becky, not big greedy Mista' Adam!"

"You know, Hop Sing, Hoss is gonna get real jealous if he finds out that you're making his favorite cookies for Rebecca."

"Hop Sing no care." And with that he picked up the plate and went back in the kitchen.

"I heard that Irish tempers were bad," Adam commented, "and I've seen your Italian at its worst, but nothing, and I mean nothing has ever prepared me for that Chinese temper, there's some days that I won't go in the kitchen for fear of being shot."

Adrien laughed.

"You're so cute when you laugh you know that." Adam said looking at her.

"Oh, Adam you're such a kidder."

"I'm not kidding, and I've been meaning to ask you something."

"Why don't you ask me now?" She asked.

"When are you going to teach Rebecca to dance?"

"Adam, I don't want her to have anything to do with dancing."

"Why not darling?" Adam asked, surprised at her decision.

"With as much heart break as dancing brought me, I don't her to have any part of it." Adrien answered, "I couldn't go on with it after everything happened."

"But how do you know that something like that will happen to her?"

"You fell in love with me when you saw me dance didn't you?"

"Yes, that's one thing that drew me to you." He answered.

"And it got me into a lot of trouble didn't it?"

"Yes, but you got through it, you recovered."

"Adam, can't we save this till later, I have enough things on my mind."

"I know darling. I know." He reached over and took her hand.

"Are you sure that they haven't found anything?" She asked.

"No, dear, I'm sorry." He gathered up the papers and set them aside. "Something will come up soon."

"Adam, I don't like this, it's been two weeks, he's planning something. I can feel it."

"Don't worry, Adrien." He looked her straight in the eye. "You need to relax, dear."

"I can't …not when everything's like this."

"You're going to. Really, I'm going to take Rebecca out to the house, and we're going to check on things." As he spoke, he stood up and then gave Adrien his hand and helped her from her seat. "You are going to take this," he handed her a book, "You're going to go upstairs, and I'm going to have Hop Sing bring you a cup of tea. And you're going to lie up there, and read and drink your tea, until we come back, and then me and you and Becca, are for a ride all together, just the three of us, okay?"

Adrien smiled.

"Okay." She went across the room and headed upstairs. "I'll send Becca down in a minute."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Adam and Rebecca arrived at the house.

"Rebecca, stay here, I'll be back in a moment."

"But I want to see the kitties." She protested, folding her arms over her doll, her shoulders sagging, and her bottom lip in a pout.

"You can go to the barn and see the kittens, but I want you to go and be right back."

"Okay." Her smile returned, and she went running for the barn. Adam went inside the house and upstairs, going into her room, he spotted her painting above her bed.

This might make Adrien feel more at home, Adam thought as he took it off the wall. He stood there looking at it for a moment; he spotted her bottle of perfume on the vanity. He picked it up and sprayed it once. The scent filled the room. Adam was lost in thought, then suddenly…

"Help, help, somebody, help."

Adam jumped, that was Rebecca screaming, he ran down the stairs and out of the house. She was being carried, kicking and screaming, by a man in a dark coat, he had his hat over his eyes.

"Help, Help." She pleaded seeing Adam.

"Stop right there." Adam shouted at the man, drawing his gun, "I'll shoot."

But the man didn't care; Adam drew and fired at the horse, but missed. He ran and got in the carriage, he fired at them again, he immediately put the horse into a dead run, but it was still too slow, and he lost them.

"Rebecca, Rebecca." he called. He tracked the horse until nightfall, but the dusk and the tears in his eyes faded the trail, and he had to turn back.

His steps were heavy, almost ringing the news with his every resonant step. He seemed to fall through the door when he came in.

"Adam, are you alright?" his father asked. Adrien ran to his side, as he fell down on his knees. Seeing the tears in his eyes she almost knew before she asked.

"Where's Rebecca?" She asked falling to her knees beside him.

"I'm so sorry, Adrien," he whispered in answer, "I'm so sorry."

"Hoss, ride into town and et the Sheriff." His father ordered in the background, Hoss left almost in a run.

"It was him, wasn't it, Adam?" Adrien asked, her voice cracking; Adam nodded. "He was waiting, wasn't he?" Adam nodded again.

Adrien seemed to almost collapse in herself. The only sound in the room was the sound of Adrien gasping for air between her silent sobs. Adam slowly rose from the floor, picked her up and carried her to her room.

A little while later, Hoss returned with Sheriff Coffee. Adrien was brought downstairs and sat beside Adam, but the had to hold each other up.

"I don't know what more we can do." Coffee said, "There's already a posse looking for him, and we haven't seen hide nor hair of him."

Adam leaned forward, put his head in his hands, and gazed down at the floor.

"But Adam was tracking him until nightfall." Ben added, "You have something to follow now."

"Yes, but by morning, that trail might as well be cold." Coffee answered.

"But it's a chance." Ben argued.

"So you're not going to do anything?" Adam asked. All eyes were on him now. He had not looked up, as they looked another tear fell onto the floor to mingle with the others that had fallen there.

"You're going to stand there and tell me she's gone." He looked up as he continued, "You're going to tell me, when we came to you for help, that that girl, that sweet innocent girl, is gone," He rose to his feet as the rage rose within him. "and you're not going to do a single damn thing." He was in Coffee's face now. "My Rebecca has been taken by the common criminal that you have been half assed looking for." He picked up Coffee by the shirt. "Do you hear me? That's my daughter he's got, and I don't care what I have to do, she's going to be safely in her bed before you ever sleep again."

Everyone sat there stunned, Adrien collapsed into the floor again. Her head in her hands, crying. Adam went to her scooped her up in to his arms.

"I'm sorry dear, I got out of control. I'm so, so sorry." He whispered in her ear, but everyone else could still here. "I'm taking her back upstairs, she shouldn't have to go through this." And he carried her back to her room.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Adrien was so up set that it made her sick. Adam sat through the night with her. She was very angry with him; he had done it. He had destroyed her, now she would be the one that had to leave. She and Rebecca would have to pack their things and … but she could not do that Rebecca was gone. Every time that thought went through her mind another wave of nausea came over her. Finally, she cried herself to sleep.

Adam sat in a chair in the corner of the room, his head in his hands, blaming himself for every thing. He would not only put Rebecca in danger, but he had blown their secret. Adrien seemed so far away now, further than ever before.

Have I lost her? He thought, Oh God, don't let me lose her.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

There was a knock at the door. Adam was jerked from the midst of his thoughts.

"Adam, can I speak with you?" His father asked.

"Yes, just a second." Adam answered. He got up, kissed Adrien on the cheek and stepped out side the room. "What is it, Pa?"

"We need to talk, Adam. Apparently there's a lot that you still haven't told me."

"Pa, there's a lot of explaining and it's …it's complicated. It's a long story. I need to be with Adrien right now." Adam turned to go back to her room.

"Adam, you have completely embarrassed me, and this family. I had no clue what you meant downstairs, and your behavior was uncalled for anyway." Adam could see the rage in his father's face. "How did this happen and why did you never tell me?"

"Pa, I told you that this is hard to explain…I will, just not right now. Adrien needs me."

"Isn't she asleep?" his father asked. Adam nodded. "Then come downstairs and we'll talk."

"I don't want her to wake up alone." Adam revealed.

"She won't, now come downstairs." Adam reluctantly followed his father. Ben poured his son a brandy, and sat down by the fireplace.

"Adam, how did you first meet her?" Ben asked, hoping for the complete story this time.

"I met her while I was in college." Adam answered, trying to keep it short.

"How did you two meet?" Ben persisted.

"Do you mean the first time? Or how I found her?" Adam asked.

"Both, but start with which ever one came first."

"Well, I moved into a boarding house on the edge of town. There was a small stream in walking distance, so I went for a swim after getting settled in."

"And how did you find out about that stream?"

"A friend who lived in the room across from mine."

"So she was swimming when you got there?" His father asked, hoping for some answer.

"No, I was swimming. There was very tall grass around the area, that's why I picked it." Adam became very fidgety. "I got tired and went to leave, I was going through the grass and there she was in the middle of it, painting." Adam smiled remembering the moment, how she was looked sophisticated and innocent at the same time.

"And what happened then?" Ben asked.

"She ran away." Adam answered.

"And so how did you meet, and get so…so... _close_?" His father asked still wondering.

"Well, I'd heard that there were dancers living in the boarding house too. One was supposed to be John's cousin; he was across the hall from me. Her and a couple friends were supposed to be between residences. None of them were ever really home."

"So did you see her at the house?"

"No, not exactly. I heard her before I saw her, but I didn't know it was her." Adam laughed quietly again; he lay down on the couch. "I was reading in the parlor that night. I heard a few girls come in the door, they were laughing. I heard them all go upstairs, but one stayed behind. I heard the maid, Mary Margaret, ask how the audition went. Then I heard the girl answer, that it wasn't an audition, but she was in the running for prima with a few other girls, and that they were watching her. Then she went up stairs. When I got up the next morning, the dancers were already headed for the studio. I never saw them, but I heard them come in at night. John told me that his cousin was competing with his fiancé for prima ballerina. A couple weeks later, there was a performance and John asked me to come watch it with him. The girls had split up the lead, and it was sort of their audition for prima. John wanted some support since he didn't know who to cheer on for. I went and when she came out on stage, I was mystified. I couldn't move. I'll admit, Pa, I wanted her from then on. She was magnificent. No woman has ever been more beautiful on stage."

"I understand, son, I understand completely." Ben commented, "But I don't have it all yet. I still don't know how I ended up a grandfather."

"I know; I'm not done yet, Pa."

"Then, please continue."

"She became prima, and she performed the lead role in every production. I was there in prime seats every night. John was in the inner circle since his cousin was prima and his girl was a principal dancer. He invited me to a cast party at the close of this particular production. I'd still never seen her as close as I did that day at the stream. I'd caught glimpses, but I was afraid to look at her too much, I was afraid that the beauty and the grace weren't real that she wasn't real. Sometimes I thought if I got to close, she'd be like that illusion that I had of my mother as a child, and she'd disappear when I tried to touch her. Well, finale night came, and with a lot of coaxing, John got me to go. I was waiting for the girls in the gala room with John. His fiancée, Jessica, came out in an evening gown. I studied her; she had a slender figure, pretty green eyes, and nice blonde hair. We began a conversation. I began to get jealous of John for getting such a good catch. Then behind me I heard a very melodious voice. She said, "Well, I see you two have a new friend, who's this?". I turned around, and there she was. Right there, in front of me. She didn't disappear, and she didn't mutate into something hideous, there she was magnificent. And then I realized where I'd seen her before, besides on the stage. She realized who I was and her entire face turned bright red. " Adam's smile became wider and wider as he spoke.

"John looked at her and noticed that apparently we'd met then with as much grandeur as he could muster announced, 'Adam, I'd like you to meet, one of the best dancers that Boston has ever seen, Miss Adrieaunna Mychaeila Cooper.'

"Jessica could barely keep herself from rolling on the floor. Then making it even better Adrien just reached over and shook my hand and said "I'm pleased to meet you, Mr…" and I answered "Cartwright." Then she said, "John, since this is Mr. Cartwright's first time with us, why don't we show him a good time." So we left, and we went to this little restaurant, there we were met by four more of their friends. One of them was a dancer, the other three played in the orchestra. It seemed like we talked about everything, Adrien and I were suddenly drawn to each other. Then we went dancing. I thought it was funny that they wanted to go dancing after already dancing all night, but I went along. At the end of the night we walked home together, and I walked her to her room. Things just advanced from there. Eventually, they all bought a piece of land together out there and built a few cottages on it. It was all really quaint and beautiful. I wasn't happy at the boarding house anymore so when John invited me to live with them I accepted. We were closer to each other that way I loved it. As time went by, we got closer and closer to each other. We were in love, and there was a lot of passion between us. It began to go to far, and … Adam stopped there.

"Rebecca happened?" Ben asked.

"Not exactly." Adam answered. "She went to rehearsal one night, and she didn't come back."

"And why did she not come back?"

"She disappeared, Jess saw her leave, but she never came home. Will found her three days later on the other side of town, in an old storage shed. She'd been beaten unconscious. There's no telling what happened to her, I've always had an idea of what happened, and I'm almost sure of who did it, but anyway, after that was when she found out that she was pregnant, and she wasn't sure if the baby was mine or who's it was."

"Adam, what did you do when Adrien found out that she was pregnant?" Ben asked.

"When Adrien found out, she reacted much like she did tonight. She stayed in her room for three days, and then she ran away, I found her by the stream where we first saw each other. We moved into town and she took a leave of absence from the ballet. Jessica took her place. When Adrien's time came we went to a little secluded place in the middle of nowhere. We went back under the illusion that we'd gone to find her mother and that she'd died after childbirth because of her age."

"I see and people believed it?" Ben asked.

"Yes, they did, no one was the wiser. We moved back to the cottage on the edge of town. Adrien went back to dancing, I went to school. And then when I left, she sent Rebecca to her family until she got past her grief. And the rest you know already."

"Have you ever been sure who Rebecca's father is?" Ben asked.

"No, sometimes I think that maybe it was him, I see him in her personality, but I see a lot of me in her physically, she has the same nose as my mother."

"But how did she end up with blue eyes like that?"

"Have you looked deeply into Adrien's, they're exactly the same. There's no doubt that her eyes are Adrien's, but really does it matter who the real father is? I love that girl like she's mine, and do you see anyone else around here who loves her as much?"

Adam took in a deep breath. The room was silent.

It's over, he thought, I'm no longer living a lie.

"Pa, what are you thinking?" Adam asked.

"I can't say I'm not disappointed in you, Adam. But I can't say I'm not proud of you either. You did what any good man and father would have done. You respected her when you thought that she didn't want you in her life anymore, but you still should have kept in touch with your daughter."

"I know."

"And you should have respected Adrieanna more than you did then."

"I know, Pa." Adam answered, looking down at the floor. "Everything she ever did was because I wanted her to."

"Do you respect her more now?"

"Yes, Pa, of course I do. How couldn't I? Look at what she's been through. Look at what she going through. Any other woman would have crumbled the day Cooper showed up."

"I know; she's extraordinary." Ben replied.

"Adam." Adrien called weakly from the top of the stairs. Adam looked up at her. The pain in her eyes seemed to send a chill through the room. Adam stood and went to her at the top, and picked her up in to his arms.

"Pa, I don't care what it takes." Adam declared, "I'm finding her."


	19. Chapter 18 : The Knight

"Come on, Missy Coopa', you need to eat something right now, Missy Coopa, Hop Sing think you no like his cooking." Hop Sing was getting extremely frustrated with her, but she would not give in. "I tell Mista' Adam when he get back and he be no happy about it."

"I'm sorry, Hop Sing, I'm just not hungry." Adrien answered.

"I know, you no like Hop Sing's cooking." The cook declared.

"You know that that's not true."

"You need eat, you no be strong when daughta' come home." He reasoned.

"Let's see how I feel at supper, Ho Sing, maybe then I'll feel up to it." He picked up her tray and left the room. A few minutes later, Ben came up and sat down by the bed.

"It's been three days, Miss Cooper, you need to keep your strength up. You could have a tough road ahead of you."

"What's the point, it's all over." She answered almost in a haze.

"Miss Cooper, don't say such things." Ben chastised.

"Why do you keep up the Miss Coopers? Why don't you just call me Adrien? We aren't just acquaintances anymore"

"I guess I can, if you'd like." He answered, slightly surprised. "You have given a grandchild, finally."

"Don't worry, if we find her, we'll be gone in no time."

"What are you talking about? We're not going to let you leave."

"So you want all the talk and the gossip?" she asked.

"Why should I care about it, it'll die away. You shouldn't worry."

"But my job, I have no way of providing for myself now, and definitely not her." Adrien realized.

"Don't worry, Adrien, your job's not in danger." He assured her. "And even if it was, we couldn't let you two leave. It would break Adam's heart."

"Yeah, I wish she'd have gotten more time with him, now thanks to my father…"

"That girl has plenty of time to know her father… and her grandfather."

"How are you so sure?" she asked.

"No matter how much a person is eaten up with evil, no one could ever hurt that girl."

"I hope you're right."

" I know I am, and you do too, so act like you do."

"I think I'll just stay here."

"No, you won't."

"I know where Adam gets his stubbornness from." She quipped.

"Adam's going to be home tonight, and if he sees you like this, you'll only dishearten him. He loves you…almost too much."

" I know," She answered. "But, he won't be back for a while, I have time."

"No, he only took three days supplies, he'll be back tonight."

"Oh, well."

"Why don't you get yourself cleaned up? Maybe you'll feel better after a hot bath, and some fresh clothes." Ben insisted.

"Maybe you're right." She gave in.

"Good, I'll have Hop Sing come in and get you when he gets it drawn."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

"Adrien, you look wonderful. Do you feel better or is this just for me?" Adam asked finding Adrien reading in her room. She got up and hugged him close without a word. "I'm home for the night."

"That's nice." She said pulling away and going back to her desk.

"Roy put a posse together, they're continuing the trail for me." Adam told her.

'Good, hopefully we'll find her body sooner that way."

"Don't say that," Adam hugged her again. "We'll find her, I promise."

"Adam, you're home, I'm glad." Ben said entering the room. "How are things going?"

"I think I'm gaining on him, but there is one thing that worries me." Adam answered.

"And what is that?" Ben asked.

"The trail leads into the Ponderosa." Adam looked down at the floor.

"We need to put our men on it then." Ben suggested.

"I already have everyone on it."

"Good, son, good." Ben patted his son on the back and left the room.

"Adrien, we're going to get her back." Adam assured.

"I hope you're right, Adam." She answered. "I really hope you're right."

She started to cry again, but this time she had Adam to comfort her. She fell asleep in Adam's arms that night, just like she had so many times in Boston. She was beautiful in her sleep, and almost peaceful, but even closed; the pain could still be seen in her eyes.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

"_You never looked so beautiful. I love you. I never thought I'd ever love a person this much. God, I love you. I can't believe it. I'll always love you, and look what you've given me. How can I ever repay you for that? I promise, I'll give you everything you could ever want, and her too. You both are wrapped around my finger so tight, I'll never be able to leave the room without you. I'll never leave without you anyway. I love you, I'll always love you…both of you" _

_He slipped into the bed beside her._

"_You're so beautiful. How in the world did I ever end up with you? What star fell and made me such a lucky man? I can't picture my life without you. How did I live without you in my life before? When we get home we'll sell that little cottage, and I'll build you the biggest house in Boston, and you'll dance, you'll dance and you'll be more beautiful that ever. And then, we'll travel the world together, just the three of us, it maybe more by then…"_

"_We'll see." She whispered. "We'll see."_

_He jerked back in surprise._

"_I thought you were asleep."_

"_I think I am, everything is perfect. Don't pinch me, I don't want it to end." She looked up at him and smiled. "I love you so much."_

"_Are you happy darling?"_

"_I couldn't be happier."_

"_That's all that matters to me" He held her close. "That's all that matters."_

_The baby cooed contentedly in the distance._

"_What are we going to name her darling?" she asked._

"_I don't know, what could we?"_

"_I can't believe you of all people haven't thought of this."_

"_I'm sorry."_

"_Well, think for me, I'm too tired to."_

"_It's all right darling, go back to sleep." He stroked her hair for a couple minutes while she drifted back into her dream world. Then he rose and went to the bassinet, and looked at the sleeping baby._

"_You're so beautiful. But what will we name you, you need one that is just as beautiful as you." He sat in deep thought for a moment._

"_I know, darling," He carefully lifted her from the bassinet. "You're my Rebecca, my darling Rebecca Lynn."_

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Adam left early the next morning. Ben went with Hoss and Joe to ride the fence line and round up strays. Adrien spent the morning alone in the great room catching up on her reading. After a while, she began to feel weak from not eating for the last few days, so she went upstairs, and it was not long before she was asleep. She woke with a start to the sound of glass breaking downstairs and someone yelling, "Damn it."

It's just the men coming home; we all know how clumsy Hoss is. She thought, and then she tried to go back to sleep, but she could not. Then she heard someone bump into something again.

That's weird, she thought, Hoss might run into something once, but he never does twice. She lay back down, but then she remembered that she'd promised Adam. So she got up, pulled on a pair of jeans and a blouse, and went to the stairs, but something did not feel right, so she took a few precautions before going. She heard someone curse again, the voice sounded familiar, but it definitely did not belong to the Cartwright's.

She looked past the corner of the staircase; it was her father. She shifted her weight where she was; a board creaked.

"Mama!" She heard a little voice call. "Is that you?"

That voice was Rebecca's.

"Shut up, kid." She heard Cooper order Rebecca, and then a pop as he slapped her.

"Cooper, you better not lay a hand on her again." Adrien called revealing herself, and coming down the stairs. Suddenly, a knife flew in her direction. She ducked; it stuck in the wall where her head would have been. She drew the gun that she had hid behind her back.

"Cooper, let her go." She ordered.

He stepped into the light, his hand on the gun in its holster.

"Well, look who it is, my oldest and most rebellious." He antagonized. "I need to thank that man of yours, he led me straight here."

"What do you want?" she asked, her eyes dark with anger.

"I've come to quiet my accuser." He answered.

"Then what did Rebecca have to do with this?"

"Assurance that you'd still be here."

"Well, I'm here." She answered. "Let her go."

"Alright." He did, and she ran to her mother. Adrien wrapped one arm around her daughter, but still kept the gun aimed at the girl's grandfather.

"Go upstairs, sweetheart, lock the door, don't come out until I come and get you." She whispered softly. Rebecca obeyed, and not a word was said until a door was heard slamming upstairs.

"How dare you even touch my daughter?" She challenged. "Have you forgotten who you're dealing with?"

"I know exactly what I'm dealing with, that's why I'm here." He answered, his voice gruff and anger showing through.

"Then you know what you're up against." She said. "Now put the gun on the floor."

He hesitated; she cocked the gun. He dropped it on the floor.

"Not a hair on her head better be out of place or I'll kill you."

"Don't worry, I didn't touch her." He replied.

"Good, now, how do expect to quiet me?"

"Well," he began and took a step towards her, "I expected to catch you asleep, but…" He threw out a kick and tripped Adrien; the gun went flying. When it landed, it went off, the bullet shattering a window. Cooper pulled out his gun. Adrien went to the floor for hers, but the click of Cooper's hammer cocking back froze her. "…This is better." An evil grin spread across his face.

"Even if you do kill me Cooper you won't get away, Adam will come after you with even more of a vengeance." Adrien told him.

"I'll be gone before they ever find me."

"Don't be so sure." She challenged. She pulled the knife from her back pocket.

"Don't forget who taught you how to use that thing."

"Don't worry," she answered, "I had some one teach me how to use it right."

She heard some horses ride up and to the hitching post, but Cooper did not. A small smirk came across her face.

"What do you think you're smilin' about, you little hussy." Cooper hissed.

"You just think you've gotten away with it, you won't kill me and get away with it."

"Do you think that that Adam Cartwright is gonna come and save you? I made sure that he's long gone for a little while."

Adrien shivered knowing that someone was near, but hoping they'd be there in time.

"I've heard about that man you've got," Cooper continued, "You think he cares, you think he might want to marry you. Just wait until he finds out about that girl, he'll hightail it outa' here so fast you won't even have time to tell him that you don't know who the daddy is."

"That's what you think, Cooper." A voice from behind called. The voice was Adam's.

Cooper turned slowly around; Adrien slid a few feet across the floor and reached for the gun.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't the knight in shining armor." Cooper antagonized.

"If that's what you want to call it fine, but you're not messing with this woman anymore." Adam retorted, his hand hovering above his gun, which was still in its holster. Cooper re-cocked his gun.

"What are you gonna do Cartwright?" He taunted.

"Leave him alone, Cooper," Adrien turned his attention back to her, the gun suck into her jeans behind her back. "It's me you came for, go ahead do it."

She stood up and held up her hands. "Go ahead, no one's stopping you. Adam will even let you get away."

"There's something I gotta' do to be sure." He answered.

Suddenly, Cooper turned, and aimed at Adam. Two shots rang out.


	20. Chapter 19 : Please Remember Me

"Adrien, oh God, Adrien, don't be dead, please don't be dead." Adam pleaded.

She felt a horrible pain in her chest, it hurt so much she could not move, and it was hard to breath. She felt two fingers on her throat.

"You're still here." He moved her so her head was on his lap, and stroked her head. The door opened, she heard hurried footsteps on the floor.

"Adam, what's going…" Ben could not finish. There was a dead man on the floor, a gun in his hand. His oldest son on his knees, with the woman he loved in his lap, bleeding.

"Get the doctor, Pa, we need him. Now, Pa…" Adam's voice trailed off choked out by his tears.

"Joe, go get Doc Martin, now."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

"Adam, what happened?" Sheriff Coffee asked, as Ben handed him a cup of coffee. It had already been a long evening. The doctor was upstairs taking a bullet out of Adrien's chest. No one was sure if she would live or not.

"I don't know what happened before I got here, but when I walked in and there he was. She was on the floor, a gun not too far from her. He pointed the gun at me. Adrien told him to leave me alone, it was her that he was after anyway. He said he had to sure he was going to get out of here. So he pointed the gun at me and fired, but she shoved me out of the way, she fired once at him. She ran straight into the path of his bullet. If it weren't for her, I'd be dead. She's given her life for mine."

Adam just looked down to the floor. He was so heartbroken he could not even cry.

"Daddy." A little voice said quietly from the bottom of the staircase.

They all looked up to find Rebecca standing there, her face was still dirty, and she had a small cough from being out in the elements for the past few days.

"Daddy." She called again.

"Come here, sweetie." Adam answered. She ran into his waiting arms. He held her tightly and kissed the top of her head. He had missed her so much. At least, he had not lost both of them.

"Daddy, you're hurting me." She whined.

"Oh, I'm sorry baby." He said, realizing that he was holding on to her rather tightly. He loosened up his grip and sat her on his knee.

"Are you alright, Becca?" He asked while pulling out his handkerchief and wiping her nose.

"Yeah, it's just really cold in here." She answered.

Adam cast a worried look to Ben. Her answer was very strange, it was early May, and today had been a very warm day, and the house was not chilly at all. He laid his hand on her forehead.

"What's wrong, Daddy?" She asked, reading the worried look on her father's face.

"Why don't you go ask Hop Sing for a blanket to wrap up in, sweetie." He said sending her away from the upsetting conversation. She jumped off his lap, and went to the kitchen to find Hop Sing. Suddenly, she paused and turned back.

"Daddy," she asked, "are you mad at me?"

"No, baby, why would I be mad at you?" Adam countered.

"Because it's all my fault."

"What's your fault, baby?"

"Mamma's hurt, it's because of me, isn't it?"

Adam went to her and knelt down, looking her in the eye.

"Nothing is your fault, sweetie." He said. "The only thing you've ever done is steal my heart, and I couldn't love you more for it."

"I love you too."

"Now, go get your blanket from Hop Sing." She turned and ran for the kitchen.

Adam sat back down on the settee.

"She's feverish, isn't she?" Ben asked.

"She's burning up, I want the Doc to look at her when he gets done with Adrien, that is if he can help Adrien."

"Adrien's a stronger woman than you give her credit for, son. She'll be alright." Ben assured him, but the unsure ness in his voice screaming through.

"I don't know what I'll do if I loose her." Adam looked down at the floor again.

"At least you still have the little girl." Coffee reminded him; his comment was answered with a harsh look from Adam. "Well, it looks like I've done all I can do here." He picked up his hat and went to the door. Ben rose and followed him to the door.

"Thank you, Roy." He said quietly, and shut the door behind him. They sat for a while in silence. Rebecca came in with her blanket and doll, and crawled into her father's lap. Adam rocked her to sleep as she laid there in a cold sweat, shivering from head to toe. Ben took over for a little while.

"The fever is getting worse." Adam said wringing his hands; the minutes seemed like hours, every bead of sweat seemed to fall off Rebecca's forehead in slow motion.

"Keep her wrapped well, maybe we'll be able to break it." Ben answered.

The sun began to set. Rebecca's temperature kept rising. Adam could not stop pacing. It seemed like days had passed. The last words she whispered before she passed out pounded in his head.

"Darling, take care of Becca. Please, please, take care of her for me."

"I will, I promise." He whispered.

"Adam, please, doesn't forget me, darling."

"I won't, I promise, I won't." He kissed her on the forehead.

The sound of a door shutting upstairs broke Adam from his thoughts. Slow footsteps upstairs brought him to end of the staircase; the doctor and Hoss came down.

"She's a lucky girl," The doctor stated, " a very, very lucky girl."

"How is she, Paul?" Ben asked.

"Not good, not good at all." The doctor sat down beside Adam on the settee, and put his hand an Adam's shoulder. "Whatever in the world made her jump in front of that bullet…well...if she hadn't, you'd probably be dead, Adam."

"What do we need to do for her?" Ben asked.

"Some one needs to be with her when she wakes up, she'll be in a lot of pain, and may not remember why." The doctor answered. "She'll need to be kept still. Her collarbone is shattered and that bullet hit an artery, and if you get her going to quickly, I don't know if everything will hold up. She's a very lucky girl."

"So she's going to live?" Ben continued.

"I'm not sure. She's lost a lot of blood. If she can make it through the night, I think she's got a very good chance."

"I'll watch her tonight." Adam volunteered.

"I'll be back up here first thing in the morning." The doctor announced. "And that means I better get home." He turned to leave.

"Doc, wait." Adam called, stopping the doctor at the door. "It's Rebecca, I think she's taken up pretty sick. Would you mind taking a look at her before you leave?"

The doctor felt of Rebecca's forehead.

"She's burning up, but I doubt it's really anything more than just a cold. I bet she was left out it the elements with that lunatic. Just keep her wrapped up and plenty of liquid. Once it breaks, she'll be fine. I'll check on her in the morning too. If you even suspect a fever in Miss Cooper, have someone ride into town and get me immediately." He turned and went out the door.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Adam sat by Adrien's bed. He held her hand gently in his, prayers breathing rapidly and silently from his lips. As each breath became more and more ragged, his prayers became more and more adamant.

"She's lost a lot of blood, Adam. And she's got a lot of healing to do. She's going to be very tired for a very long time." Ben stated.

"Are you sure she'll make it, Pa?" Adam asked, searching for some kind of hope.

"Adam, I can't be for sure yet, but she does have a little bit more color than she did when I left last night." He put his hand on Adam's shoulder. "She's a fighter, Adam, I don't think this can take her."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Beams of morning sunlight burst through the open widow, birds could be heard singing their morning anthems nearby, the scent of spring flowers sweetly wafted through the open window. Adrien's face was still a ghostly white. She lay on the bed, deathly rigid. Her arm was held across her chest by her sling. Her breathing was slow and ragged and uneven. Her ebony hair was fanned out around the pillow. Adam sat beside her bed, holding her hand gently in his, occasionally smoothing a stray hair from her face. Every once in a while he'd whisper in her ear, hoping that she'd wake to the sound of his voice. The hands on the clock seemed to never move, there had been times in the night that Adam wondered if the world was still turning. He knew one thing for sure, that his world had stopped. His world lay on the bed beside him, barely clinging to life.

"Oh, God, give me a sign." He pleaded. The guilt was wrenching his heart and his mind.

If only I hadn't walked through that door, if only I hadn't tried to help her, if only... he thought.

The morning wore on. Ben came in to relieve Adam of his watch, but Adam refused to leave her.

"Please, son, at least go and make sure that your daughter has a good breakfast and goes straight back to bed. You know Adrien is depending on you to do that." His father reminded him.

He got up realizing that this was true. He made sure Rebecca had all that she desired and then returned to his bedside vigil.

The entire morning was spent whispering sweet promises into Adrien ear.

"Please darling, open your eyes, it's over, it's done, we'll can be happy, just the way we were in Boston, like you always wanted. Just the three of us. There's nothing to hide now, darling. Please don't leave me."

"Promises, promises, darling." She breathlessly whispered. Her eyes slowly opened, finding Adam looking down on her.

"Good morning, dear." She smiled. She tried to sit up in the bed.

"Oh, God." She groaned in sudden pain, falling back down onto the bed and realizing that her arm was in a sling.

"Adam, what happened to me?" She asked.

"You took a bullet, darling." Adam answered with tears in his eyes. " But I think you'll be alright." He added trying to assure himself more than her.

"Is Rebecca alright?"

"She's got a little cold, but she's fine now. I'm making her stay in bed for today so she can get her strength back up."

"I always knew you'd make a good father." She smiled. With her good arm, she reached up and brought Adam's lips to hers. His kiss made her light-headed. She did not want to pull away, but there were questions left unanswered.

"Adam, where's my father? Is he alright?" Adrien asked.

"I'll be back, in a second darling…uh…I need to tell Pa you're awake… so he can go get the sheriff and Doc Martin, they both wanted to speak to you after you were awake." He backed his way to the door, and turned the knob quickly.

A few minutes later, her door opened again.

"Adrien, it's nice to see you up." Ben said as he came through the door followed by Adam.

"There's something you guys aren't telling me." She frankly stated.

"What in the world would make you think that?" Ben asked as he took a seat in the chair bed her bed. Adam sat down on the mattress and again took her hand.

"Both of you did the exact same thing when Becca was taken, so I know this can't be good. Why don't you just tell me what's going on?"

"Adrien." Adam began.

"Something did happen, but it's something you won't like." Ben broke in.

"What is it? Tell me. I can handle it." She pleaded, but she just got skeptical looks. "If you don't tell me, I'll find out eventually." She looked deep into Adam's eyes.

"Please Adam, this almost hurts worse than you lying to me." She said. He turned his gaze from her. The words burned deep in him.

"Adrien, no one is lying to you. We're just trying to be careful. You're in worse condition than you know." Ben explained.

She took a deep breath. The color suddenly drained from her face, she fell back and let the pillows support her completely. Adam reached out and felt of her forehead.

"Adam, please." She said pushing his hand away. He gave Ben a worried look.

"You don't want to over do it." Adam whispered.

"I'm alright." She answered, and took another deep breath, "How bad is it?"

"You took a bullet in the shoulder, " Ben explained. "and that bullet hit an artery and you shattered your collarbone. You lost a lot of blood. Doc Martin is surprised that you're still alive. You've been in an unconscious state for almost two days."

"So how did all of this happen?" She asked.

"You don't remember?" Adam asked shocked.

"I remember some, but not all of it." She answered.

"Well, what do you remember?" Adam asked.

"Wait a minute, Adam." Ben interrupted, " Remember, we're not to get her too worked up at all."

"Why not?" She asked.

"Doc just wants to make sure that the stitches in that artery hold. If they don't, you could bleed to death." Ben answered.

"I see." She replied, calmly. "I understand all of this now. Adam, why couldn't you tell me this?"

"I thought you'd want to know what happened, I wasn't sure what you'd do. I knew that if you'd got upset it'd take at least the two of us to calm you down." He answered.

"Thank you dear, but I still want to know what happened."

"You'll know in a little bit." Ben told her.

"I know, let me guess, as soon as I get healed up a little bit."

"Actually, no." Ben answered.

"Adrien, Sheriff Coffee needs to know what happened before I got there, and he insists on knowing as soon as possible." Adam explained. "Joe is on his way to get him and the Doc."

"And he's going to be here just in case I lose it, right?" she asked.

"Yes dear." Adam answered, looking down again. "It's just that we don't know really what's going to happen and if anything goes wrong…I'm not taking any more chances, darling." He reached out to move a stray hair from her face. She smiled softly and blinked, but it took a great effort to open her eyes back up.

"Darling, are you alright?" She heard Adam ask. She tried to focus on him, but she couldn't. She suddenly felt a chill go through her body.

"Adrien?" She heard Ben call. Everything was blurry.

"Adrien!"


	21. Chapter 20 : Truth Be Told

Adrieanna woke up to Adam 's voice speaking to Doc Martin and the Sheriff.

"I'm not sure if I should let him do this to her, Doc." He said, "She just faded out on us it was really strange."

"Adam, I've never seen a person able to live with as little blood as she has in her, I'm beginning to wonder if a transfusion is necessary, just so she can recover." The doctor stated.

"But they go wrong so easily, I don't think it's worth the risk." Adam answered.

"I know, but if she gets an infection, we'll have to do something."

"Adam." Adrien called weakly.

"Yes, darling." He answered, sitting back down on the bed, and taking her hand.

"It's worse than what we thought, isn't it?" She asked.

"No, dear it's not, you're getting better."

"I'm just so cold." The chill was going through her again.

"You have a lot more color in you than you did when I saw you last." The doctor chimed in, trying to encourage her. "Have you had much pain?"

"A little, it doesn't hurt to move my arm, why do I have to have it in a sling?"

"I didn't want you using it you need to keep that collarbone still and you don't need to get your blood going too fast." He answered as he began to take her arm out of the sling and change the dressing on the wound. Adrien saw what had happened to her for the first time. Adam could not bear to look, he just kept thinking:

She could have died, and for what? … Taking a bullet for me. God, why? I could have lost her. I still could lose her.

"Adam," Adrien broke into his thoughts, she was reaching for his hand with her good arm, "It was worth it. You're still here, and that's all that matters."

"No, my life isn't nearly worth yours." He answered.

"Well, I can agree with Adam on one thing, "Doc Martin chimed in, "you weren't being very smart jumping in front of a bullet like that, but I can't say I blame you either.

"Everything looks really good for your condition." He continued. Now, I know you've probably already been told, but I'll tell you again just to be sure. You can get out of bed, but I don't suggest it. You're still too prone to fainting, first of all. And secondly, you can't and I mean absolutely can't get upset, or worked up at all. If your blood gets worked up at all, those stitches in that artery could bust, and then we're all in for a really big mess."

"Then why are we about to do what we are?" Adam asked.

"Coffee insists, you know how he is when he gets something set in his mind, but I'm staying in the room, and if she shows any signs of being faint or if she gets too worked up I'm calling this off. I don't want to risk her either."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

"Are you sure that that's all you remember." Coffee asked.

"Yes, I'm sure that the last thing I remember is my father aiming his gun at Adam, and then the next thing I know I'm here with a bullet wound in my chest."

"Well, you did have reason to shoot, but there is the simple fact that you're associated with the Cartwrights."

"Why in the world should that matter?" she asked.

"Dear," Adam broke in, "even though we're welcomed by a lot of the people around here, and when things like this happen our enemies seem to come out of the cracks."

"Oh, I see" She answered.

"So you see why we need an inquest to make sure there's no question about murder charges." Coffee asked.

"What do you mean murder charges?" She asked suddenly completely confused.

"Miss Cooper, you didn't just shoot him."

"Then, what did I do?" She asked.

"You…" Coffee began."

"No, stop. Let me do this." Adam broke in. He sat down on the bed, and again took both of Adrien's hands.

"Adrien, I know that you're a really good shot, and I know that you didn't mean to do it, and in your mind you had no choice. You have no idea how much I love you for what you did for me, but with you jumping front of me…. Baby, you missed."

Adam could not look at her anymore; he could not look her in the eye and say it. Telling her might kill her; it might actually kill her.

She was looking at him blankly, it wasn't sinking in."

"Honey, you…you…" He could not finish it.

"You killed your father." Coffee finished for him, coldly.

Her eyes grew in disbelief.

"Adam, he's lying to me isn't he? He's not really dead, is he?"

Adam was silent, and the longer he was the more frantic she got.

"Adam, answer me. That it's not true. Adam, tell me."

"I'm sorry, baby, I won't lie to you."

Tears were streaming down her face. Adam pulled her close.

"Darling, please don't cry, you didn't mean for this to happen." He whispered. "Don't blame yourself, darling, no one else does."

"No Adam, I shouldn't have fired, I should have just let him kill me." She sobbed. "I can't believe that I killed someone."

"No, if you hadn't, he would have killed both of us, and there's no telling what he would have done to Rebecca. You did the right thing."

Adam cast his father, the Doc, and Coffee a look that told them to step outside the room for a little while.

Adrien continued to sob violently for a while; Adam tried to calm her down.

"Darling, you can't keep doing this. You can't do any more damage to yourself. You'll never recover if you keep going like this."

His attempts were all in vain, but he couldn't blame her, just the thought of him shooting his father made his heart break.

Suddenly, he felt something warm on his shirt. He pushed her away from him. A large spot of red was on the chest of her nightgown, and it was growing by the second.

"Oh, my God!" He screamed.

Adrien looked up at him, her eyes full of fear and panic. Her face was now completely white.

He stood. He knew he should get the doctor… but her couldn't leave her…she needed him… but he didn't know what to do…

His feet seemed frozen to the floor.

"Adam," she whispered, falling back onto her pillows, feeling faint, the pain throbbing in her chest, her heart beat pounding like a drum in her ears, "Adam, don't let him, don't let him destroy us too. Please don't let him."

She faded.

"Doc, Doc, " Adam called, "come quick!"


	22. Chapter 21 : A Knife In The Heart

Ethan Cooper was buried in the Virginia City cemetery, but he was placed among the town's criminals. There was no memorial service. At the time, Adrien was still in very bad shape and the family in Colorado did not want to do anything but forget.

Adrien healed quickly after her stitches burst that once. She was still weak and fainted from time to time. Ben insisted on her staying at the Ponderosa until her color at least came back, but it was hard to tell with the way her face lit up when Rebecca was around.

With her condition and the events of the past weeks, Adrien decided to not go back to Colorado Springs for the summer. Everyone insisted on Rebecca living with her permanently. Ben had even gone as far as decorating one of the upstairs guestrooms for her when she wanted to stay overnight at the Ponderosa. Life seemed to almost be getting back.

Adrien did eventually move back into her own house, much to Adam's reluctance, but he was there with his daughter everyday. The inquest into Ethan Cooper's death did send the town into an uproar, but it wasn't exactly what Coffee had expected. At least every parent in Virginia City made it a point to personally tell the Sheriff that questioning her story was a complete outrage. The judge ruled in self defense and defense of others anyway. Afterward, Hoss joked that the judge would have walked out the door to a lynch mob if he had decided anything different.

As the excitement surrounding the death of Ethan Cooper soon died with the approaching Founder's Day celebration. Everywhere you looked in town there were streamers and ribbons being hung, and booths replacing storefronts. There had been plans for the school children to do a recitation, Adam and Ben offered to cancel it, but Adrien insisted on going ahead.

The morning of, Adam picked up the girls and took them early into town. It was the first time Rebecca had been in since Adrien had seen Cooper following her. Adam could see the nervousness in Adrien's shaking hands, especially since there would be so many people in town at once, and there were so many miners that would be coming out of the cracks.

"Don't worry, dear. "Adam had told her over and over again. "When she's not with us, she'll either be with Pa or Leita. Can't you trust them?"

"Of course I do." She would answer. "But I just can't help it."

The recitation went better than planned, the children had added to the presentation and made it more interesting. The school board was impressed with Adrien, but she had to admit that some of it was Adam's doing.

There was a small parade at noon, and plenty of booths and competitions to keep everyone busy. Little Joe challenged Adam in the horse race, and Joe won. But as Joe bragged that it was his extreme skill and extensive training of Chochise that allowed him to defeat his brother, Adam whispered in Adrien's ear that he had let Joe win. The main event of the day was the burying of the time capsule. Everyone in town had the opportunity to put in some small memento of their own. Many of the miners put in some of the soil or gold from the mine. Some ranchers put in a branding iron or a branded piece of hide. Ben put in a Ponderosa branding iron and a map of the Ponderosa. Rebecca wanted to put in Samantha, but Adrien talked her into just putting in one of her paper dolls. But Adam had decided to put in something rather strange. Much to Adrien's surprise, Adam unwrapped something that Adrien recognized immediately.

"Adam, you're not going to put that in are you?" She asked

"Why not someone will need to know that this town stole one of the best ballerina's that ever been." He answered.

"No one will know that that was mine."

"They will when they find this." He answered, and he placed a program from Giselle and a picture of her in one of her dance costumes in with the ballet slipper. The back of the picture read:

_Adrieanna Mycheala Cooper_

_Prima Ballerina, 1849-1853, of the Boston Ballet Co._

_Teacher in Virginia City, 1855_

"Adam, you shouldn't do that." Adrien protested.

"That's too bad, I am." And he placed them in and walked away.

"Adam, why did you only put this year on that anyway?" She asked hurrying to catch up with them. "I'm not done teaching yet, I have a contract to honor, remember?"

"Yes, but how am I supposed to know when you're quitting?" Adam countered.

"Well, you always could have something to do with it." She answered.

Her answer stopped him in his tracks.

Yes, yes, I could always have something to do with it. He thought.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

After the capsule was buried, there was a break in the festivities. Adam took Adrien to the room he'd gotten them at the hotel to get ready for the dance and Rebecca to her grandfather for the night.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

The dance was amazing. Everyone commented on the purple dress that Adrien wore. It was another of Leita's creations. They'd picked just the right color of purple so she could wear the earrings and the comb that Adam gave her. And now, every time she looked at her wrist she didn't see the reminders of hard times and heartache. Now she'd only remember how he'd come into her hotel room that evening and pulled her arm behind her back.

"Adam, what do you think you're doing?" She'd asked, surprised to see him behind her in the mirror, with a playful smile. "Did you forget how to knock?"

"I know you too well, I know you would be just touching up by now." He answered with a kiss on her neck.

She felt something go around her wrist. As soon as he let go, she pulled her arm back around to find a beautiful sapphire bracelet to match her earrings and the comb.

"Oh, Adam, " she exclaimed, hugging him tightly. "It's beautiful, I don't deserve something like this. I really don't."

"You deserve so much more than this." He answered, her words from today still ringing in his head, still making the wheels turn.

Adrien kissed him quickly and turned back to the mirror to finish getting ready.

"Here, let me look at you." Adam playfully ordered, turning her around after watching her place the sapphire comb in her hair. He looked into her eyes. They were cool and gentle pools of blue instead of the raging oceans they had been in the past few months.

"You're even more breathtaking than usual." He stated.

She kissed him gently on the cheek.

"You flatter this girl far too much, love." She whispered. He pulled her close to him and held her for a moment.

"You'd be right darling, if only I could stop making these understatements." He held her even tighter.

"Have I told you today how much I love you?" He asked.

"You've told me a thousand times today darling," She answered. "but I wouldn't turn down hearing it again."

He kissed her, deeply and passionately. Her fingers found his neck, and tussled the hair at the base of it.

"I don't think I could ever live without you, and I never want to try." He whispered.

Thanks to him she'd never forget that statement, gems never forget.

And luckily, she thought as they waltzed across the floor, I'll never have to for get how this feels.

"Darling," Adam whispered, breaking in to her thoughts. "are you happy?"

"Right now…I can't think of anywhere else I'd rather be."

"But do I make you happy?"

"Oh, darling, " She answered. " You couldn't be more perfect."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

The next morning was exceptionally beautiful. Adrien woke up early, and put away her purple dress. Then she went out on the porch and watched the sunrise. She went in for a little while to make coffee, but returned to the porch to read the new novel she had received. After a few minutes, she rose to wake up Rebecca but paused at the door, remembering that Rebecca had spent the night at the Ponderosa, suddenly something pulled at her heart. It pulled so hard that she fell down onto the porch and for a little while she could not get back up. She felt like she could not breathe, as if she was being smothered. Finally, she pulled herself up and stumbled inside the house, her eyes fell upon the grandfather clock. It was just about time for the Cartwrights to be getting up and sitting down to breakfast…

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Meanwhile, Adam woke up wondering why he felt so cold, he could have sworn that he heard a splash, but his heart was still leaping, the events of the night before still had him feeling wonderful. It seemed as if his Adrien was back, the way she was when he first met her. He could not wait to get up and start his day with Rebecca. She had been so upset when he'd given her to her grandfather for the night. Adam would have let her come with her and Adrien, but the day had started early, she needed her sleep and he needed his time with the girl's mother. He had promised to spend all of the next day with her, and now it was here. He hated to see her upset, but he would make it up to her.

Adam quickly got dressed, and hurried down to breakfast. He expected that everyone would already be at the table, since he was getting up so late. He found his family downstairs minus Rebecca.

"Has anyone seen Rebecca this morning?" He asked with a little concern.

A confirmed no was the answer that came back. Adam went upstairs to check in her room, but she was not there.

"I'm going to go check the barn." He said as he went out the door, but she wasn't there and neither was her pony, Trixsy. Adam went back in to look in her room once more.

"Was she there?" Ben asked, as Adam appeared downstairs.

"No. " He answered, "Are you all sure that no one has seen her." He asked again, hoping that he just had heard wrong.

The answer was the same.

"Well, Trixsy's gone… Rebecca's gone… I don't know why it didn't add up before…" His voice trailed off as he headed towards the door, grabbing his hat and gun. "She's gone for a ride by herself."

"Adam, wait let us go with you." His father called after him, going for his hat and gun.

"No, Pa, you stay here. If Adrien comes by before I get back, stall. I'm going to catch up with her. Hoss, Joe, come with me, you can help me track her."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Several hours later, Adam was riding back to the Ponderosa. He was having trouble believing what he held in his arms. She was so pale and cold and wet. He could not believe it. No, this was not happening. He refused to believe it.

He rode up to the house. Adrien's horse was tied to the hitching post. His heart sank. His father was pacing on the front walk. Adam looked down to him, the girl still in his arms, tears streaming down his face.

"Adam, no. " Ben whispered.

Adam handed Rebecca down to his father. He dismounted and immediately fell to his knees.

Ben looked for some sign of life in her. He brushed her hair away from her face. He left his son to lay her in the down stairs bedroom.

She's still a pretty girl, Ben thought, even in death. Why would such a beautiful, innocent spirit like hers be taken so suddenly? She was such a joy and a breath of fresh air in a house suffocated by the seriousness of adult matters.

Ben had seen the light that shone in Adam's eyes when he was with her. And Adrieanna had shone with an even greater beauty when she cared for her daughter.

"You snuffed this candle out all too soon, Lord." He whispered. "All too soon."

Ben came out of the room to find Adrien on the staircase.

"I heard the door shut. I was hoping you were Adam, I guess." She explained.

Ben did not answer; he just turned to go back outside to make an attempt to pick up his son. The two would need each other more than ever now.

Hoss came in almost completely supporting his older brother's weight as Adam tried to walk beside his younger brother. Joe followed, carrying Samantha, Rebecca's favorite doll. Hoss sat Adam down on the couch.

"Where's Adrien?" Adam asked.

"She's in Rebecca's room. She doesn't know anything yet."

"Pa, I can't do this." Adam admitted.

"I don't know what to do son, but someone has to tell her."

"Joe, you better go get the mortician." Hoss tried to quietly whisper. Joe turned to leave.

"Joe, you better get the Doc too. He'll need to make a report and fill out the certificate, and I'm sure that Adrien…" Ben tried to finish, but his voice trailed off, his youngest son just nodded, his eyes blank in disbelief and his face as full of shock as the rest of the family.

Adam again crumbled into himself even more, sobbing violently.

"Oh, Pa, I don't think I can do this. I don't think I can tell her. I don't think I can make it."

"Son, at least you have someone to make it through with." His father pleaded with him.

"She won't want anything to do with me after this. Pa, I can't tell her."

Hoss picked up Samantha; she was still dripping some from fishing her out of the lake.

"Adam, someone has to tell her." Hoss began, "The longer you wait the more it's gonna hurt her, and if she figures it out on her own, I don't know if she'll ever recover if that happens. I understand that you don't want to do this. It'll be best if you tell her, but if you can't bear it. If you want me to, brother, I'll tell her."

Adam replied with a nod. Hoss took a deep breath. He had no idea how he was going to do this. He was falling apart inside too.

A few minutes later, Adam and Ben heard a loud scream from upstairs.

"No, no. It can't be. You're lying. Admit it. I know you're lying."

Adam stood as he heard an upstairs door slam. Adrien ran down the stairs, but Adam made a quick move and caught her. Their arms went around each other, and they fell to their knees on the floor. Hoss came down the stairs, tears streaming in torrents down his face. He looked at his father, who could not bear it any longer. The two joined Adam and Adrien in the floor to mourn together. Finally, Adam gathered up enough strength to pick up Adrien and carry her upstairs, back to the room across the hall from his.

Ben stood up, and poured he and Hoss some brandy.

"Here son, maybe, this will numb the pain a little." He suggested hoarsely as he handed his son the snifter. Hoss took it and sat down by the fireplace.

"Son, do you know how it happened?" Ben asked, sitting down on the other side of the fireplace.

"I ain't for sure, Pa, but I got a purdy good idea." Hoss answered.

"How?"

"Well, we found her face down, floating in the lake. Her doll wasn't far from her. I think she was sittin' up there on the bank, and that doll fell in. It's been her favorite ever since Adam gave it to her. She must have gone in after it. It got to deep for her, and she couldn't swim." Hoss paused for moment. 'Pa, I was plannin' on teachin' her how to swim. I just never got around to it. Oh, it's all my fault, Pa."

"Don't blame yourself, Hoss." His father consoled. "There's enough of us blaming ourselves. Adam wishes he'd have spent more time with her, Adrien probably thinks she should have never let the girl out of her sight, I wish I'd have stayed in town with her longer. I've slighted her an my attention the last few weeks , I've been so busy…"

"Pa, you can't go blamin' yourself either."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

It was not long until the mortician and the doctor came back with Joe. Adam came downstairs to watch as they loaded his daughter into the wagon to be taken to town. He could not help but send Samantha with her. He would not admit it, but he hoped that somehow, some miracle would happen and she would wake up need her. She never went anywhere without that doll.

The doctor handed Ben some tranquilizers for Adrien.

"I don't even have to see her. If I were in her place, I'd need them."

"But be careful, Ben." The doc continued. "She's been almost too strong. I'm beginning to believe that God wants her to break. A woman like her should never have to go though all that she has."


	23. Chapter 22 : The Visitor

The funeral was two days later. They buried Rebecca as a Cartwright and laid her beside Marie. Adrien almost did not make it. As they put Rebecca in the ground, it was as if someone was putting a knife in her chest and twisting it over and over and over.

For weeks afterward, Adrien was almost like the walking dead. She never laughed, never smiled, never talked, never ate, and never slept. She just sat in her room looking out the window. If she ever did speak it was only to Adam, and that was rare. When she did speak, it was only in a whisper. But, Adam was never allowed close enough to touch her, much less hear what she was saying. She kept Rebecca's room like a shrine. Everything was in its place. The bed was made. The rocking chair was right by the window. Every once in a while she could be found sitting in the rocking chair stroking Samantha's hair, and humming Rebecca's favorite lullaby, not afraid to let the tears fall.

It was scenes like this that tore Adam to pieces, but he understood her pain, and wished that he could do something, anything to help her. He began to wonder if the doctor had been right. Maybe this had broken her.

There was one morning that Adam got up and could not find her. Immediately, he panicked and headed out to the lake, praying that she had not met the same fate as Rebecca had. He didn't find her there. He checked at her house, and found that she had moved all of her things back and was planning on living alone again. He protested.

"Adam, I can't live under your family's constant scrutiny." Was her answer.

He still tried to plead with her, but it was useless.

The summer dragged on. Adam spent most of his time with Adrien. Slowly, she began to come back a little bit, but her eyes were still small pools of pain.

Adam hoped that some saving grace would come, and luckily it came knocking at the door…

It was late. Adam couldn't sleep. He'd been at the school house all day helping Adrien prepare for school to start in a couple weeks. He didn't know what to do. He was torn between his love for her and his duty as a school board member.

She was in absolutely no condition to be teaching, but it was the only thing she had left now, and if that were taken from her, she would feel like she had no purpose in life anymore.

It was a stormy night, Adam wanted to be with her, to hold her and love her and feel her breath on his chest as she fell asleep in his arms, but it was not proper. She insisted on being ladylike and acting like the adults they were.

"We should be able to control ourselves, Adam." She had said, one of the many times they had almost given into passion.

It was nights like this that he missed their old life the most.

He was lost in thought when there was a knock at the door. He answered it to find a young man, exhausted and sopping wet.

"Is this the Ponderosa?" The young man asked.

"Yes it is. Why don't you come in out of the rain?" Adam answered. The boy came in; Adam went into the kitchen to get a towel.

"So what's your name?" Adam asked, handing him the towel.

"Where's my sister?" The boy demanded.

"Hold on a minute." Adam retaliated. "I can't know who you're sister is unless I know your name."

"I'm Travis, Travis Cooper. My sister was staying here."

"Oh, so you're one on the little brothers." Adam realized.

"Yes, I'm one of them. Where's my sister? I'm looking for an Adam Cartwright too. Do you know where either of them are?"

"Well, Travis, Adrien moved back to her own house, much to the protest of all of us here, I'd be glad to take you there in the morning. And you're looking at Adam Cartwright."

"Then I ought to kill you right here, right now, you son of a bitch." Travis flared, grabbing Adam by his shirt.

"Whoa, what's going on here? What's wrong?" Adam asked, remaining cool.

"She's had nothing but trouble ever since she met you."

"What do you mean trouble?" Adam asked.

"You got her pregnant. You leave her all alone with a kid and one on the way. All that ruins her career. Then, she comes out here, gets hooked up with you again. She shoots her own Pa, and then her kid dies, tearing her to pieces. If she'd never met you she'd be just fine."

"Wait a minute there, Travis." Adam countered. "I tried to prevent as much heartache as I could, but I've always been there to catch her and try to put the pieces back together."

"Well, some job you're doing now." Travis stated.

"I'm sorry, I've been trying to get her released from her contract so she doesn't have to teach anymore."

"Why?"

"So I can get her out of here. I was planning on taking her home for a little while, to see her family. I may not be perfect but I'm trying to take care of her." Adam admitted.

"I'm sorry." Travis apologized.

"It's alright, you're just protecting her. Now that you're here, you might be good for her. I hope you're here for a while."

"I'll stay as long as I need. Do you know where I could spend the night?"

"Yeah, there's a room upstairs. Last one on the left."

"Thanks." Travis picked up his tack and went to go put up his horse.

"Travis, wait." Adam called after him. "What did you mean by I left her with a kid and one on the way?"

"I think that that's something that you need to talk to her about."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

The next morning, Adam got up early. He had tossed and turned all night thinking about what Travis had said. Was she really? On the other hand, was the boy just blowing off steam. Adam did not know what to do. Adrien was not in the best shape to discuss this matter anyway. Maybe Travis would open her up, or maybe he would see what state she was in and tell him. Was this the reason why everything hit her so hard? Was this why she would just sit and stare into space? Occasionally, she would start to say things, strange things, things that he never could understand. Maybe it would all come together now…

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

There was not an answer at Adrien's when Adam knocked on the door. He unlocked the door with a key that he got out of the window box.

"What do you think you're doing?" Travis asked, surprised at his actions.

"I'm going in."

"But she's still asleep."

"It's alright, I do this all the time." Adam assured him. Travis was directed to the dining room. "If she's not up I'll start on breakfast for all of us. I know she hates my cooking, but you'll never get her to admit it, so if she's up, she'll cook."

Adam hurried upstairs to check on Adrien, he found her already up and dressed, brushing her hair in front of the vanity.

"Darling, you're here early!" She exclaimed surprised to see him peeking in the door.

"I have a surprise for you, dear." He answered, coming inside the room, taking the brush from her, and continuing for her.

"Adam, I don't really want any surprises, can't it wait?" She asked.

""No, it can't, I'm sorry dear. There's something I need to talk to you about, but it can wait, just don't let me forget, alright." He set the brush down on the vanity, and just started to play with her hair.

"Adam, what are you doing?" She asked. His absentmindedness was very unusual.

"I'm sorry, dear, I guess I'm just a little tired." He answered and started braiding it.

"So, what's this surprise?" Adrien asked.

"Just come downstairs." He said as she tied a ribbon around the end of the braid.

He covered her eyes, and guided her down the steps.

"Hello, Sis." Adrien heard a familiar voice say. She pushed Adam's hands away from her eyes to find Travis standing at the foot of the stairs.

"Travis." She said with almost no emotion in her voice.

"Aren't you glad to see me, sis?" Travis asked, as surprised at her reaction as Adam was.

"Yes, of course I am, " She answered, forcing a smile, " you just really surprised me, that's all, really." She gave him a very cold and quick hug.

"Have you had breakfast yet?" She asked both of them.

"No, " Adam answered, "I was just about to go and fix it for you."

"That's all right dear, Travis has had a long hard trip, and probably would like a good meal, and a night's rest.

"Where are your things?" She asked Travis.

"I left them at the Ponderosa. I spent the night there." Travis answered.

"Really, why didn't you come here?" She asked, looking a little hurt."

"I was told you were living there for a little while, sis."

"Oh, well, come on, we're burning daylight."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

"Travis, why are you really here?" Adam asked Travis one afternoon a week later. The two men were building a new stall in Adrien's stable.

"After I heard all that had happened to her, I got worried I didn't know if she really had anyone here to lean on or not. She writes about you all the time, she puts you on such a pedestal, but after the truth was revealed, I didn't know if you'd stand beside her or not. So I had to make sure my sister had someone to lean on." Travis responded, looking down at the ground.

"So you're not still going to try to convince her to go back to Colorado?"

"Would you try to stop me if I did?" Travis countered.

"Do I need to?"

"No."

"So why are you really here?" Adam asked again.

"To give my sister some company and protection, really, that's all now. I may have come off as having more of an agenda when I arrived, but really that's all."

They continued with their work for a moment. They could hear Adrien humming as she tended to her flowerbed by the porch.

"Travis, can I ask you something?" Adam asked once more.

"Yes, what is it?"

"What did you mean the night you got here when you said that I left Adrien with a kid and one on the way?"

"Didn't I tell you that you'd have to ask her?"

"Yes, you did." Adam replied. "But I've tried and I can't get anything out of her. It's hard to open the kind of door that that might be with out tearing the scabs off of newer wounds. Every time I try to bring it up, she just changes the subject anyway"

"Do you even realize that if you let her go on like this she'll never snap out of it. I knew that, that's why I'm here. I was the one who helped her after you left. Then, we had to get her dancing again and she was better after awhile, but then she was so much in love she almost couldn't breathe without you. Now, she still has you, she has to learn to live without Rebecca just like when she…" Travis threw down his hammer and headed for the porch. "Come on, Adam. It's time you had a very long and honest talk with that woman."

"Adrien!"

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

"_Adrien!" he called, frantically. "Adrien, where are you?"_

_She hadn't been at home, she hadn't been at the theater all day. Grace and Jess said that they had seen her that morning extremely upset. But where was she._

_Adam had come home from his classes that day in high spirits. Adrien had almost recovered from her disappearance. She still leaned on him more that usual, and she still didn't want to talk about anything She'd gone back to rehearsals this week. And the night before…the night before had been magical. He had been gentle with her, extremely gentle, but it had been extremely hard to contain himself. Everything she did made him want her more, the way she ran her fingers through her hair, the way she touched him, the passion in her kiss, the way their bodies seemed to gravitate to each other…He never dreamed that making love could be so beautiful…_

_His thoughts were broken by the sound of the stream flowing. He hadn't realized that he was so close to it. He made his way through the trees to it and began to walk the banks. He was getting close to where he was when they first met, then he saw her. She was sitting on a boulder on the other side of the of the stream. _

"_Adrien." He called. She looked up. He could see the tears in her eyes, and running down her face._

"_Adrien. What's wrong?" He called as he began to walk down into the stream and cross to her side._

"_Adam, just go, just leave me alone." She answered, but that didn't stop him. He reached her side and reached up for her hand._

"_Darling what's going on?"_

"_I saw the doctor today." She replied as a new wave of sobs overtook her._

"_What's wrong, darling? What did he say that's upset you so much?"_

"_I don't want to talk about it."_

"_Adrien, whatever it is, we'll get through this." He assured her. "Why don't we at least go home?"_

"_I don't want to."_

"_Adrien, if you're sick, then this isn't the place to be. You'll get cold. Please come home."_

_She took his hands, and got down from the boulder._

"_What's going on darling?" he asked again._

_She just leaned her head on his shoulder, and started to cry again. He picked her up and started at carry her back across the river._

"_Adam, no." She stopped him. "I can do this myself." He set her down and they went across together, his arm still around her and her head remained on his shoulder. They were about half across when Adam whispered:_

"_You know I love you, darling, don't you."_

_That brought her into deep sobs again._

_They stood in the middle of the river for a long time. Adam patiently held her. As she began to calm she whispered:_

"_I'm sorry, dear."_

"_Sorry for what?" he asked._

"_Adam, I 'm pregnant."_

_He held her at arms length and looked her in the eye._

"_That's nothing to be sorry for. Those should be tears of joy."_

"_They would be, but with all that's happened, I'm not sure if it's yours." She started to sob again. Adam pulled her close and stroked her hair._

"_No matter what," He assured her. "This will be my child."_

_&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&_

"Adrieanna!" Travis called again.

"Travis, what are you doing? Is something wrong?" She asked as the two men approached the porch.

"You never did what I told you to."

"What was that?" She asked.

"Do remember what we talked about last summer when you were at home?"

"Oh, I don't think that it's really that…"

"It is that important, and if you don't tell Adam now, I will."

"Travis, you wouldn't." She pleaded.

"I will."

"Adrien," Adam interrupted, "I know some of it, if you'll just fill in some of the holes for me."

"Why do you have to do this now? Do you even realize how I feel?" She protested.

"That's your problem, sis, you've been carrying to many burdens and you won't let them go. Yes, you were taken away from your mother. Yes, your father shipped you off because you were a threat to him and his intelligence. Yes, he married various women and they disappeared when you started to get attached to them. Yes, your father married your best friend and then killed her off. Yes, you were raped and had a child who you weren't exactly sure who the father was, and then you lost her. Yes, you were left by the love or your life. Yes, a man who you thought loved you betrayed you. Yes, your promising career went down the drain. But Adrien, you have to move on. You have to let go. You are almost 22 years old. You can't carry these things around for the rest of your life. You have to live your life. If you don't then you'll just be letting all of the people who believe in you down. Do you want to do that?"

She did not answer, she just wiped the tears from her eyes and went inside the house.

Adam tried to follow, but Travis held him back.

"Just leave her alone for a little while, let her soak all of this in."

"Are you sure we should do that?" Adam was extremely skeptical about Travis's instructions.

"Yes, she'll be alright. Just let her think on it." Adam looked up to her bedroom window still not comfortable with leaving her alone.

"Let's go in for a little bit and cool off." Travis suggested.

The two sat down with a glass of tea in the sitting room, both listening intently for a sound coming from upstairs.

"So, Travis," Adam began, "can you tell me what happened to my second child?"

"It wasn't long after you left that I visited her and she told me that she was pregnant again. She was really happy about it, especially since she thought that you were dead. She was hoping for a son. She thought that you would have wanted someone to carry on your name. I stayed with her, and that Gabe character came around a lot. John and Jess were always there, and a few more of her friends from dancing. But as her time drew closer and closer he became less and less present. I brought in the best midwife I could find. But as she was almost due when she found out about Gabe cheating on her, she'd gone home with me for Christmas and witnessed something that she would never talk about. Well, the night that she found him she lost it. She was so close that being upset put her into labor and then things just really went wrong."

Travis's voice cracked, he took a long drink.

"What went wrong?" Adam asked, the silence was killing him.

"We almost lost her in labor. She spent almost two days in labor and delivery took nearly 4 hours. The baby wouldn't cry when he was born."

"Wait a minute," Adam interrupted, a sudden glint in his eye, "It was a boy, I have…I have a son?"

"You did." Travis answered. "He was the sweetest baby. She named him Adam, after you. She said that now she could have her own little Adam that would never, ever leave her. But he little and he was weak, and it was a really cold spring. The first day Adrien slept, but the next she sat in bed and just held him. I don't think she put him down for three days. He tried to make it; he fought. None of us thought that he actually would make it through his first night. The fifth day, he started fading. Adrien knew what was happening, she never let go of him. He died that night in her arms. I really didn't think that she'd make it through. We buried the baby, and that night she disappeared that was the night that she tried to kill herself. Then right after she recovered, she took the job here.

"She left Rebecca in Colorado with me, and then before she left for here, she sent her off to San Francisco to live with Gabrielle and Jasmine. I asked her to come to you about all of this, to help her deal with things that she hadn't before, but I guess she never has. At first, I thought that all of this was because of you, but now that I've seen you with her, I've changed my mind, I don't think that she'd be doing this well if it wasn't for you."

Adam looked up. There were tears streaming down his face. His heart was breaking, mourning the child he never knew.

"I think that it's time to check on her." He quietly suggested.

"Yes, I think it's time you and my sister had a very long talk. If you don't mind, I think I can finish that stall alone."

Adam went up the stairs to Adrien's room. He heard the front door shut and Travis's footsteps on the porch. He opened the door to Adrien's bedroom. She was sitting on the floor leaned up against the bed, still crying.

"Adrien, I just want you to know that I love you." He whispered, as he sat down beside her and put his arm around her. She leaned her head on his shoulder.

"I know you don't want to talk about it, but I really wish you would." He continued. " I wish I'd have found out from you, not like this. I understand you hiding this from me too. I feel horrible about leaving you like that though, but it wasn't either of our faults. Adrien, losing the baby wasn't your fault either. Things like that happen, you know that. I wish I could have met him. I swear, if I ever run into Gabriel Jennings again, I think I will kill him."

"Adam, please…" She interrupted.

"So are we going to talk?" He asked.

She nodded.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Adam asked.

"I just thought that you'd feel guilty, and you'd be angry, and you'd hate me for losing him." She answered.

"Adrien, I'm only angry at myself."

"Why?"

"I shouldn't have ever believed him. I should have gone and gotten you. Our son should have been born here, before we left for San Francisco."

"It's too late now."

"But, it's not too late to move on. Darling, we had two children together, and we lost them, but we still have each other. You have my love and you'll never lose that."

"Do you promise?"

"I promise."

He leaned over and kissed her on the head. She snuggled up to his side for the first time since Rebecca's death.

"Adam, do you think I'll ever be okay? That we'll ever be okay?"

"Darling," He answered. "I know we will."


	24. Chapter 23 : The Hardest Decision

The summer drew to a close. Adrien began to become closer and closer to herself. For a couple weeks after Travis talked to her, she walked around like she was treading on eggshells. The first couple days of school where rather hard, but she had Travis and Adam to pick her back up when she got home.

Adam saw how much better Adrien was doing with Travis around, so he decided to have him stay. The Ponderosa was looking for a foreman anyway…

Adrien was not happy about the idea, but Travis did not have any exact plans about when he was going home. So, he decided to stay. Ben was skeptical about Adam's hire, but Travis proved to be a more than able hand, and despite his age, he commanded the rest of the hands with ease.

Adrien started coming back to herself. She started going back and forth between her home and the Ponderosa on her own, and once again Adam didn't worry every night about whether she would be all right or not the next morning. It's not that she was forgetting Rebecca entirely; she was dealing with it. Things proceeded immensely as she learned to deal with the death of little Adam two and a half years before. With less guilt lying on her heart, Adrien began to walk taller and sit straighter. The day she actually laughed again, Adam had to step outside and say a prayer of thanks with tears of joy in his eyes.

The cool of fall began to settle in, and it was not long before September had almost come to a close. Adrien's birthday rolled around. Adam arranged a private celebration for just the two of them. They had a romantic dinner on the East Hill, overlooking the lake. It did not upset her much seeing it. Secretly, Adam hoped that she was making it through.

That night he finished the sapphire set of jewelry by giving her a matching necklace.

"Oh, Adam, this is beautiful. Why do you keep giving me these beautiful things? I don't deserve it." Adrien exclaimed breathless.

As Adam put it on her, the softness of her skin almost took his breath away. As he let the chain to the necklace drop around her delicate neck, he kissed the curve of it. The quiet groan of pleasure she expressed sent a thrilling chill through his body, making it almost impossible to resist her.

They walked together and talked together for what seemed like only minutes, but upon returning they found that it had been hours. It was the first night since she had arrived in Virginia City that they actually spoke freely to one another, no inhibitions, and nothing to hide. She was free with her feelings and her emotions. She was warm and loving again, and when she smiled, her eyes seemed to outshine every star in the heavens.

That night riding back home, Adam felt almost like he could not take not being with her completely and totally. He was almost impatient to show her how much he loved her, but he wasn't sure how or when that it would be appropriate.

One thing was set in his mind for sure. He had not thought about it in a very long time, but he could not get it out of his mind, even through losing Rebecca and learning the story of little Adam, he could not shake it. Ever since Founder's Day when they buried the time capsule, Adrien had said, "Well, you always could have something to do with it," when he mentioned her not teaching someday and leaving.

He had not really known for sure what she meant, and still did not. He hoped that she meant what he wanted it to mean, but with Adrien, there was usually an underlying meaning.

He tossed and turned the entire night wondering if this was a good idea or not. The market drives were in a week, he was going to show Travis the ropes. He knew that he really did not have to, but he needed this time to think. He might even talk to Travis. Travis always looked over things with a very analytical eye, and his advice had not failed Adam yet, especially when it came to that older sister of his.

But he had to make a decision, before this drive was over. He needed to move to another stage in his life anyway, he knew he did not want to do this without Adrien, but would she want to do this with him. If he even decided to try he knew he'd need to stay in San Francisco for a few days after they got the steers to market. If he were to do this, this time, he would do it right. He would get her something special, a one of a kind deal, something she would regret turning down, if she did, and if he decided to go for it.

I'm not going to sleep for weeks, he thought as he watched the sun rise for the third morning in a row. What am I going to do?

Adam spent the week before he left for the fall drives in a half asleep daze. During the day, his mind was consumed with his wonderings, and at night he was over taken with them. Seeing Adrien did not help. He wanted to spend every minute possible with her, but it was pure torture at times. He would fall asleep in a chair in the sitting room, and he'd wake up to her arms around him and her kiss on his lips. He wanted to take her right then and there, but he'd hold back. He knew that she would not comply, and he respected her feelings too much to even suggest it, but then again when they kissed, he almost could not help it.

Do I just lust her? He asked himself sometimes. No. I love her…I know I do… I just want to show her… I want to show her more than anything else in the world…

He did not want to go to sleep another night without her beside him, and he did not want to wake up another morning alone.

Yes, I'm sure how I feel. He confirmed. But how does she feel?

There was only one way for sure to find out, but if it did not work, he could lose her forever.

He tried to find out by talking about her teaching contract. It was the last year that she had to teach, but he did not know what her plans were after the school year ended. When he asked, the only answer he got was:

"I'm not exactly sure. I might go back home. I think dancing again is out of the picture, but I wonder sometimes what it would be like to be a ballet mistress."

"Really, no thoughts of settling down or having a family?" He asked.

"I'd like to some day."

"Really?"

"Yes, but I don't think that I'm really marriage material." She answered.

"Adrien, don't say that. The right guy is out there."

"Yes, but I'm pretty much happy here, renewing my contract isn't out of the question."

"So have you given up on settling down?"

"No, if someone ever asks me, I'll think about it, but it all depends on if someone proposes or not."

After that, Adam was more confused than ever. He did not know what to do at all. Maybe time apart would help straighten things out. Luckily, he was leaving for the market drives soon…

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Adrien sat on the fence watching Adam saddle Sport for the long trip. Adam had been acting really strange lately; he'd been extremely quiet and withdrawn. Sometimes she could be talking for just a few second and he'd already be completely lost in other thoughts. She wondered why he had been asking strange questions. He actually expected her to know what she was doing when this school year was over. She occasionally wondered if Adam would ever propose to her, but she knew it would never happen. When he asked her to come here with him from Boston, marriage was never mentioned even then. Eventually, he would come to his senses and realize that he did not really love her. She knew that all she to him was the flavor of the month, and luckily there was no other flavors he was interested in. So for now, she would enjoy her time with him, maybe this was her life, someday he'd get married and she'd probably be his mistress or something.

She knew what he really wanted sometimes, but she did not want to end up like she was when little Adam was born. She did not ever want to see those eyes fade again. He had had his father's eyes, and they were so big in that sweet baby head, already so loving, so caring, just like his father. He would have been a wonderful son. She didn't think that she could bear losing any one else she loved, but she'd lose Adam eventually she was convinced of it.

Maybe Adam already wanted to move on and be with someone else, maybe that is why he was asking all those weird questions, hoping that she was leaving. He just wanted her to be gone before he made his move. Well, she would make it easy for him. As soon as this school year was over, she would be out of his hair.

If you love someone, she thought, just let him go…No, not yet… I don't want to yet."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

"Adrien, could you hand me my saddle bags." Adam asked.

"Sure, dear." She answered, a little bit coldly.

"What's wrong?" He asked, surprised at her tone.

"I'm just thinking." She answered.

"About what?"

"Nothing important."

"Dear, if it's gotten you down like this, then it is important."

"It's not important enough to trouble you with."

"Be careful, if you don't tell me, you won't get rid of me for three weeks." He playfully threatened.

He stopped his packing for a moment and wrapped his arms around her.

"Have I told you lately that you're beautiful?" He asked slyly.

"You just did." She smiled and gave him a quick peck on the cheek.

"I love you." He told her, following it with a long, passionate kiss.

"I love you too, darling." She answered. "I'm going to miss you."

"Adam, are you ready to go?" Ben asked, coming outside to see his son off.

"Yes, I am, Pa." Adam answered, quickly letting go of Adrien and putting something in his saddlebags, blushing slightly, "Travis, is everyone ready to head out?"

"Yes." Was the answer.

"Are Hoss and Little Joe waiting on us at the corral?" Adrien saw that what Adam got out of his saddlebags was a roll of money.

"Yes, and so are the rest of the hands." Travis answered again. "Adrien, do you want to give us a hand getting started?"

"What?" Adrien asked surprised.

"Do you want to help us get started?" Travis repeated.

"I don't think that that's a good idea, Travis." Ben interrupted.

"Why not? I used to do this stuff all the time." Adrien stated.

She began to untie Beauty and mounted up.

"Really, Ben, she's good, she taught me almost everything I know about cattle and horses. Adrien taught me how to bust broncs too. She's the best in Colorado Springs." Travis stated

"Travis, let's stop with the bragging or whatever. If you want me to get you guys going, then I'll help."

"Are you sure that this is a good idea?" Adam asked.

"It's fine." Adrien answered. "Let's go"

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

At first, the cattle scattered, and Adrien surprised everyone by how well she was able to round up strays.

"See, what'd I tell you?" Travis bragged to Adam. "You can tell she taught me everything I know."

"At least you're not like your brothers and are too ashamed to admit it." Adrien stated. " Way to be a real man, brother."

"Oh, yes, I'm being a real man." Travis confirmed.

"Well, if we're done here, I better go." Adrien stated.

"If you want, you could go with us." Travis suggested.

"I would, but I have a little thing called a teaching job, and they don't tend to like it when I just take off and stuff like that." She answered.

"I better get going. Be careful, both of you." She told her men, and she rode off.

"Adrien, wait." Adam called, and rode after her. She stopped to let him catch up.

"Adam, actually, I'm glad to get you alone. I wanted to ask you why you're taking so much money with you, for no reason." She told him.

"I have a reason." He told her.

"What?" She asked.

"I have my reasons."

"So you're not telling me?"

"You might find out." He told her.

"Alright. I love you." She started to ride off, back towards home.

"Wait," Adam called back. She turned back one last time.

"What?" She asked.

"There's something I need to talk to you about when I get back."

"Can't we talk now?"

"No, not now."

"The minute you get back then?" She asked.

"The minute I get back." He confirmed, and leaned over to kiss her good-bye. "I love you."

And he rode off to catch up with the herd.


	25. Chapter 24 : The Trouble With Roses

Three weeks later, Adrien sat on the same place on the fence, just waiting for Adam to return. She looked intently toward the western skyline, hoping to see him ride over the horizon. She couldn't wait for him to come riding to her, but then again, with what she thought he was going to say, the longer he took, the longer she could live in the allusion that he loved her.

The last three weeks had been torture for Adrien. She was sure Adam was going to leave her. There was a pull at her heart sometimes, and she couldn't stop crying. She thought she could deal with losing him, but she realized how wrong she was. It had been seven years since they first met, and Adam had only mentioned the 'M' word once, and that had been the end of that conversation. Why would he ever want her anyway? They'd made two children together, and lucky for him, they were baggage no longer. But that wasn't the Adam that she really knew, not the one she'd known in Boston, but everything that had happened in the past few months had changed him too…

She hated being alone lost in these thoughts. Luckily, Adam would be home soon, and all of this could be over with.

Her thoughts were broken by the sound of hooves in the distance. Her heart leapt, but her feelings were still mixed. She longed to see Adam, to feel his arms around her, to kiss him just one last time. The horses drew closer; she could not see Adam or Travis. They drew nearer and nearer, and she still could not see either of them. The men came arrived and were riding all around her, and Adam and Travis were nowhere in sight.

"You lookin' for Adam, Miss Cooper?" one of the hands asked, she thought that they called him Slim, but she was not sure.

"Yes," she answered, "Are he and my brother running behind or something?"

"Miss, we can't find Adam 'atoll, and Travis has stayed back lookin' for him. You're wastin' time waitin' 'ere for them."

"Why, what happened?" She asked, not wanting to believe what was going on.

"We were in Frisco and we were all livin' it up when there was just a big fight and a buncha' people got chased out, and hurt and some got dragged off to jail. No one's exactly sure where Adam went. Travis stayed behind to find where he is, but Frisco's a big town. There's no tellin' if he'll be found or not."

Adrien did not say anything in reply. She got down off the fence and on to Beauty and just road off.

She knew what had happened. He did not even want to bother with telling her goodbye, he was just going to leave and never come back. Well, Adam Cartwright, she thought, I won't be here if you ever do decide to come back...

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

"Adrien, Adrien, are you there?" Travis called at Adrien's door the next morning.

She opened the door, still in her blue dressing gown. Her hair was braided but going in a thousand different directions from tossing and turning all night. There were dark circles under her eyes from a lack of sleep. Her eyes were bloodshot from crying. Upon answering the door, she leaned on the frame because she could barely stand up.

"What do you want?" She asked, wanting to just be left alone.

"I have some bad news, sis. I think you really ought to know."

"Don't tell me. I know what he's told you to tell me." She answered.

"Adrien, he hasn't told me anything. Just go inside. I really need to tell you something."

She sat down on the settee in the sitting room. Travis sat on the coffee table across from her.

"Travis, there's no point in dragging this out. I know Adam has wanted to leave me for a very long time. He probably has another girl waiting for him in San Francisco. He's just waiting to bring her home until I leave in April. And don't worry; I am leaving." She took a piece of paper from the coffee table and handed it to her brother. "I wrote it last night. It's my letter of resignation; give it to Ben when you go back to the ranch. After this school year is over, I'm leaving so I never have to think about or see Adam Cartwright again."

"Adrien, I'm afraid you're going to wish you'd never said that." Travis told her.

"Why, Travis, why don't you just tell me?" She pleaded, so the torture would end and her fears would be confirmed.

"Adrien, we suspect that Adam maybe dead."

Suddenly, it felt like a ton of bricks had fallen on her. She could not think. She almost could not breath. Every thing started to shake. She started to shake. Then, everything went black.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

When Adrien woke up, she was lying on the settee. Travis was wiping her face off with a cold rag.

"Sis, are you alright?"

"Yes, I think I am." A tear ran down her cheek.

"Travis, are you sure?"

"No, not exactly, I was shown a body, but I'm not positive that it was him."

"Travis, please just leave me alone, go back to the ranch, take my letter to Ben, and just leave me alone."

"Adrien, I'm not so sure I should do that."

"Travis, leave me."

"Will you at least promise not to hurt yourself?"

"I promise, I won't."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Later that evening, there was another knock at Adrien's door. She opened it find Ben.

"Miss Cooper, I really think we should talk about this." He said holding up the letter she had sent with Travis.

"What is there to talk about? My decision was made before today anyway. It's time that I move on with my life. And today's news only confirms that."

"I wish you'd reconsider, we aren't even sure if Adam's really dead, you've done so well here. Better than we ever expected of you."

"Why don't you come in?"

They stepped inside the sitting room. Ben was stunned at the workmanship inside, this being the first time he had ever set foot in this house. And it was the first thing Adam had built since he'd come back from college and the last thing also. He had no idea that his son could do such beautiful work.

"Ben, for a long time I have dreamed of settling down and having a family with your son, and for six years I've let that dream live and grow, as I've prayed and prayed for it to come true. But it never has, and it doesn't matter if Adam is really dead or not. I know he'll never want to marry me. I've spent six years trying to make a dream come true that I knew all along was unreachable. I love him with everything I have in me, and that's why this hurts so much. I have to go on, or I'll die waiting for the love of my life to let me be his. I can't stand it that he's gone now, but that's even more reason for me to leave. When I first came here I believed that he was dead, and I thought being close to his family would ease the pain, but now, I'm not so sure. I doubt that I'll ever get though this, and I know I'll never stop loving him. But I can't live in unreachable dreams."

"I understand, and I'm glad you're staying till the end of this school year." Ben answered. "And for what it's worth, I wish you would have ended up marrying Adam. I thought that you were the one for him. You put a fire in him that I'd never seen before. He really did love you, and probably the whole reason he never asked you to marry him was just because he was scared you'd say no, and then he'd lose you for good."

"Thank you, Ben." Adrien replied. "But if you don't mind I think I'm going to turn in. It's been a long day."

"I understand, but I'm keeping my hopes up until we know something for sure. But to your credit, I think you're taking this rather well."

"No, Ben, I'm not. I'm scared. I can't fell a thing, not a damn thing."

"I can't either dear. I know it's happened, but it hasn't hit me yet. And to tell you the truth, I don't want it too."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

The next morning, the truth still was yet to hit Adrien. It took her some time to realize that Adam may not ever come riding up to that house again. Even though she expected never to see him again, she never expected this to be the reason why. She could not stand to think about the possibility that he was gone. She did not want to get out of bed, ever again. She really just wanted to lie there and die. Maybe he would want her, maybe even need her in the afterlife.

However, another knock at her door, forced her to rise.

Who would be here this early in the morning? She thought. It's probably Travis. Doesn't he get it? When I say I want to be left alone that means I want to be left the hell alone.

She quickly got dressed. She did not want to even get up, but she knew that if she were dressed, then Travis would not give her so much grief and leave her alone.

She quickly went downstairs, and quickly opened the door.

"Travis what didn't I tell you to…" She began, but she found no one at the door to hear her. There was only a long stem red rose with a note tied to the stem.

It read:

_A rose's beauty could never compare _

_To stars in your eyes, _

_Or the light in your smile._

_I long for you with the power of ten thousand suns, _

_And the light of a million stars._

_I wish for a way to show you my love_

_And fulfill your every desire._

_Let me show you my love, tonight._

_Meet me on the east hill at sunset._

_And maybe…._

_It'll become our special place from now till the end of time_

_Love Always,_

_Your Secret Admirer_


	26. Chapter 25 : Always

Adrien got dressed with care that night. She curled her hair with the greatest care. She pulled it up the way Adam always liked it, half up in a twist held by the sapphire comb that he had given her. She wore the earrings, the bracelet, and the necklace too. Whoever this was that was in love with her needed to know first of all that her Adam was not so soon forgotten. She slipped on the dress that Adam had given her on the first birthday that she spent in Virginia City. This was only the third time for her to feel the silk and the taffeta on her skin. Never had she laid eyes on a dress so rich, and luxurious, she was always almost scared to put it on. There were many times she wanted to put it on just to feel it, and look in the mirror, but then she would realize how foolish she was being and put it away. It was often that she would call herself a fool aloud, not caring if there was anyone to hear her or not. She could not stand to be so vain; she knew what it could do to a person.

She had seen so many girls be taken over and ruined by it. They would think that they were too beautiful, too talented for any misfortune to befall them. There would be men who would flock to them just because of who they were, no matter if they just a soloist or the corps de ballet. These men thrived on their insecurities, just because they had something to prove. They would live vicariously; they would play men and keep them intrigued with their wiles and their abilities because of their dancing. And them they would get into trouble and end up alone with no friends and no money, and no way out.

Adrien was once like that, but she ended up being with someone who would save her. After her first accident she vowed not to let it happen again. All vanity was washed from her life. She lived, breathed, and danced for her daughter and the memory of her son, and never far from her mind, the memory of her lover.

That lover was again just a memory, and a beautiful memory at that. She refused to move on again, she would never love someone else again. For love only brings pain, and this pain was a sweet pain, a sweet pain of release, for before sunrise the next day, she would be released to be with Adam forever, wherever he was.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

She was untying Beauty when Travis rolled up to the house in a carriage. She could recognize it as being one of the Ponderosa's carriages.

"Do you think that you'll get there by sunset in one piece riding there in that dress?" He asked.

"Probably not, but whoever this is needs to be told what I think and how brash it is to prey on a woman who might as well be Adam Cartwright's widow."

"So you admit that you do mourn for him."

"I never denied that. Why are you here anyway, and how did you know where I'm going?" She asked, very defensive.

"I know who it is and what he wants Adrien. I'm going to take you there."

"Why? So you can protect me? I don't need you to, little brother." She spit back at him.

"Fine, but just let me take you up there, and then I promise I'll leave."

"Alright." She agreed and climbed into the carriage.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

They arrived at the top of the hill right as the sun was going down. There was a blanket laid out under a tree. There was wine chilling and candles lit. She stepped down from the carriage.

"Do you have every thing?" Travis asked.

She nodded.

"Well, I'll see you later." And he drove away.

She turned to watch him go, amazed at how her usually overprotective brother was just leaving her there.

Adrien took a closer look at the blanket. She noticed a basket up next to the tree. Whoever it was had already been there, and it looked like they were trying very hard to impress her.

"Travis, what in the world are you thinking?" She whispered, suddenly realizing that all she really had was bravado.

"Oh God, what am I going to do. I should learn not to get into these situations. Adam, see. You shouldn't have left. It's you that keeps me out of these scrapes. I need you. God, Adam, I need you. I need you more than anything, more than anything in this world. I love you. I have since the day I found you swimming in the stream. I thought my life was over when you left me in Boston. But when I came here, you taught me to have hope again, and then I loved you even more. Adam, I don't know if I can do this, live without you. You're what holds me together. You're what makes me even want to get up in the morning. You've kept me going and you've gotten me through so much. I don't know what to do. I know someone is already expecting me to move on, but I can't."

She fell to her knees in tears.

"Do you hear me? I can't." She cried out hoping the wind would carry the words to him, wherever he was. "I'll never love anyone else but you. I can't go on. Can't you hear me? I love you. Do you hear me? Can you hear me, Adam? Do you even…"

Her tears stole her voice from her. She fell into violent sobs, with her head in her hands. It had hit her now. He was really gone and every one knew it. The love of her life was gone…

"Yes, darling, I hear you. " A voice said from behind her.

Adrien's head jerked up. She did not just hear what she did. She stood, afraid to look behind her. He couldn't be there, he just couldn't. She wanted to turn around, but she couldn't bring herself to.

"I'm not crazy, I'm not hearing things out of thin air. I'm not." She took a deep breath. "I'm not."

"It's okay, dear, you're not hearing things. Please turn around."

She did. And when she did she found Adam standing behind her, dressed in his grey jacket, black slacks, a white shirt, a black string tie, and his nice black hat.

"Am I…am I really…am I really seeing…am I really seeing you?" She asked, stunned.

Adam nodded.

"Then…" She stammered on, taking a couple steps back from him. "…Then I'm…I'm seeing a ghost…that's what you are. I'm not crazy; you're just a ghost. You're just a ghost."

"No, dear, I'm not." Adam answered stepping towards her, offering his hand.

"Please, please, don't do this to me. Don't trick me. I've been hurt enough." She pleaded again, but this time not retreating from him.

"I know that you've been hurt, and I'm going to undo all of that." Adam said as calm as he could be, realizing what Adrien was fighting inside.

She reached out to take his hand, but drew back before touching him.

"It's all right, dear." He said, almost in a whisper, taking a small step closer. "It's really me. I'm all right. There's a lot I have to tell you."

She held out her hand for Adam to take it. He did take her hand, grabbed the other, and kissed both. Adrien's hands ran up his arms, over his shoulders, to his neck; her fingertips brushed over his cheeks and his lips.

"Is it true, it really true? You really are here." She asked, in wonder.

"Yes, I'm here. You can believe anything you want to, but I'm here and there's really nothing you can do about it." He answered, back to his usual slightly sarcastic tone.

She wrapped her arms around him, and hugged him as tightly as she could.

"Oh, Adam, I was so scared. I didn't know what in the world to do without you." She quickly kissed him on the cheek and let him go. "Are you really alright?"

"Yes, I'm fine. I've had a very trying few days, and I'm really rather worn out, but I'm fine."

"Darling, if you're tired, then you shouldn't be here, there's someone who wanted to meet me here anyway, why don't you go home and get some rest, and I'll tell this person off like I planned, and I'll come and see you in the morning."

"No, Adrien." He answered.

"But you're tired, dear." She answered.

"Adrien, I'm the one who asked you out here tonight." He told her.

"What?" She exclaimed surprised. "You mean you came to my house this morning, and left me a note, letting me worry, and worry…and worry about you instead of knocking on my door and telling me that you're alright?"

"I thought it'd be a little more romantic like this." He answered with a sheepish smile. "Forgive me?"

A smile slowly spread across her face. "Alright, I might as well, I couldn't possibly be mad at you right now anyway."

He led her to the picnic blanket, and they sat down across from each other.

"Would you like some wine, dear?" He asked as if nothing had happened at all.

"Sure." She reached out for the glass that Adam had just poured. They sat there for a moment wondering what to say, or do. Adrien watched Adam's every move. He seemed nervous and scared, every move he made was so unsure. This was definitely not the confident, smooth, and suave Adam Cartwright she knew and had fallen in love with.

Maybe he is still going to leave me. She thought.

"Pa told me that you're not going to be teaching here again next year. Is this true?"

"Yes, Adam, I did turn in my resignation." She answered, studying her glass of wine.

"Why, Adrien."

"I didn't really have much to stay for at the time."

"Travis told me that you had it written before he came to tell you."

"I did, I wrote it while you guys were gone." She answered.

"So you're leaving."

"No."

"I don't understand." Adam began swirling his wine nervously.

"I don't know where I'm going or what I'm doing after April. All I know is that I won't be teaching in Virginia City anymore after this school year is over. I have a lot of decisions to make."

"So you're going to stay?" Adam asked still confused.

"I don't know, Adam. I just really don't know right now."

"Will you let me know when you do know?"

"Of course I will."

They sat in silence for another little while. Adam got out a dessert and revealed that it was a chocolate truffle cake, Adrien's favorite. He'd brought it carefully with him from San Francisco, just for her.

"Adam, why are you doing all this?" Adrien asked. "I admit, you gave me a really good scare, but I'm not upset at you. I'm just happy you're all right. You don't have to go through all of this."

"But, I want to, is anything wrong with that?"

"No, of course not, but there's got to be some sort of reason…"

"Can't I just treat my girl to something nice every once in a while?" He asked.

"I guess, but…" Adam gently put his finger over her mouth and took her hand.

"Why don't we go for a walk, darling?" He asked and Adrien obliged.

They walked arm in arm following no trail and going to no particular destination.

"You do look beautiful tonight, darling." Adam commented on her dress. "I never thought that that dress would suit you so well."

"Well, you've never been too terrible at choosing these things, and you've always had a descent sense of style yourself, but I almost feel too fancy when I wear it, no woman around here has a dress like this."

" I know. That's why I originally had it made, so my Adrien would be the envy of every woman in town, and nothing would keep my beautiful Adrien from getting noticed."

"Adam, don't you think I've spent enough time in the lime light?"

"You're still as shy as ever aren't you?"

"You always knew that if I could dance and no one see, I'd have done it for the rest of my life."

"I know dear, but it's hard not to want to show you off."

"I'm not a trophy."

"I know, but I still feel like I've won something."

They walked in silence for a little while.

"Adam, you still haven't told me what happened to you, what delayed you, what caused all of this heartache and heartbreak. Darling, what happened?"

"It's a long story, Adrien."

"I'm listening. Now tell me."

Adam took a deep breath.

"Adrieanna, there was someone looking for me."

"Who?"

"A man who wanted something that I had."

"Why, Adam, what happened? What have you gotten yourself into?"

"He just wanted something I had very badly Adrien."

"Why didn't you just give it to him?"

"Because it was rightfully mine." He answered, his voice surprisingly cold about the matter, like it was distant, not really wanting to remember

"Adam, nothing is worth your life."

"This was, and I didn't have a choice. I took an elixir that made me appear dead, he came to make sure I was and the police took him in there. I helped get him in jail."

"I still don't understand why you had to do it."

"This has been going on for a long time dear. I couldn't let anyone know what I'd done. It would have ruined it."

"Adam, why does he hate your family so much?" She asked, prying for the truth

"It's a long story dear."

"I want to know…all of it."

"Can it wait, darling, look at where we've ended up."

Adrien hadn't noticed where they were going, but now they were in the clearing where Adam had bravely professed how much he still loved her, and finally broke down the walls that she'd built around her heart.

"Do you remember this place?" Adam asked.

"How could I forget?"

"It seems like every important event that's happened in my life has happened here. I was here when Joe was born. I was here when Marie died. I was here when Pa convinced me that college couldn't wait any longer. I was here when I opened your wedding invitation, and it was here that I convinced you to love me again."

Adrien sat down on the bench that was there, taking in all that was around her, wondering if trees really could remember.

Adam bent down on one knee in front of her.

"Adrien, my love, there was a time when I believed that there was no one in this world that would ever truly love me, and that I was meant to be alone and doomed to live though my books and my own imagination. I went to college hoping to fill the void in my life by learning all I could and hopefully work myself into an early grave. But when I least expected it, I met you. You were so shy, and innocent, and beautiful, and full of life, just like a flower opening in the morning sun for the first time. It was truly love at first sight. Then I found that you weren't only talented, but intelligent, and longing for the knowledge that this society denies you. I found that through all your life's tragedy, you hadn't lost your spirit, and you had a heart as pure as white snow. That inspired me. I began to not only love you for your beauty, but for your mind. Then, you gave me my daughter, I saw you as a mother, and I loved you even more. When I thought I'd lost you, I didn't want to live anymore. I thought the heartbreak would kill me, but when you came here, I began to hope again.

"All this time that I've known you and loved you, I've been scared to take you as my own. You're like a butterfly more beautiful flitting from flower to flower than being trapped in a jar, and it's too selfish to dull that beauty by trapping it. It's like that with all beautiful and magnificent things, but what I've decided is that, I must be selfish."

He reached for something in his jacket pocket.

"What I'm trying to say is… "

He opened the small black velvet box he pulled from his pocket and revealed a diamond ring set in silver with two sapphires. Adrien gasped in complete surprise.

"…I love you so much I can't take it sometimes. I can't stand waking up another morning without you beside me. Adrieanna Mycheala Cooper, will you marry me?"


	27. Chapter 26 : Goodnight Love

Adrien sat there on the bench speechless for a moment. The question rang in her ears. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. She'd imagined it a thousand times, but she never thought that it's actually happen.

She looked at Adam's expectant face in front of her. She leaned down and tried to kiss him lightly, but she couldn't hold passion back. Adam could feel arm tears streaming down her cheeks. The kiss was so long and deep that he had to catch his breath.

"I can't believe it…." She whispered and trailed off into her own thoughts.

"What is it, Adrien?" Adam asked.

"It's just that this morning, I…I woke up in…in a living hell." She said, beginning to tear up. "I thought that you were gone. I felt like I didn't have anything left to live for. I felt like a shell without you….And ….And then tonight….You set up this beautiful, romantic thing…and then tell me that you're alive. I didn't think that my heart could get any fuller, and ….and now this…"

There were tears streaming down her face now.

"So what is wrong?" Adam asked. "Do you not want to marry me?"

"No, Adam it's not that."

"Then why are you crying?"

"I'm just so happy."

"So…"

She kissed him again and whispered "Yes" in his ear.

He slipped the ring on her finger. He hugged her close to him.

"Thank you, Adrien. Thank you so much." He said over and over again, tears of joy fell from his eyes.

"How could I say no? There's no way I could live without you."

They walked all the way back to Adrien's house and there they uncorked another bottle of wine. Adam told Adrien of how he was being hunted down for the very jewels she had on her finger. Adam told her that the man that wanted them did because they were so perfect, some of the most perfect jewels ever found. He told her that he had to make everyone believe he was dead in order to get out of San Francisco undetected.

"You did all of that just for me?" She asked surprised at what her went through.

"This ring had to be perfect, just like you." He answered.

"Darling, you shouldn't tell such lies."

"Who says that I'm lying?"

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

The next night, Adrien joined the Cartwrights for dinner. Ben, Hoss, and Little Joe sat each wondering what was going on. Adam had quickly arranged for Hop Sing to serve a very nice dinner. He wore the red shirt Adrien loved but was a rare sight. Adam was not the only one dressed unusually, Adrien wore a new dress that Adam had brought back from San Francisco. It was a blue satin gown with an elegant lace on the collar.

Adam loved the way she looked in that dress. Buying a dress for a girl had never crossed his mind before he met Adrien, but he always wanted her to look beautiful. She always had deprived herself of so many beautiful things before. She only wore jewelry when it was absolutely necessary, and her evening gowns were always of simple patterns and basic colors. She was beautiful in anything, but Adam always thought she deserved so much more than she gave herself. This time he'd gotten her a simpler dress, hoping she'd wear it more often than the last one. She still looked stunning in it, and tonight he couldn't take his eyes off her.

All through dinner, Adam couldn't help but smile at her, and Adrien couldn't help but giggle every time that he did.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd think that you two were drunk." Ben commented, amazed at his son's unusual silliness.

"I'm sorry, Pa," Adam answered, almost laughing, "I don't mean to cause a disruption."

"Yes, be careful Adam, " Adrien quipped back with a giggle. "You might make Hop Sing think that you're laughing at his cooking and make him mad."

"And no one would want that." Travis countered with a smile. The whimsical attitude of his sister was becoming contagious.

"I know," Adrien added, "just imagine if we made him mad enough to quit…."

"Then Adam would have to cook." Travis interrupted.

"Oh God, we'd all starve." Hoss said, deathly serious.

"Oh Lord help us all." Ben replied catching the attitude of the room also.

The entire table erupted in a roar of laughter.

After dinner, everyone adjourned to the great room. Ben went to the desk and poured himself and Adam a brandy. They then rejoined Adrien and the 2 boys around the fireplace. Adam sat beside Adrien on the settee. He reached to grab her left hand, and she shuffled his into a position to cover hers up. Ben took notice of another strange behavior between them.

"Well, I must say, Miss Cooper, it is not very often that we have you here for dinner on a Sunday evening."

Adrien smiled.

"I'm sorry if it was an inconvenience to you, Mr. Cartwright, since we're being so formal." She grinned, and Adam laughed.

"I'm sorry, Pa," Adam added, "I guess I should have asked before bringing her."

"Don't worry about it, son. It's not that big of a deal." Ben answered. "It's not like we don't enjoy having her around."

"I know," Adam answered, putting his free arm around her shoulders, "I like having her around her too." He smiled at her with a rather goofy smile and she giggled as she smiled back.

"What is with you two tonight?" Ben asked, seriously beginning to wonder if his son was drunk. "You're both worse than a couple of thirteen year olds tonight."

"I know," Joe joined in. "I'm tired of watching you two's mushiness."

Travis laughed loudly. "Why don't you two get married already so we don't have to see it all the time." He chided

Adam and Adrien couldn't help but laugh at that one.

"I'm sorry, Pa." Adam answered. "We're just this way because Adrien and I have finally come to an agreement."

"What sort of agreement Adam?" Ben inquired.

"Actually, it's that agreement that is the reason that Adrien is here tonight, and also the reason that Travis was invited too." Adam answered, again, smiling at Adrien.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. Hoss got up to answer it and found Mr. Welch the telegraph operator standing there.

"Oh, Hello, Mr. Welch" Hoss greeted.

"Won't you please come in?" Ben invited from his chair in the great room.

"I'm sorry, but I can't stay," Mr. Welch answered, taking a piece of paper from his jacket. "This telegraph was just marked as urgent, so I thought that I'd better deliver it tonight."

"Oh, well thank you, Mr. Welch" Ben answered, rising to take the paper from the man. "I greatly appreciate your consideration for me good man. I wasn't expecting a telegram though. I wonder who it's from?"

"Actually, it's not for you, Mr. Cartwright. It's for Miss Cooper." The old man then looked at Adrien. "It's another one from San Francisco."

Adrien rose, and took the telegram from Mr. Welch.

"Thank you. Mr. Welch." She said as she opened up the envelope and read the telegram quickly.

"Will there be a reply, Miss Cooper. They'd like one back tonight" He asked.

"Yes," she answered. "Tell them that I will send them a full reply with my decision in the morning."

"Yes, Miss Cooper."

"Thank you," Adrien answered, and reached into her purse and handed the man a few coins.

"Good evening, Mr. Welch" Ben said as he showed him to the door.

"Good evening everyone." Mr. Welch answered, as he went out the front door.

"So, Adrien" Adam asked. "Who needs a decision from San Francisco?"

"The San Francisco Ballet Company" She answered, looking down at the floor.

"What?" Adam asked in amazement.

"I have been offered a position there as a principle dancer. They've offered me the position before, but I've always turned it down. But this time, it came while you were gone and they'd sweetened the deal by offering me the position as head choreographer too. At the time, we all thought that you were dead, so I responded, just to ask questions. I told them that I didn't want to dance, so they want me as head choreographer."

"So what did the telegram say" Adam asked.

"They wanted to know if I'd come to a decision yet."

"That is a great opportunity for you, Adrien." Ben added in. "You really should consider it. It's not like you have anything holding you back. You're not held back by your teaching contract anymore. You've already turned in your resignation. There's nothing holding you here."

"I was seriously considering it, but considering recent events…" Adrien smiled as she looked at Adam and trailed off. Adam squeezed her hand tightly.

"Recent events…." Ben thought aloud. "Do you mean the agreement that you have come to with Adam?"

"Yes," Adrien answered, "That's precisely it." She smiled at Adam again and they both giggled just a little.

"So what is this decision that you two have come to?" Travis asked, tired of the suspense.

"Well, Adrien and I…" Adam started.

He then looked at Adrien. "Do you want to tell them?" He whispered to her.

"No, go ahead." She whispered back, beaming.

"Are you sure?" He asked still whispering.

"Yes, I love to hear you say it!"

"Ok."

"Will you just tell us already?" Ben yelled, his patience had run out.

"Pa, as you know, Adrien and I have been thru a lot together and we have a lot of history, and I care for her very much. So last night, I asked Adrien to marry me, and she said yes." Adam announced beaming. He no more got the words out of his mouth, than the couple was drowned with hugs and congratulations.

The rest of the night was spent talking about future plans. Of which, they really hadn't made any yet. But many ideas were discussed.

Later that evening, Adam took Adrien home.

"Shall I see you tomorrow, my future wife?" Adam asked holding close and giving her a kiss.

"If you want to see me, then you'll know where I'll be, my future husband." She answered, kissing him back.

"Good night, love."

"Good night"

Adrien fell asleep that night with it all still ringing in her ears. She couldn't believe that for the second night in a row, she was actually falling asleep with a ring on her finger and a smile on her lips.

But more than ever she couldn't believe that she was going to be Mrs. Adam Cartwright.

He actually loves me. She thought as she fell asleep. He wasn't lying. He really loves me. He's loved me all along. All this time, and now he's finally mine. 


	28. Chapter 27: The End of an Era

The fall dragged into winter. Adam had many things to do at the Ponderosa, so there wasn't much time for wedding plans. Adam didn't want Adrien doing any heavy planning until after the school year was over, but Adrien couldn't help it. She knew what she wanted her dress to look like, and what kind of flowers she wanted. She also knew that she wanted her entire family there, even her family from the mountains in Virginia, and hopefully all their friends from Boston.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Adam was very hesitant to set a date for the wedding. He just kept telling her that he wanted them both to be free to sit down and plan it. He wanted to concentrate on it, and he wanted to be a part of it.

"Why is it that all this wedding stuff just gets turned over automatically to the bride and I get locked up. They just don't understand that someone around here has to keep you under control." Adam would say, with a coy grin, he'd always pull her close and kiss her forehead when he said this. No matter what he said Adrien knew that he really didn't mean it. He just wanted to be a part of this. But Adam never let her know that he just loved the way she smiled when she talked about it alll, and he didn't want to miss a single one.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

The winter snows were heavy on the Ponderosa. For Christmas, Adam made arrangements for Adrien at the Ponderosa. He and Travis surprised her by bringing her sorrel mare, Duchess, from Colorado. She was ecstatic, but of course, even the smallest thing these days brought tears of joy to her eyes.

Adam's gift for her that night was much more special. He'd ordered a set of all of Adrien's favorite novels, along with all of Shakespeare's plays in beautiful leather-bound editions.

"Oh, Adam, you do too much for me." She exclaimed, kissing him.

"No, darling," He answered as he kept her close to him. "I don't do enough for you."

"But Adam, all this expense and all that you've done for me already, and this." She showed him her ring. "This is more than I ever could have asked for at all, and all that you went through for me to have it. You shouldn't give me more."

"Darling, I have and I will, I'll give you everything I have and everything I have in me. And there's nothing you can do about it."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

The snows at the top of the Sierras melted in late February, breaking a long and cold winter a little early. By the middle of March, the grass was a bright, vibrant green, the trees were budding, and there were flowers opening up at every turn.

This spring, Adrien was filled with the fever almost as much as her students, but she realized that in a short while it would all be over. She'd be their teacher no longer.

"Travis, I don't know what to feel." She said one day when her brother visited her in the schoolhouse. "It's a new beginning for me all over again. I'll finally be with the man I love, and I can have the life I've dreamed of, but it's so hard to leave this. I love teaching, and I don't really want to leave it."

"But you want to marry Adam, don't you?" Travis asked.

"Yes, more than anything, but I'm going to miss seeing these faces every morning, especially the way they light up when they really get something for the first time."

"Well you can't marry Adam and teach, sis."

"I can give up teaching, but I'm going to miss it. It's like the end of something great, but …

"…it's the beginning of something even better?" Travis asked.

"Yes, it is."

"Adrien, you have nothing to be afraid of, and these feelings are nothing. Don't you remember doing the same thing when you left the ballet?"

"Yes, but I was heartbroken then, and now I'm so full of happiness that I don't know what to do with it all. Shouldn't I feel bad at all about leaving this?" She asked.

"No, you don't have to, but I think it'll catch up with you, but then you'll look to your future once again, and forget all about it."

"How do you know that?"

"Well, sis, five minutes ago, you didn't want to leave this school, but then you looked to Adam, and you wanted to go on. You'll be fine. Just don't forget what you just did, and never stop doing it. Never stop looking to Adam, sis. If you follow him, I don't think that he'll ever steer you wrong."

Adrien looked out the window, while she thought about what her brother had just told her.

"Little brother, how did you get so wise?" She asked.

"I learned from the wisdom gained by those before me."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

"Come on, ride 'im, Travis!" Hoss yelled out from the fence rail.

The sorrel mare was bucking with all she had. Adrien sat on the fence beside Adam and watched as the horse threw Travis to the ground. He got up and shook the dust from his chaps. He went to sit down on the fence beside his sister.

"You know little brother, I remember you saying once that you could mark out on any bronc, no matter how wild it was." Adrien teased.

"I'm standing by it." Travis answered, his cheeks reddening more from blushing.

"So why don't you stand by it?" Adrien asked, still teasing.

"I do when I feel it's necessary."

"Sure, Excuses, excuses."

"You know, I remember you saying the same thing once." Travis countered. "Do you want to live up to it?"

"Travis, you know that I quit being so childish long ago." She answered.

They heard hooves hit the ground, and watched as Little Joe took his turn on the mare.

"She's such an easy one too." Adrien smarted off.

"Then why don't you get a pair off chaps and do it yourself."

"No, she's worn down. If I go in there, I want a fresh one."

Joe hit the ground. Adam was next.

"Hey, Adam why don't you let the lady take care of her?" Travis called out.

"That lady's not setting foot in here." Adam answered.

"Travis, why don't you hand me that set of chaps over there?" Adrien pointed to the extra pair on the fence.

"They might be too long for you." Travis told her, examining the chaps.

"When have I had a pair that wasn't too long?" She smarted off.

Travis brought them to her.

Adam's ride began and after a few minutes the mare finally gave in. Adrien had had enough time to put on the chaps over the jeans she was already wearing and return to her perch on the fence.

"Well, it looks like you get your fresh one." Travis stated.

"Yep. I do. It's time to show you boys how it's really done."

Adam walked over to the fence and stood in front of her so she couldn't mount up.

"What do you think you're doing?" He asked.

"I've decided that I'm going to help out. You know, if I'm going to be a part of this family then I need to start pulling my weight around here."

"Then this isn't how you need to do it." Adam told her.

"Adam, darling, it's alright, I have experience. I know what I'm doing." She assured him. "Besides, I'm betting Travis ten dollars that I can bust this one in one try."

"I knew you were my favorite sister for something." Travis exclaimed in the background, laughing so hard he almost fell off the fence.

"Adrien, I don't want you getting hurt." Adam told her.

"It's not like I haven't done this before, Adam. Just ask Travis."

"What's going on here?" Ben's voice came from behind Adrien.

"Don't worry Pa. I'm taking care of it." Adam answered.

"Teacher wants to bust a bronc, Pa." Little Joe called out. "And Adam won't let her do it."

"Adrien, I don't think that that's a wise decision. Bronc busting is very dangerous and…" Ben started explaining.

"Ben, I know." Adrien interrupted. "I've done this before. I taught Travis everything he knows."

"You didn't teach me everything." Travis called back.

"Okay, I taught him almost everything he knows." Adrien answered.

"Mr. Cartwright, with all due respect sir. I think you should let her do it." Travis spoke up. "She's good… at least that is … for a laugh."

The three of them stood in a circle and argued about what Adrien should do. Meanwhile, the hands had a hold on the buckskin gelding, and if someone didn't get on soon, they'd have to turn him loose, and then he could be lost maybe forever.

The horse was a beautiful specimen. He probably was not older than five, and had definitely not had a rider stay on his back ever. However, this horse had a look in him that he had brains. He knew what was going to happen, and he didn't want it, but he wasn't afraid of it either. She knew that as long as she kept a light touch, they would eventually understand each other.

The men were still arguing amongst each other about what she should do. She walked up to the gelding. He raised is head as she got closer. She stroked his neck a couple times until she felt the tension in his muscles ease. She let him smell her hands, and his scent on her hands. Then she stepped in the stirrups and mounted and the hands let go.

The gelding bucked long enough to get everyone's attention, and for Adam and Ben to throw a fit. He didn't buck hard, and he wasn't violent. He just seemed uncomfortable. She had no trouble hanging on, and just for Travis she made sure that her feet were above the points of his shoulders every time his feet hit the ground.

Travis was just getting started cheering her on good when he stopped bucking. The gelding took the pace of a trot and they went around the corral a few times before Adrien spurred him into a lope for a few more rotations, and slowed him down again. She reined him to a stop in front of the Cartwrights and Travis.

"So, have the men come to a decision yet on what the innocent, incompetent, fragile woman is going to do yet?" She asked, sarcastic, but angry at the same time.

"How did you do that?" Adam asked in amazement.

"I rode him, big deal." She answered, still slightly angry with him, and gloating at the fact that she'd floored the boys.

"Really, how did you do that? That's a five-year-old gelding. No one's been able to ride him for three years, and you do it in the first try. How'd you do it?" Adam urged.

"Maybe it's something in the way that I go in there to befriend not defeat. It's hard to explain. I've tried to teach Travis this, but he doesn't even get it." She explained.

"There you go, guys." Travis piped up. "Adrieanna Cooper, a regular horse whisperer." He patted his sister on the back. She smiled at him. She'd proved everyone but him wrong. He'd believed in her, she thought that Adam would, but she guessed that she underestimated him. It hurt that he didn't believe that she could do it, but she also knew that he wouldn't want to see her hurt.

"Ben, is it alright if this one gets a place in the barn for a little while. He needs for me to work him daily before any of this really sets in." Adrien asked.

"Sure, I'll have Little Joe work him tomorrow morning." Ben answered.

"No, it's going to need to be me for a little while. He needs to get used to the idea of being ridden, then we'll get him used to the idea of different people. It'll be best if it's just me that does any handling with him for a few days." She answered.

"Why is that?" Hoss asked, slightly confused.

"Right now, I'm the only one he trusts." Adrien answered, dismounting. She took the horse's reins and led him towards the gate.

"Just put him in the end stall in the barn." Ben called after her.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Adrien spent a lot of time brushing the gelding that evening. It took some time for him to get used to it, but eventually he found that he liked it.

Adam stood back for a long time and watched as Adrien worked with the gelding. It was almost funny to him that she had shown all of them up. He felt bad about the way he had ordered her around, but he did not want her to get hurt. Was that such a horrible thing?

He kept watching her. She spoke so softly to this horse, almost as if it was a child. It was strange. The more she talked to this horse, the more personal her conversation became. She began to say things that Adam had never heard her say before. Things that bothered her greatly, things that she could not stand, and things that hurt her: they were all there falling onto a horse's ears. It seemed almost like he understood and it was like he was replying with a soft knicker every time she needed and answer or a comment interjected.

Was this what she meant by befriend and not defeat? He wondered. Or is this just crazy? This is crazy. Does she just feel that she can't talk to me? Or is it that she just doesn't want to tell me?

Adrien never realized that there was someone else in the barn with her until Adam walked up behind her and laid his arm around her shoulders. She shrugged to make his arm fall.

"What was that for?" He asked surprised.

"I just don't feel like it right now." She answered. She was still a little bit angry about the way he tried to control her earlier that day.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm just not in the mood, Adam." She answered, and continued brushing the horse.

"Is this about today?" He asked.

"Maybe it is, maybe it isn't."

"Adrien, I know what it is, but I just don't know what I'd do if you got hurt. Is that so horrible?"

"No, but you didn't have to say things the way you did." She stopped brushing the horse for a second. "You made me feel inferior, like I'm just not capable of what I've done my entire life. How do you think that makes me feel?"

"I'm sorry, baby." He gently hugged her and kissed her cheek. "I was wrong, I should have never underestimated you. Can you forgive me?"

"I don't know. That really hurt. You don't believe in me."

"I do believe in you, but I'm also very protective of you."

"Adam, it has been a year since my father shot me. You've treated me like a porcelain doll ever since, and I'm not. I'm a person, Adam. Why can't you treat me like one?"

"I love you too much, Adrien. I don't know what I'd do if anything happened to you. I'm sorry, but I didn't think that it was so horrible."

"No, that's not horrible, but three men arguing about what I'm going to do without even consulting me is horrible."

"Yes, you're right darling. I'm sorry." He kissed her again. "Can you forgive me?"

"Yes, darling." She answered. "Forgiven and forgotten."

"What's this?" Adam said kissing her hand. There was a little bit of blood between her ring finger and her pinky. There was some blood on her engagement ring too.

"My ring always falls there for some reason. I guess it did when he was bucking."

"My poor dear." He said kissing her hand again. "You really should get that cleaned up."

"I will…in a little while." She answered returning to brushing the gelding.

Adam started to go back in the house.

"You know, dear," He said turning back. "You really did impress us all today. We couldn't even get someone on that horse for years. I actually still can't believe that you did what none of the rest of us could do. My hat's off to you darling."

"Thank you dear."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Adrien and Adam danced across the floor as if no one else was there at all. Everyone who was anyone attended the spring round up dance at the Ponderosa, especially since there was a rumor going around that the oldest Cartwright possibly settling down, and there wasn't an ear in town that didn't want to hear if it was true or not. Every guest was hoping to find out the truth, tonight.

The Cartwright household had sworn to secrecy about the upcoming events, but somehow the entire town was whispering about it behind the couple's backs. Adam joked that they could sail out of town on a breeze of gossip. The two laughed about all the guessing, the looks on the street, and the digging questions that were meant not to be obvious.

"Adrieanna, my love, I do believe that we have them intrigued." Adam whispered in her ear as they took a break from the dance floor.

"You know, darling, it is really cruel to keep them hanging like this." She whispered back.

"Yes, but don't you love it?"

"Of course, I do."

"You two know that secrets don't make friends, don't you?" Travis butted in.

"What is my handsome brother doing off the dance floor?" Adrien asked.

"I saw a very close and secret conversation, and apparently, I'm the only one brave enough to get close enough to get some dirt." Travis answered.

"Trying to win your spot in the pool, huh?" Adam kidded.

"Do you know how rich I'd be if I'd of been fast enough to start one?" Travis kidded back.

"So there actually is one?" Adrien exclaimed surprised.

"What's it for?" Adam asked.

"When you'll announce." Travis answered.

""Yes, my dear sister, there is, and surprisingly no one has tonight."

"Really?" She actually was surprised. "Why?"

"I guess it's too obvious."

"Well, Travis," Adam said, reaching in to his pocket. "I think tonight may be your lucky night." Adam handed him ten dollars. "Go get it."

Adrien laughed as Travis left to make his fortune.

"I can't believe you would bet on when we're announce."

"What better to bet on? There's no risk whatsoever."

"You're horrible."

Adam handed her a glass on punch, and then got one for himself.

"I'm need to talk to Pa about something." He told her. "I'll only be a moment."

"Oh, I wonder what it's about." She said sarcastically. Adam winked as he walked to the other side of the room where his father stood.

Adam returned and after a couple more dances, Ben asked the band to stop wait to start the next song. He rang his glass to get everyone's attention.

"I'd like to welcome everyone to my home tonight." He began. "It's time for me to toast another wonderful year. And not only because we've made it through another winter, but I've been blessed with another reason to celebrate. This year, I not only want to toast my son and the Ponderosa, but I'd also like to toast love. It shows up when and where you least expect it, and in whom you least expect it. So if everyone would please join me in toasting the love of my son, Adam and his fiancé, Miss Adrieaunna Cooper."

Everyone joined Ben in toasting them, for the rest of the night the couple received congratulations from almost everyone there. Adrien remained in a continual blush as people were constantly congratulating her, and complementing her on the light blue dress she had made for the occasion. All the women complimented her on her ring too.

Adrien was very embarrassed at all the attention she was getting. For someone who had spent so much time in the limelight, she was the shyest person Adam had ever met.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

After everyone had left, they sat out on the porch swing, and talked until they could see the sun coming up over the horizon.

"Darling, can you promise me something?" Adam asked, before she departed to her room across the hall from his.

"What is it, dear?" She asked, giving him a peck on the cheek.

"Whatever happens, no matter what gets in the way, we'll always be able to talk to each other the way we did tonight."

"You mean the way we did this morning too, right?"

"Exactly. But, I'm serious, would you promise me that?"

"Just for curiosity, why is this so important to you?"

"Because, I think that that's why me and you fell apart in Boston. We never talked to each other. It's so wonderful to have some one to talk to the way we talk to each other, darling. I just don't want it to end."

"Don't worry, darling." Adrien answered, giving him a kiss. "That's something that will never end. And neither will this…"

She kissed him passionately.

"Good." He said after he caught his breath. "I didn't want that to end either, it's a good thing we got that cleared up."

"Darling, I'm so glad I have you as a friend. Before we had passion, and then we never really knew each other. Darling, I know you now, and I love you more than ever for it. I don't think we would be where we are today if we didn't." Adam confessed.

"I think you're absolutely right, Dear." Adrien answered. "But don't be afraid of passion. In the right place, it can be a wonderful thing."

Adam kissed on the cheek.

"I know, Darling." He replied. "I think we both know all to well. Good night, Darling."

"Goodnight, Dear. I love you."

'I love you too.


	29. Chapter 28: The Fire That Burns Deep

Adrien's final school year was quickly drawing to a close. Adam and Adrien were in a state of pure bliss when they were together and tried not to let the strife of the outside world affect them, but they knew that something was brewing around them. It was beginning to affect every person in Virginia City, even the children.

Adrien knew from experience and common sense that children will tease one another. She had always kept it from getting out of hand in her classroom. But, ever since January, this had become increasingly difficult.

Until December, there had always been a separate school set up for the miner's children to make it easier for the children to get to and from school. Many of the mines were miles away from any town whatsoever, so the Miner's Association had taken it upon themselves to fund their own school because of this.

Lately, the miner's luck had run dry. If anyone found any ore, it was very little. It was getting were there was no money to pay men to dig anymore, which meant that there was no money for the school either. As of Christmas, the school had been shut down. In January, as many children as could get there where now under the instruction of Adrien in Virginia City.

As the winter drug on, the miner's were running out of work, the one's that still had jobs were unhappily taking steep pay cuts.

Many of the men without jobs were spending their days drinking away their problems in the saloons. Fights broke out almost daily. There was talk about striking against the Miner's Association, which they believed would protect them. All of this talk was leaking in to the children's ear and carried into the school with them.

Many of the students that had originally attended school in Virginia City were the children of the local cattlemen. The cattlemen and the miners for some reason that Adrien didn't understand had never gotten along and somehow in the midst of this feud, the school had become not only a melting pot for the two groups, but a common battle ground the children to follow in their parents footsteps.

By the time that spring came about, there was not a day that went by that Adrien did not have to break up a fight in the schoolyard. There was one day that it did get out of hand. Adrien now sat at her desk. Adam, Ben and the rest of the school board sat there as the six boys and their parents came in and sat down. One of the boys almost had to be carried in between his parents. They sat on the other side of the room from every one else. Adrien got up and stood in front of her desk. She knew what she had to do, and it was not going to be easy.

Adam watched her from where he sat beside his father. He could see that there was some question in her eyes, she'd never asked to do what she was about to. Adam could tell that it scared her a little, especially with everything that was going on around them. However, he was the only one that could see it.

"Well, since everyone is here, I guess we can begin." She began in her teacher voice, it was as cold as ice, it even gave Adam chills. The bruise on her cheek and the slightly black eye made her seem even colder

"I think that we all know why we're all gathered here. So, let me begin by saying that I always find it sad when there is any altercation between any one, and I also find it sad when people have to resort to violence to solve their differences and what I find the saddest of all, is when the conflicts of adults are weighed so heavily that it affects their children's lives. That is why I wanted you all present this evening. For a while now, the conflicts of adults in this town have been affecting the children in this school, but today it has reached an intolerable high.

As always, the no tolerance policy in this school applies in this situation, but the despicable behavior displayed today by you boys calls for something a bit more.

I don't know what you boys wanted to accomplish by your attempt at a vigil antes, but all that you have done is gotten yourselves into a great amount of trouble. So, Chad Elders, Lonnie Holman, Jeff Marlin, David Thompson, and Kevin Jones, with permission given by the school board, are herby expelled for the remainder of this term, and admittance for next year is still in question."

She took a stack of papers from the corner of her desk and handed a packet of papers to each of the children.

"On the top of each packet is your official letter expulsion, and under that is your glimmer of hope. If you complete each of those assignments in full, and they are adequately correct, then I will allow you to receive a passing grade for this term, otherwise you will have to repeat that grade when you are allowed to return to class. Are there any questions?"

"I have one, woman." Mr. Marlin stood up. "What happens to that kid?" He pointed to Billy Ross.

"Mr. Marlin, " Adrien answered. "In my classroom, we find it very rude to point and we always respect each other enough to address each other by name just as I am doing to you. When this procedure is not followed, that person is ignored. Will that be a problem, Mr. Marlin?"

The man's face turned bright red.

"As for your question, Mr. Marlin. There is no evidence of provocation for what your son and his friends did. In fact, I have asked many times for your help in controlling your son's behavior towards me and his fellow students, and that has been ignored, so this should be no surprise for you, but I don't believe Mr. Ross will be coming to school for a few days either, but he is excused until he feels well enough to come back to class."

"That ain't right, " Marlin exclaimed, standing up and advancing towards her. "Bitch, you're playing favorites, you ain't gonna get away with this. You ain't gonna do this to my boy…"

Every member of the school board jumped to Adrien's defense.

"Mr. Marlin, I think you need to sit down." Mr. Lodge came to the rescue, surprisingly beating Adam to the punch. "You don't seem to understand what Miss Cooper is doing for your son. This board didn't even want to consider letting any of these five back in class here ever again, much less give them a chance to complete this term. You should consider yourselves lucky."

Marlin sat down, pouting like a whipped puppy. It seemed that everyone took a sigh of relief.

"Is there anything else any of you ladies and gentlemen would like to say?" Adrien again took hold of the proceedings.

No one moved, no one breathed.

"Well, if no one has any comments, then we're done here, you're all dismissed."

Everyone left in a silence, except for the Ross's. Adrien was tapped by Mrs. Ross on the shoulder.

"Miss Cooper, I hope you didn't get hurt to bad in all of this." She whispered.

"Don't worry about me, I'm fine. I just wanted to tell you not to worry about Billy coming back if he doesn't want to, he's a great student, and I have complete faith that he's absolutely ready for next term." Adrien's cold tone had warmed nicely.

"Thank you Miss Cooper, but you know how Billy is."

"Yes, that's why the day he comes back I want a note from you saying that he's well enough to be in class. We don't need another episode like we had when he had the flue." Adrien smiled. "Just go get some rest, Billy. I'll ride out and check on you in a few days."

"Miss Cooper, may I have a book to read, please?" The boy asked sweetly.

"I knew you'd say that." Adrien replied. "I have just the one for you." She grabbed a book off the stack on her desk. "How about some poetry? This one's a favorite of mine, Milton's _Paradise Lost_. This is a very special copy, so please take extra special care of it."

"Don't worry I will." The boy answered with a smile on his face. He left the room with the help of his mother.

As soon as everyone had left, Adam walked up behind Adrien, and stroked her arm gently with his hand. She flinched and then tried to hide it.

"I'm sorry, I didn't think there were any bruises there." He apologized. She reached for his hand.

"It's all right, dear. You didn't know." She said following the comment with a yawn.

"I'm proud of you, darling. There's not many people I know who would put Marlin in his place like that."

"It wasn't easy, but I won't be spoken to like that either. It really helped when Lodge stepped in though."

"That's a first. James A. Lodge the third coming to the rescue, and there's not single thing that he can get out of it." Adam joked, Adrien smiled lightly.

"Whatever works, works. I have no reason to argue with it."

"So does our Mr. Lodge have a new friend?"

"Let's not go that far yet, dear." She said, trying to hold back another yawn.

"Tired?" Adam asked.

"Extremely. I think I earned my keep today." Adrien answered.

"Then why don't we go home?"

"We can't."

"Why not?

"_I _can go home, and _you _can go home. _We _can't go home. _We _can as soon as you let me make a few plans."

"Adrien, why can't we just wait until this terms over?" Adam asked as he picked up her books, and gathered up the papers on her desk.

"Because it took me eight years to get this." She held up her hand to show him the engagement ring that he had given her five months before. "At this pace we'll both be old spinsters before we get married. Sometimes I wonder if you ever want to marry me at all." She said, as Adam directed her out the door.

"Don't worry darling, of course I want to marry you. I just don't want you getting bogged down with both projects at once."

"I think I could handle it, dear."

"I have no doubt that you could, I just don't want my wife frazzled before I get her. That's my job." He kissed her lightly and then helped her up into the buggy.

"Don't think you're gettin' away with anything you bitch." A voice called from the darkness. "I know what you're up too."

Marlin came out of the shadows.

"And what do you think that she's up to?" Adam retaliated.

"She thinks that she can drive us all out , hold us back, she's in with all you cattlemen, just tryin' ta drive us out. She thinks she can help alla' you keep all that silver that we need underground." The man ranted.

"Now, Marlin, you know that Miss Cooper is just doing her job. The entire school board backs her up on this," Adam countered. " and your son had it coming anyway. She's never even been involved with the ranchers in the area. What interest would it have for her anyway?"

"She's got interest enough, and don't think that you Cartwrights can protect her forever. She's gonna pay for what she's a doin' ta us. My son ain't her last target. I know it. You know it. And she knows it. That's just what she is, cruel, vindictive, and hateful. Just because we're miners is no reason to act all high and mighty. She'll pay for this. I'll make sure of it…"

Adam started to advance towards him and shut him up.

"Adam, don't." Adrien called after him.

Adam stopped and looked back at her, confused. He took a deep breath.

"He's not worth it. There's been enough violence today, I don't want anymore."

Adam took another deep breath

"If that's what you want." He said and turned back to Marlin. "You leave her alone, or you'll wish you never met a Cartwright."

Adam took his place in the buggy with a firmly clenched jaw. He drove Adrien home but was hesitant to leave her there. He walked through the house to make sure that no one was lurking in the shadows, but he still could not bring himself to leave.

"Adam, it's fine." Adrien assured him. "Marlin's just blowing off steam. That's all. He'll never follow through on anything he says."

"I can't be sure of that, I just can't be sure."

"Adam, Marlin's all talk. That's all he'll ever be. Go home, I'll be fine."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

"You know, I absolutely hate that color on you." Adam kidded from the door way of the schoolhouse.

A couple of days had passed, the news of the fight was now buzzing through the town.

"Adam, I didn't hear you come in." Adrien answered, she appeared to be in a better mood, despite the remaining pain through out her body.

"And I don't really care what you think of this dress, I love it. In fact, think I'll have the church painted this color just for the wedding." She coyly remarked.

"I thought you hated pink."

"Yes, but so do you, so I have to like it."

"And why is that?" Adam asked, beginning to wonder just exactly what he had started.

"Because opposites attract."

"Well, that explains things."

"Explains what?"

"Well, I wish that likes attracted."

"Why?" Adrien asked, suddenly confused that Adam was not playing along with her game.

"Because if likes attracted, then I would be able to think like you. I'd know what you were thinking, where you were, why you were there, and why you just took off when there are people out there waiting who want to hurt you."

"I take it you were looking for me then." Adrien realized, she said taking a stack of papers from the corner of the desk and putting them on the bottom on the stack already in front of her.

"Yes, I was." Adam answered. "You need to be more careful, lock this door when you're not expecting someone. Tell someone where you are, leave a note, something."

"What brings all this on?" Adrien asked, as she began grading papers.

"If you'd remember, I was going to bring you dinner tonight so we could eat at your place. But when I showed up, you weren't there. I came here, and you weren't here either. I was getting worried, Adrieaunna."

"Adam, you had nothing to worry about. I was just at the Ross's and then I went to see Leita. She gave me something that I want to show you anyway." Adrien reached into her saddlebags which sat under her desk, and pulled out a stack of small cloth squares.

"What's this?" Adam asked.

"Just look through those and tell me which ones you like." Adrien told him.

"Wait, I know what you're trying and it's not going to work."

"And what am I trying, Master Cartwright?" She said with a playful smile.

"You're making plans when we agreed not to."

"I thought I could slip this one past you, or maybe you'd know and you'd just let me. It's not fair having to wait." Adrien whined,

"I know it's been a long time, but can't you wait one more month?" Adam asked.

"Promise that it'll just be a month."

"I promise."

"Fine." Adrien pouted. "But I'm marking this date next month on my calendar and I'm holding you to it."

"Yes, dear."

"I mean it, there's no stopping me."

"Yes, dear."

"Do you know how much I love you?"

"Yes, dear, I do." Adam kissed her on the forehead." I don't have the buggy, but I'd be happy to ride back to your place with you."

"Oh, not tonight dear. I have a lot of work to do. I think I better stay here and get it done with no distractions."

"Are you sure?" Adam was very hesitant to leave her, especially with Marlin sitting in the saloon ranting, raving, and making threats while wasting away on a barstool. "Can't you just wait till tomorrow to do it?"

"No, I need to get these done. I'd like to go to sleep tonight without thinking about what I have to catch up tomorrow."

"Then why don't I just wait for you outside?"

"If you want, but go to the saloon or something. I have no idea how long this will take." Adrien suggested.

"Alright, but only if you promise me that I can bring you lunch tomorrow." Adam bargained.

"It's a deal."

"Please don't work too late darling." Adam pleaded. "I don't want to see you losing sleep just yet."

"I promise I won't, dear." Adrien crossed her heart to seal it.

"You're so cute when you're childish." Adam smiled, and reluctantly kissed his fiancé goodbye. He walked down the street towards the saloon. Strangely enough, he didn't hear Marlin's voice ringing above every other sound in the place. He sat down at the bar and ordered a beer. Travis noticed that Adam had entered and came up to the bar to talk to him.

"It thought that you were spending time with the old ball and chain tonight." He joked.

"I was, but it claimed to have work to do at the schoolhouse." Adam answered; the disappointment obvious in his voice.

"Well, that's sis for you." Travis replied, patting Adam on the back. "I'm glad she did, I have something to tell you that I think you need to know. Why don't we sit somewhere where it's a little quieter." Travis motioned to the barkeep to bring them another round as they went to sit at a nearby table.

"So what's going on?" Adam asked as their beers were set on the table.

"The miner's are planning to start some trouble. I heard that they're going to burn a bunch of cattlemen's houses tonight. I think they might try to do something to Adrien." Travis answered in a low whisper.

"I don't know. Is Marlin heading this up?" Adam asked.

"That was a dumb question."

"Well, then why isn't he out gathering his crew? I see a lot of his buddies heavily involved in a poker game over there." Adam said calling attention to the men at the table in the corner.

"I'm not sure. Maybe these guys are just a diversion." Travis guessed.

"Maybe it's just a bunch of Marlin's hot air, like Adrien said. He can't do this alone." Adam suggested.

"You may be right." Travis agreed.

The two sat and talked about lighter subjects, before they knew it a couple hours had passed.

I need to see if Adrien is finished. I really wanted to spend some time with her tonight, maybe I can at least talk to her on the way home." Adam said, finishing off his latest glass of beer.

"Well, I'll see you back at the ranch. Don't be too long, she still is my sister, you know."

"Hey, everyone!" A young man yelled as he ran into the saloon. " Help! The schoolhouse is on fire!"

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

The schoolhouse was engulfed in flames.

"Didn't you say that Adrien was working at the schoolhouse tonight?" Travis asked Adam as they ran into the schoolyard and laying eyes on the flaming building.

"Yes, she was." Adam answered, panic entering his voice.

All around them people were gathering, filling buckets from the pump and throwing them on the fire. Adam quickly filled a bucket and dumped it over himself.

"What are you doing?" Travis asked, surprised at Adam's strange behavior.

"I'm going in there." Adam answered, throwing his gun belt to the ground, and tying a handkerchief over his nose and mouth.

He ran through the door into the flames. Adrien was nowhere to be seen. He screamed her name, but he could not hear his own voice over the roar of the fire. The rafters began to creak as the walls that held them began to crumble.

He ran towards the front of the schoolroom. He saw a bit of pink cloth coming out from behind the desk. Adam reached down and picked up his unconscious fiancé.

"Adrien…Adrien…" He said. She did not wake up.

"Hurry, Adam." He heard Travis yell from outside. "It's about to give."

Adam took off his shirt and wrapped it around her before picking Adrien up.

One of the rafters fell in front of them. There was no other door, so there was no choice but to jump over it. He took a few steps back and made a run for it. The door never seemed farther. He made it outside just as the rest of the schoolhouse collapsed behind them.

Adam laid Adrien down at the edge of the schoolyard. He put out the small flames that were burning her skirt. Travis took some water and poured it over her face. She still did not wake. Travis leaned close to his sister's face.

"Is she…?" His voice trailed.

"Not yet." Adam answered, pouring more water over her face. He lifted her head with his hand to try to pour some water into her mouth. "But she does have a bullet in the leg."

"Come on, sis." Travis pleaded. "Come on."

Adam took his hand from under her head and started to pick her up.

"Adam, you r hand." Travis pointed out.

Adam looked at his hand, which was covered in blood.

"She's taken a pretty good hit from someone." Travis quickly concluded.

"We need to get her to the doc's and fast." Adam said, picking his fiancé up quickly but gently. "Travis, start tracking whoever was here, and when you find him, shoot him."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

"I've never understood how hate can run so deep in a person that he has to hurt innocent people to suffice it." Ben said quietly to his oldest son.

It had been three days. Adrien had not woken up. She lay in a bed in Doc Martin's clinic in town. Adam had not left her side. He just sat there beside her bed watching and waiting and turning her engagement ring over and over in his hand.. Travis sat on the other side, lightly stroking his sister's hand. Both men were praying not only for answers, but for a miracle.

Travis had been right. Adrien had taken and almost fatal blow to the head. There was quite a bit of swelling, the doc knew for sure that there was a concussion and possibly a fracture. The only thing anyone really knew was that she was very lucky, and she was barely hanging on, and she couldn't straddle the fence forever.

"I don't think that Adrien will appreciate waking up without that on her hand." Ben suggested.

"What's it matter, she won't want to marry me after all this. I shouldn't have let her stay there. I didn't protect her like I should have. She'll never trust me again.

"Adam, don't say that. You didn't know that Marlin would do this. No one did."

"But I had a clue. I let her stay there. I shouldn't have. I never should have."

"Adam, stop this. Why don't you come home and clear your head for a night. You need some rest. You'll know how Adrien really feels soon enough."

"No, I'm not leaving her." Adam answered.

"Alright, Travis, why don't you get some rest, neither of you are doing her any good waring yourselves out like this." Ben tried again.

"I think I can get enough rest right here, Mr. Cartwright." Travis answered.

"Has she improved at all?" Ben asked, deciding to change the subject.

"Not yet." Adam answered, the disappointment obvious in his voice.

"But she will." Travis reassured. "My sister is just vindictive enough that she'll live just to spite them all."

Ben smirked slightly, knowing that Travis was dead right, but his laugh was choked when he saw that his son's expression hadn't changed in the least.

"Let me know as soon as anything happens."

Ben patted his son on the shoulder as he left the room.

A few minutes later, Doc Martin came in to check on her. After checking her leg wound, he suggested that they talk to her. Maybe familiar voices would bring her around.

The two of them rambled themselves hoarse. Travis actually talked himself to sleep after supper.

The moonlight shone through the window and across Adrien's' face. Adam sat down on the edge of the bed and spread her hair out across the pillow. He found a brush on the nightstand and started to brush her hair.

"You're too beautiful not to smile darling." He whispered. "I wish, you'd wake up and do that."

He reached down and took her hand.

"Adrien, I'm so sorry about all this. I wish I could have protected you. There's a lot I wish I could have protected you from a lot more."

He slipped her engagement ring back on her finger.

"I've tried darling, I've really tried. I love you. I hope you know that. I've never really found a way to truly tell you how much I do, but I do."

He squeezed her hand tighter.

"You know, this is usually when you kiss me and tell me not to worry, that you know, and it's all alright."

He leaned down and gently kissed her forehead and then the tip of her nose.

"Don't worry, I'll let you by without kissing me back this time." He started to smirk, but then he looked back up at her almost lifeless face, and any joy was gone.

Suddenly, she squeezed his hand.

"Adrien, Adrien, are you there? Adrien!" He called. "Travis, I think she's waking up."

Adam's yelling woke everyone in the house up.

"Come on, sis, come on." Travis coaxed as he took her other hand that was now clenched in a fist.

Adrien's eyes flew open. Adam felt her hand begin to shake in his. It seemed as if the tremor moved up her arms and through the rest of her body.

"Travis, get the doctor." Adam yelled.

Travis bolted from the room, and his footsteps faded down the hallway.


	30. Chapter 29: Lost in the Sea of the Mind

At least that's an improvement." The doctor said when Adrien was finally settled.

"How is having her put back to sleep an improvement?" Adam asked with frustration. He'd been hoping she was waking up.

"She's feeling the bullet wound in her leg, which means she's starting to come out of it. But she's coming out of it so violently. If she struggles too much, then the swelling in her head might increase and make things worse. Adam, she's in a great deal of pain. It's best we let things be for tonight, we need to try to pull her out slowly, or we could do alot of damage, maybe even lose her. If she starts again, put this chloroform over her mouth and nose, hold it until you're sure she's out." He handed Adam a rag and a small bottle, Adam gave him a look like he was listening but had no plans to obey.

"Adam, I know you want her back, but there's too many chances if we let it happen like this."

Adam set the items on the counter after the doc had left the room.

"God, I hate this." Adam said falling back into his chair.

"If you hate this so much, then why don't you just go home." Travis venomously told him.

"No, I just want her to wake up, I want her back. I can't stand being without her. She might wake up, if he'd just let her."

"The doc knows best Adam. We'll talk to him in the morning and see what else we can do." Travis answered. "Just go to sleep for now, that's all we can really do, right now."

"It just isn't right." Adam said under his breath.

"What's not right?" Travis asked.

"Just go back to sleep."

It was silent for a little while. Adam knew that Travis was asleep.

"It's really not right darling, " Adam whispered in Adrien's ear. "We should be somewhere far away from here. We should be in a grand house with Rebecca and Little Adam. You should be dancing to your hearts content and choreographing like you always wanted. We should have the lives we always dreamed about. We deserve those lives darling. It's not right that you gave up your dreams. It's not right that we lost our children. It's not right that you have to work like this, and it's not right that you keep getting into these messes because I'm not here to protect you. I'll make it up to you some how…someway…I'll make it right."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

It was dark. It seemed like a dream world here, but how did she get here? Where was she? Where was here?

It was so cold. She tried walking in one direction, whatever that direction was, but it just got colder and colder.

"I'll find my way eventually," She assured herself. "If I just keep going."

And she did just that for a very long time, but it just got darker and colder still. Then she heard a voice.

It was comforting, loving, and familiar. Yes, she knew that voice, but she could not place it now.

Behind her a light appeared, but she could not tell when it came from, so she walked towards it. As she moved, the voice got louder. It said:

"I tried darling. I really tried. I love you. I hope you know that because I can't figure out quite how to tell you…"

She ran to the light, to the voice. There was something there but it was a very, very long way away. So she kept running.

She was getting close very close. The light was coming from a door. When she got to it she tried to turn the knob, but it was locked, the light went out and the voice disappeared

"No, please, no, someone let me out, please." She tried to say falling down on her knees, but the words would not come out.

"It's not right darling," the voice said and the light started to reappear.

That voice was so familiar, but when she tried to place it, it started to feel like the entire room was caving in on her.

The voice kept going, "We should be somewhere far away from here…"

It seemed like it echoed in that dark room, but the source of the voice didn't come from the room, it was from the other side of the door. She tried the knob on the door again, but it still wouldn't budge. She pounded the door with her fists and cried "Let me out! Let me out!

But it seemed like there was no one on the other side.

"Someone please!" She pleaded again.

The voice kept going, "We should have the lives we always dreamed about."

She kept pounding on the door.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Adrien's grip tightened on the hand that Adam was holding.

"Adrien! Sweetheart! Are you waking up?"

Adam's excitement woke Travis, he sprang for the bottle of chloroform and the rag.

"No, Travis, don't do it!" Adam ordered.

"But Adam, the doc said."

"She just squeezed my hand. Let's not get too excited yet."

"But the doc said not to let her wake up tonight."

"She just squeezed my hand, that's all, how is that waking her up too fast."

"The doctor just wanted to give her the night. Remember the swelling Adam!"

"Listen, I swear if she moves again. I'll do it, but for now, she's fine."

"Alright, " Travis answered, "Just don't make me use that stuff on you. Get some rest or I just might."

"I just want to know that she's alright. I want to hear it from her."

"Adam, you will soon enough, but she needs time to heal. You need to let her."

"Here," Adam said, handing the bottle of chloroform and the rag to Travis, "maybe you should be the one to decide when to use it."

Travis took the items.

"Don't worry, Adam. She's going to be alright. Just get some rest, ok?"

"I'll rest when Adrien tells me that I can."

"Adam, you'll be no good to her exhausted. Get some sleep."

"I will. I just want to talk to her a little bit more before I do."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

"Adrien, can you hear me? Do you even know that I'm here?" the voice called again. She still couldn't place it

"Adrien, Adrien," she said to herself, "Am I Adrien? Is that me? Is that voice talking to me?"

As she spoke, she started to feel like the room was caving in on her again.

She ran back to the door and tried to open it again. It still wouldn't move. She pounded it again, still no answer.

She collapsed and slid down the door. Suddenly, she noticed a keyhole in the lock. As the voice kept talking, light would come through it. She struggled to look through it. She could see! There was someone there! He was the one talking! He was the voice!

She screamed as loud as she could, "Help me!" and he seemed to hear.

"Adam!"

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

"Oh my God, Adrien." Adam screamed in surprise.

She screamed, "Help me! Adam! Get me out of here!"

"Adrien, I'm here, it's alright I'm here." He put his arms around her and held her as tight as he could. "I won't let anything happen to you, I promise. It's ok."

Her head tossed back and forth. She never responded to Adam. She couldn't hear him. Suddenly, She let out a blood curdling scream!

Travis came over Adam's shoulder with the rag that Dr. Martin had given him, and put it over her mouth and nose. Seconds later, she relaxed and was peacefully lying there on the bed.

"I think that we may have met it go too far this time." Travis stated.

"I don't know. It happened so suddenly." Adam answered. "But it didn't sound like she was in pain. I wonder what is going on in there. She sounded so scared."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

"Yes, Adam, I'm scared. I'm trapped and I can't get out of here. Please help me!" she pleaded.

She didn't know where the door had gone. She'd been whisked so suddenly from it. She tried going in the direction that she'd gone before, but she couldn't figure out what direction exactly that was.

"Oh, Adam, if only you could hear me now." She cried. At least, she'd finally figured out the voice. She was beginning to remember things now.

"Oh, God, I'm so scared."

"It's ok to be scared, Adrien." A mildly familiar voice said to her, it definitely wasn't Adam.

Adrien turned around to see who it was.

"Mother?" She asked in complete surprise.

"Yes," the woman answered, "it's me, baby."

"Am…Am I…"

"Are you dead? No. You're not. We just have some things to talk about sweetheart. Come with me. I have something to show you."


	31. Chapter 30: A Walk In Dreamland

"Mom, where are we going." Adrien asked. Her mother had taken her hand and was leading her into the darkness .

"Well, sweetheart, there's a lot that we have to talk about. A lot has happened since we spoke last." The woman answered.

"Yes, a lot has," Adrien answered. There was a little bitterness in her voice, "Such as, you died."

"Sweetheart, don't do that. I'm not here to fight with you."

"I'm sorry. It's just that I know that you're dead. I was there when you died…"

"But, here I am. You're touching me, talking to me. How can that be right?"

Adrien nodded.

"Sweetheart," the woman continued, "spending so much time with that logical man has made you forget that there's something beyond what you see."

"No, mom, I just know that there's something different than what you believed."

"Sweetheart, I figured it out too. We just didn't get enough time together for me to tell you before I died. I'm glad that you figured it out for yourself."

"If it wasn't for Madame Daniela then I wouldn't have."

"I know. I just thank God that you're father wasn't that much of an influence on you. But anyway, I wouldn't be here if I wasn't saved too dear. We have a lot to talk about. Look at this."

Adrien's mother pointed to a bright light that was shining in front of them.

Suddenly, Adrien could see all of the hard things in her life play before her.

She saw her mother and father fighting when she was a toddler, and she was under the table hiding her baby brother Simon.

Then she saw herself as a young girl of 5, dressed in a Cheyenne dress, in a teepee.

"What do you mean I'm a white man. I'm not a white man!" The young Adrien exclaimed.

She recognized the Cheyenne's medicine man, Running Bear, in his younger days.

"No, little one," he said, "you are not one of us. You and your mother and brother came here many moons ago to hide from your father. We let you live as one of us, but your mother has gone to live with the white man gypsy, and the angry Apache dog soldiers come. You and your brother will be safer with your own kind."

Then, she saw herself at the funeral of all her step mothers, at most she was holding the youngest of the family, most often a newborn.

Next, she saw the house of Madame Daniela. It was the biggest house in Colorado Springs. Adrien was now 13. She was dancing in the studio inside the Madame's house with her best friend d that was a couple years older, Lydia. Madame Daniela came in with a box.

"Adrieanna, come here," she commanded.

"Yes, Madame," the young Adrien answered, and she stopped dancing and went to the Madame's side. "What is it Madame?"

"Those pointe shoes of yours are too worn out. You need new ones."

"I will try to find a way to get some, Madame."

"Don't worry, " the old woman answered. "You have much promise Adrien. I don't want your training to suffer, so I got you new ones." She opened the box and handed the teenage Adrien a pair of new ballet slippers. "Try those and see how they feel."

"When will I get to learn pointe, Madame?" Lydia burst out angrily.

"When you finally perfect your footwork," the Madame retorted sharply back.

"But, Madame…"

"That's enough, Lydia. Go through your exercises once more, and then go home." Madame replied before Lydia could finish, "Adrieanna, come with me."

Adrien followed Madame out of the studio. Suddenly, Madame fell against the wall, unable to breathe.

"Madame, Madame," Adrien cried, reaching out to catch her and help her down to the floor. Madame Daniela continued to gasp for air.

"Lydia, get the doctor, quick!" Adrien screamed.

"Mother," the adult Adrien interrupted, "What does all of this have to do with me now. Why do I have to see all these painful memories?"

"Sweetheart, you have never let these hurts go. You need to realize that they all had a purpose. Look at what Madame gave you."

"She gave me dance. She gave me a way out from under my father's iron fist."

"Yes, and if she hadn't have died, at that point, you would have never taken the audition at the Boston Ballet, would you?"

"No, I wouldn't have."

"And you never would have met Adam," her mother pointed out.

"And if I had remained with the Cheyenne, none of it would have ever happened." Adrien realized.

"You see dear. God had a purpose and design for it all. You need to let the hurt go now."

"Alright, Lilly Cooper," Adrien challenged, "if all that had a purpose, then why did Adam ever leave me? Why was I raped? Why did I have to lose both my children? Why did I have to shoot my own father? Why can't I get out of this place and back to Adam? Why did you take off with gypsies and abandon your children? What is the purpose there?"

"My Adrien, my sweet Adrien, think about it, you will see purpose. Let's look at those memories. "

All of those memories were replayed in front of Adrien. Even the night that she had Little Adam, and the night that she lost him.

"Adrien, how is he doing?" her friend, Grace, asked.

"Oh, he's wonderful, Grace. He hardly ever cries, and he's so sweet. He looks just like his father don't you think?" Adrien answered.

"Yes, Adrien, he does look like his father," Grace answered, "but he's so small, is he eating any better?"

"Not yet, but he'll get it. Just give him time, Grace."

Adrien never remembered seeing it them, but she was comforting Grace just to comfort herself. She felt the gut feeling that she'd had back then. She knew that the baby wasn't strong enough.

She saw herself give the baby to Grace, so she could get some rest.

"Wake me if he wakes up." Adrien instructed, but the baby only woke up enough to cry a little before he passed.

"What can be the purpose in losing my children?" Adrien asked with tears in her eyes.

"Sweetheart," her mother comforted, "you learned great lessons from those losses didn't you?"

"Yes, mother, I did. But, why did they have to die for me to learn that?"

"Sweetheart, you had to reap what you planted."

"I know, I know." Adrien answered, tears falling.

"And sweetheart, those children are safe now. Do you want to see them before you go back?"

"What? Go back where? Wait…" She trailed off as she realized what her mother was saying. "I can see my children?"

"Yes, dear," her mother answered, "You can spend a little time with them."

She followed her mother. Suddenly, a grand meadow appeared, and there was a gazebo. In the gazebo, a young woman and a little boy were playing gamed together.

"Hello Mom! Hello Grandma!" the young woman shouted when she looked up and saw them.

"Becca? Is that you?" Adrien asked.

"Yes, it's me, Momma." Rebecca answered.

"But, look at you. You're all grown up." Adrien answered, amazed. "You're beautiful."

"And momma, it's me!" Little Adam exclaimed as he hugged his mother.

"Oh, my baby." She gasped as she hugged him back. "You look more like your father than ever."

The four of them stayed in the gazebo and played and talked for hours.

After a while, Lilly stood up and said, "It's time to go my dear."

"No, it can't be. Do I really have to leave?" Adrien asked.

"Sweetheart, your children are taken care of here," her mother answered. "But there's someone that needs you very much."

"Adam."

"Yes, dear."

"But I don't want to leave my babies." Adrien pleaded.

"I know dear, but you have to."

"Why?" Adrien asked.

"Because your time here is done. This all is only a dream, sweetheart," her mother answered.

"But I want to stay with my babies, forever."

"I'm sorry, but you can't."

"Then let's make the most of the time we have left." Adrien decided. She took each of the children by the hand, and they followed her mother through the darkness and eventually to the door that she saw Adam though the keyhole at.

"Do you want to see your father dears?" Adrien asked

"We see him all the time, Momma." Rebecca answered.

"Really?" Adrien asked in amazement.

"Yes, we watch you all the time, Momma." Little Adam answered.

"Ok, kids, it's time for your mom to go," their grandmother told them.

"Give me a hug, sweeties," Adrien told the children and they hugged her tightly, and gave her many kisses.

"I love you, both of you" Adrien told them.

"We love you too, Momma," they answered.

"I hope I get to see you again someday." Adrien said.

"Just dream, Momma, we'll be there." Rebecca told her.

Adrien stood up and turned to the door. She turned back around to get one last glimpse of her loved ones, but they were gone. She turned back around to the door and turned the knob.

This time the door opened…


	32. Chapter 31: Moving Forward

"Are you sure she's alright." Travis asked the doctor. Adrien had struggled through the night and over the course of the morning she had said many strange things that didn't make any sense to Adam. When he asked Travis, he'd just say that he would explain at another time. That morning the doctor had decided to stop using the chloroform and let her wake up since the place where he suspected the skull fracture had stopped swelling. This delighted Adam, but she had been quite reluctant to wake up so far.

For the last couple hours, she had become quite peaceful. She would smile and laugh quietly. She would even say softly, "My babies." The doctor was becoming increasingly concerned with her quietness.

"Do you think that she's going to wake up at all?" Travis had asked him, the thought of her not waking up scared Adam so much that he couldn't bring himself to mention it.

"I don't know," the doctor answered, "She's not fighting unconsciousness anymore. Just keep talking to her, that's the best thing that I can think of to help."

They both kept talking as much as they could, but about lunch time Adam finally passed out from exhaustion. Travis kept going as long as he could, but he eventually passed out too.

It was late in the afternoon when Ben showed up. He and the doctor found both men passed out. Ben woke them up and told them both to go lie down and get some real rest in another room. They protested, but they were so tired that they gave in when Ben said that he'd stay with her.

Ben sat there for a long time. Adrien would fidget every now and then. The doctor came in to change the dressing on her leg.

"Oh my God," she suddenly whispered. She then opened her eyes. "It opened."

She laid there for a moment with her eyes looking around. Both men stood there in amazement, scared to say a word. She tried to move but found it too painful.

"Miss Cooper?" the doctor finally asked, "How are you feeling?"

"My head is killing me," she answered, trying not to panic, "and so is my leg. What happened?"

"It's a long story, dear, but you're going to make it through." Ben answered.

"It hurts to turn my head. Where's Adam?" Adrien asked.

"He's in the next room resting," Ben answered, "he passed out while waiting for you to wake up. Travis has been in the rocking chair this whole time. He's passed out too."

"Are they alright? They aren't hurt too, are they?" she asked.

"Just a few minor cuts and bruises for Adam. Travis is fine." The doctor answered.

"So what's the verdict with me?" she asked.

"Let's see, you have a concussion, gun shot wound to the leg, minor cuts and burns, and a possible skull fracture," the doctor answered.

"That explains the headache. How long have I been out?"

"Almost 4 days." Ben told her.

"And Adam…"

"He hasn't left your side. He's been awake until a few hours ago. Do you want me to wake him up?" Ben asked, taking her hand.

"No. Let him sleep." She squeezed Ben's hand. "So doc, am I going to make it.?"

"You have a lot better odds now that you're awake," Doc Martin answered, "I can give you something for the pain now that you're awake."

"Ah, my angel of mercy!" Adrien smirked. The doctor had Ben pick Adrien's head a little bit so she could take some pills. "Is there any reason that I can't stay propped up a little bit?"

"As long as the pain isn't too bad," Doc answered.

"Is that what you'd like to do?" Ben asked.

"Yes, please, I want Adam to see me when he wakes up," Adrien answered. "I know he's had to have been worried sick."

The doctor left the room to get some pillows to prop her up on, while Ben kept her shoulders held up.

"This doesn't hurt ,does it?" Ben asked.

"Not anymore than it did when I was lying down," Adrien answered.

The doctor came back with the pillows and they got her propped up a little. Ben sat down on the bed beside her.

"I want you to keep your head pretty stable for a little while," the doctor told her, "Don't over do it."

"I won't. I promise." Adrien said and she crossed her heart and smiled as the doctor left the room.

"I see your whit is back." Ben said smiling.

"Well, at least something came out of this not damaged." Adrien weakly quipped back.

Ben laughed quietly.

"You know if anyone can get through a fiasco like this it's you." He said.

"It's nice to know that you have faith in me, Ben."

"You know, about a year ago, someone told me to stop being so formal. I think the same goes for you." Ben said.

"What do you mean?" Adrien asked, "I'm sorry, I'm a little confused."

"Well, Adrien, you're about to be a part of this family, and with everything that you are to Adam, and everything that you've done for him, you are already family to me. Why don't you just call me Pa?"

"Oh, Ben…I mean, Pa, you're going to make me cry." The tears were welling up in her eyes when she said it.

"Why is that?"

"I've never had anyone that I actually wanted to call Pa before, much less want me to call them that. It's such an honor for you to even think of me that way. I don't know what to say." Adrien answered, her already weak voice was cracking.

"Well, I always wanted a daughter. I just never thought that I'd get one this way." He said patting her on the shoulder and then wiping the tears off of her cheeks. "You need to stop crying, dear. You'll just make that headache worse."

"I'll try, Pa." She answered, trying to stop.

"I'm going to let you rest." He leaned over and kissed her on the forehead. "I mean it, daughter. Get some rest."

"I promise. I will, Pa." She said taking hold of his hand again. "That is if you'll do me one small favor."

"And what is that?"

"Make sure Adam gets something to eat when he wakes up. I can pretty much bet that he hasn't eaten a thing since this happened. He needs to take care of himself."

"Don't worry; I'll take care of him." He squeezed her hand back, and then let go and left the room.

The door to Adrien's room opened slowly. Adam peeked in at his finance who appeared to be sleeping on the bed.

He cursed under his breath, "I missed her." He continued into the room and sat back down where he'd been sitting the past four days. He took her hand again.

"It's about time you woke up, darling," Adrien said, opening her eyes.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you," Adam whispered, "But it's nice to look into your eyes. I've missed them." He kissed her on the forehead.

"I wasn't asleep," she whispered, closing her eyes again, "I was just resting my eyes until you woke up. I've got a killer headache. It helps to keep my eyes closed."

"Oh sweetheart," Adam sympathized as he brushed the hair out of her face, "do you need the doc to give you something for the pain?"

"He already has," she answered, "it's not quite knocking it."

"Do you want me to see if there's anything else he can give you?" Adam asked, the concern was painted all over his face.

"No," she answered, her face was deathly serious and she squeezed his hand tighter than ever, "don't leave me."

A couple weeks went by, Adrien healed quickly. As soon as she was able to sit for a while and not have a headache, Adam took her home to the Ponderosa.

Adam spent every minute that he could with Adrien. Ben just about deemed Adam as completely useless on the ranch, but the he thought about what Adam had gone through. He thought that he was going to watch the love of his life die. Ben knew the pain of that reality all too well.

By the time that Adrien could walk with a crutch, the school year was already over. Adrien was sad that she didn't get to say good bye to her students, but then again, she was glad that she didn't have to deal with trying to conduct class at the hotel.

One day she was sitting in her room writing a letter to her brother Simon, and it hit her. It was all really happening.

"I'm really getting married," she said to herself, "I'm not a ballerina anymore. I'm not a teacher anymore. I'm actually be someone's wife. I won't carry a name that has so much pain behind it anymore. I will have a name that carries promise, respect, and a future." She looked down at her engagement ring. "I don't deserve him. He's way too good for me. He's put up with so much. I can't believe that he's still here after everything I've put him through."

"Hey Adrien, come down here," Adam called one afternoon. It was now early June and Adrien had completely recovered from her injuries.

When Adam called, she quickly hurried down the stairs.

"What is it, Adam?" She asked as soon as she got to the stairs. He was waiting at the bottom for her.

"Look what I have." Adam said as he showed her a letter, but when she reached for it, he held it up above his head where she couldn't reach it.

"Ok, that's not fair. It hurts too much to jump." Adrien whined, and she gave Adam her best puppy dog eyes.

"Then how were you jumping up and down off your horses yesterday?" Adam coyly asked.

"Alright fine. But I still couldn't reach it if I jumped," she pleaded, "that's still not fair. Why are you showing it to me if you aren't going to let me see it?"

"I need a kiss first."

She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, and reached for the letter that was still above his head.

"I kissed you. Now give it to me," she nagged.

"I need a real kiss." Adam answered.

"Pa, Adam's being mean to me!" Adrien called to Ben who was sitting at the desk.

"Children, be nice to each other," Ben said in a fatherly tone, as he smiled and shook his head.

"You have to kiss me," Adam smirked.

"I did," Adrien retorted.

"That was a sorry excuse for a kiss."

"Then show me a good one," Adrien challenged.

"Alright, if I must."

Adam grabbed her ands took her in his arms, leaned her back, and gave her a good long kiss. After a few moments, he let go and sat her back up.

"I'm sorry, but if that's what you want then you're out of luck." Adrien fired.

"And why is that?" Adam asked, a ornery smile on his face.

"I can't throw you around the way you did me." She fired back.

"Fine," Adam said waving the letter in front of her, "I guess I can go up to my room and read this by myself." He ran up the stairs to his room with Adrien following right behind him.

He ran through the door of his room and made the attempt to close it, but Adrien got her foot in the door before he could.

"So what do I have to do to get in there?" Adrien laughed.

"Hmm…let's see," Adam quipped, "I tried to get you to kiss me and you won't do that. So I guess I'm just going to have to steal myself a few of them." He grabbed her by the waist, picked her up and pulled her into the room. He kissed her over and over. Before they knew it, they were sitting on Adam's bed, about to get too carried away.

"Adam," Adrien whispered, "we need to stop." Adam looked up at her. By the look on his face, she could tell that her words cut him deeper that he wanted to let on. He sat up at the edge of the bed and put his head in his hands.

"Adrien, I'm sorry, but I about can't take this anymore." The frustration could be heard in his voice.

"Adam," Adrien said with much seriousness, "I know this is hard…"

"You have no idea how hard it is."

"Adam," she chastised.

"Sorry."

"As I was saying," she continued sternly, "I know this is hard. It's hard for me too. Do you think that I've just forgotten about how wonderful it is to be with you? Adam, I haven't." She laid her head on his shoulder. "But we went a lot further than we should have before, and we paid the price for it."

"I know we have, Adrien, but everyday, I touch you. I kiss you. I hold you, and I just can't help it. I want you."

"And does it ever cross your mind that I might want the same thing?"

"Sometimes," Adam answered honestly, "and then there are others that I wonder if you just like to torture me."

"I'm sorry, dear," I don't mean to torture you. But I'm glad that we have behaved ourselves so far. We have actually spent our time getting to know each other. I love you more now than I ever did before, and our wedding night will be so much more magical because we love each other so much more now than we did before."

"I know, I know." Adam said looking at up at her, "It's just so hard when you are right here."

"Well, I can fix that. I'm well enough to go home now. I can take care of myself."

"Yes, but your house isn't."

"What?"

"The night of the fire, the miners went on a little rampage and all the windows are broken out of your house. They burned the barn down and part of the house is burned.

"What about Buttons, and the cat?" Adrien asked.

"They're fine. Buttons in the barn with the other milk cows and the cat is still running around your place. I brought all your clothes and stuff here. It's all in the guest room downstairs."

"So all this needs to get fixed, doesn't it?"

"Yes," Adam answered, "I've been meaning to get around to it, but I still get nervous leaving you alone, so I haven't done it yet."

"That's alright, we can do it together now." Adrien put her arm across Adam's shoulders.

"Not right now, we can't." Adam answered.

"Why?" Adrien asked extremely confused.

"Read the letter," Adam said handing her the letter.

"It's from John," Adrien said ecstatically. She took out the letter and read it. "He and Jessica are finally getting married!"

"Yes, they are, in four weeks."

"I have to go."

"Yes, we have to."

"Why did you say we?"

"Keep reading." She kept going.

"Oh, goodness! Jess wants me to be her maid of honor, and John wants you to be best man!" Adrien exclaimed.

"Yes, that means we need to leave in 4 days."

"We need to send them a telegraph and let them know we're coming."

"Already done," Adam said getting up off the bed and sitting back down at his desk.

"How are we going to do this, Adam?" Adrien asked, concern suddenly coming over her face.

"It's like you said, self control, dear, self control." Adam answered.

"Do you actually think a trip like this is wise?" Adrien asked.

"What else are we going to do?" Adam asked, "There's no sense in not traveling together. We have the same destination. We'll just have to be careful, and avoid these situations at all cost."

"Oh boy," Adrien said sighing nervously, "This is going to be interesting."


End file.
